JessicaRulestheUniverse.com

Speaking of Melanie Garcia Marquez, it was recently pointed out to me that—

Wait, let me start at the beginning. One of my favorite humans on earth is Jay-Lo. In my biopic he will be played by the young Claudia Cardinale. A few days ago, I was alerted to a disturbing bit of information from Jay’s past. My mind reeled so fast that it took a triple marocchino to get my head back on its axis; at the same time, given what I know of Jay’s professional history, it was not that surprising. How could I not have known? But Jay himself confirmed it, and now I must reveal that—

Jay-Lo discovered Melanie Garcia Marquez.

In the late 1970s, when the Bee Gees ruled with their disco falsettos, Jay worked in the atelier of couturier Rene Salud. One day, on a JD Transit bus, Jay spotted a very tall and striking young woman. After watching her for a few minutes, he went up to her and introduced himself. She said her name was Mimilanie. He asked her if she’d done any modeling, and she said yes. So he introduced her to Rene Salud, and you know the rest.

My question is, has Jay participated in a misdemeanor against humanity, or has he helped advance the cause of metalinguistics and the cognitive sciences?

Turns out that he wasn’t the only one at dinner who’d worked with Ms. Marquez. Riccardo had done a photo shoot with her (Will everyone please stop saying “pictorial”). She name-dropped Gianni Ver-se-cha. Later, someone walked past them in a D&G T-shirt. “I like his shirt,” she declared, “DAG.”

Cecile’s friends used to ring Ms. Marquez’s house just to hear this recorded message on her answering machine. “You have reached (number),” she intoned. “I can’t come to the phone right now, but if you leave your name. . .” and so on. Then a little boy’s voice piped up, “I love you, Mommy.” And she replied, “I love you too, Manolito.”

Her fabulosity knows no bounds.