JessicaRulestheUniverse.com

1. I always mean what I say, especially when I’m being ironic.

2. No one believes me, but I am one of the happiest people I know, and now I have quantitative evidence. Take this Authentic Happiness Inventory, a test developed at the University of Pennsylvania. On a scale of 1 to 5, 5 being the happiest, I scored 3.54.

3. Having read the Old Testament, the Iliad, T.H. White, J.R.R. Tolkien, and Dune early in life, I tend to view human existence as a battlefield (I also picked up the notion of “the chosen”). It is a harsh realm, and we must be strong. Terrible things happen, but we do not give in to despair. I expect people to be warriors. I expect them to be brave, truthful, and just. I know they are generally none of the above (and this makes me angry, which is why I am regularly mistaken for an unhappy person), but it’s a little late to adjust my standards. Stooping is bad for the posture.