Weapons of the Slayer
Havaianas, Crocs, flip-flops, they’re all the same to me: tsinelas. I would not wear tsinelas outside the house unless they came with an invisible germ-repelling force field—do you know what sort of filth you’re stepping on each time you go out? Sewage bubbling up from underground, toxic sludge, loogies and other disgusting emanations. To say nothing of microorganisms. Tsinelas are for two things: to wear in the shower, and to kill cockroaches.
Tsinelas are the only reliable cockroach-termination weapon. The most advanced insecticides cannot be trusted: they only lead to future generations of ipis immune to bug spray, plus they stink up your house and probably have terrible side effects on the health of your pets and humans. Would you eat pesticide-laced vegetables (You probably already have)? You think you’ve annihilated the cockroaches, but the repulsive little monsters are only playing dead!
The only way to guarantee that the ipis is dead, extinct, bereft of life, an ex-ipis, is to whack it so hard with a tsinelas that its insides come out. Or to squish it with a tsinelas until it oozes. (And then disinfect your floor.) Remember: cockroaches can survive without their heads, so decapitation is not enough. Bear in mind that they can survive a nuclear holocaust. They must be terminated with extreme prejudice. Now pick up that tsinelas.
Answers to questions you might be asking, unless you wandered onto this site purely by accident >>>
October 12th, 2006 at 12:51
Hehehe. My blog logo is tsinelas.
By the way, I mentioned you here and here.
:)
October 12th, 2006 at 13:47
I personally have an axe to grind on people – friends, lovers and enemies all – who swagger with borrowed air of coolness thinking they look uber cool with this unfashionable domestic item.
I mean, dudes and dudettes, puh-leez, a pair of tsinelas does not become especially if you unless you are trying to snag a slot on Mark Burnett’s Boarding House North Shore.
So what if Philippines is a tropical country? Certainly you are not telling me it is an archipelago of 7,107 beaches, are you?
You’re just being trendy? What?! In this cockroach city? You think airy footwears look compatible with these scavenging insects of the Order Blattodea?
This is a fashion faux pas, you sonnamabeaches! We are not beach republic yet so cover up your toes.
So next time, you’re on digit-display mode, think national economy because in the grander scheme of things, “The more digits you show, the fewer digits your paycheck is probably going to be.” – David Zinczenko, Men’s Health, Editor-in-chief
October 12th, 2006 at 14:06
I have a newfound respect for tsinelas.
October 12th, 2006 at 16:02
i get goosebumps when i hear the crunching sound of cockroach-squishing. once, i caught my cat Cha-cha eating a crunched-up roach, i had to brush his teeth.
October 12th, 2006 at 16:10
I can kill flying ipis with my tsinelas.
I win.
October 12th, 2006 at 16:12
My wife does not approve of whacking it. She hates seeing those juices on the floor when I whacked it. Let Baygon take care of it. the problem is when it flies. She screems big time when it flies.
She did the screeming once when we were inside the church as one ipis flew over her head. Now that was embrassing.
October 12th, 2006 at 18:48
best way to kill cockroaches is to have a spray bottle filled with soapy water. just aim and fire. dirty bug dies of godly cleanliness. reaches corners where no slipper has ever gone before.
October 12th, 2006 at 19:27
MABUHAY ANG TSINELAS! -the future threat to the pest control industry! :D
October 13th, 2006 at 09:56
CBS News once featured an article on a highly-esteemed American sorority doing a courtesy call with Bush after receiving a prestigious recognition. Everybody was like wearing in gay abandon, well, what think you, flip-flops!
Vogue among others led in ostracizing the group because the picture didn’t quite register well on the pages of fashion mags what with Bush in the middle wearing casual shoes which indeed was fashionably appropriate.
Am not saying he does not have his own political, naye, “pronounciation flip-flops”, but that the guy at least has fashion sense.
Enter RP. First I thought it rather eccentrically cute on Manay Lolit. But now, with the burgeoning flip-floppity noise on the roach-infested Manila thoroughfares, heavens forbid… unless we’re declaring a roach-squishing campaign (thanks, Jessica for the brilliant idea) the picture badly suggests we are yet a republic of people who don’t know what “putting a best foot forward” means…
There.
——
Erratum : “…I mean, dudes and dudettes, puh-leez, a pair of tsinelas does not become especially if you unless you are trying to snag a slot on Mark Burnett’s Boarding House North Shore.”
Should read : “…I mean, dudes and dudettes, puh-leez, a pair of tsinelas does not become you unless you are trying to snag a slot on Mark Burnett’s Boarding House North Shore.”