Heckling
For as long as I can remember, the Oscars have been telecast “live” on Channel 9—so many commercials were squeezed into the breaks that the broadcast ran two hours after the winners’ names were announced on CNN. This year the Academy Awards aired live on the Velvet cable channel, which some of us do not have, so we invited ourselves to a friend’s house for Oscars brunch.
As far as I am concerned this is an excellent batch of nominees, but there is one work of true genius among them, and it is Paul Thomas Anderson’s There Will Be Blood. Even its flaws underscore its brilliance. That said, I did not think it could win Best Picture—because The Coens’s No Country For Old Men had swept the guild prizes, and because I didn’t think the voters would like it. It is not a picture that wants to be liked. So I joined Raymond in betting on No Country, while Leo and Chus bet on Blood. The fact that Leo and Chus had not actually seen Blood, and the fact that No Country both impressed and repelled me (I’d like to believe that humanity deserves more than a stain on the bottom of a shoe), were immaterial—we were going for probabilities and outcomes.
– Alright, no one say anything about the host, he’s my husband.
– Is everyone pregnant?
– Obscene proposal to Javier Bardem.
– Why is Amy Adams (from Enchanted) dressed like a matron?
– Or a congressional spouse.
– In something from Karimadon.
– Poor girl, that song doesn’t really work without the rats and cockroaches. She doesn’t even have visual effects or back-up dancers, it’s not fair.
– Tilda Swinton! Upset!
– Nanalo si Aling Tilda, makakabili na siya ng manggas. (Now that Tilda’s won, she can buy another sleeve.)
– All the live action short nominees are foreign.
– Haay ang guapo ni George Clooney! Aww, I’d do Seth Rogen.
– Make up your mind. Clooney or Rogen?
– Obscene proposal to Colin Farrell. A talented actor whose best work is still that sex video.
– Colin, you need to see Chus about your hair.
– The sound is awful, I can barely hear them sing Falling Slowly.
– This show looks like it was thrown together at the last minute. Did the montage-makers go on strike too?
– Ricky texted. They forgot to put Brad Renfro in the In Memoriam montage.
– Ha ha, the orchestra won’t interrupt the winner for Musical Score with a snippet from his musical score. Because that would be ironic.
– Nooo, the orchestra cut off Marketa!
– (Big laugh at “That guy is so arrogant!”)
– Jon brought her back! I love you, Jon.
– (Cate Blanchett grimaces at the clip from Elizabeth: The Golden Age, summing up how we feel about that movie. Applause.)
– Oh no, is Juno going to win?
– La Vie en Rose was so-so, but Marion Cotillard was spectacular as Piaf.
– Tapos na ba? Pag local awards show, last ang Best Actress. (Is it over? On local awards shows, Best Actress is awarded last.)
– Gil-roy! Gil-roy! Oh blast.
– In fairness, carry ni Diablo Cody ang damit na yan. (To be fair, Diablo Cody carries that outfit well.)
– Why is she pulling it down? If you’re going to wear a dress slit to there, be prepared to show “there”. And she’s a former stripper.
– (All together) Viggooooooooooo.
– Sana yung fight scene na lang ang pinalabas para nakahubad siya. (They should’ve shown the fight scene where he’s naked.)
–(I decide to change my cat Mat’s name to Matthias Eomer Federer-Urban-Day-Lewis.) He’s really a writer’s son, note how he summed up the theme of the evening.
– This really is a beauty contest. Marty should wear a cape and crown and pass them on to his successor.
– (All together) P-T-An-der-son!
– Oh well. Which one is married to Frances MacDormand?
– We win! Let’s get halo-halo.
– (We all get up and walk to Kozui for halo-halo.)
Answers to questions you might be asking, unless you wandered onto this site purely by accident >>>
February 25th, 2008 at 16:47
What would I give to be Viggo’s niece.
Cate Blanchett grimacing: exactly.
Haha, inagaw ni Kristin Chenoweth ang production number ni Amy Adams!
February 25th, 2008 at 21:03
Amy Adams should have sang both songs, although I like Krisitin, but the song is really for Amy. Ba’t last year Beyonce kinanta nya lahat? haha
And for the other enchanted songs todo production ba’t kay amy solo lang sya para tuloy syang nasali sa Little Miss Philippines
Jennifer Hudson looked lost when she was a presenter
But for me the best moment was the pahabol speech of Marketa!
February 25th, 2008 at 22:21
I was happy that Tilda and Javier won for their monster roles.
They should have made Amy Adams wear a rat costume, every second of that embarassingly cheesy performance made me want to smash the TV!
Overall, I found this year’s Oscar’s boring.
February 26th, 2008 at 00:16
Marketa’s hope-is-universal speech made me persevere in desperately hoping for There Will Be Blood to win even though No Country For Old Men was the Barack Obama in the best picture race. This is apparently the year for actors with European accents. But, what’s up with the slippery floor? Miley Cyrus, Colin Farrell, John Travolta, and even The Rock almost went down. That would have been The Oscar Moment. But the best (and freakiest) Oscar moment happened at the red carpet when Gary Busey crashed Ryan Seacrest’s interview and gave Jennifer Garner a tight hug and unwelcome kiss on the neck (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xQYeL7RInsg). Busey was later detained by security ’til the end of the show, and released only after counting all 7,645 diamonds of Nicole Kidman’s necklace.
February 26th, 2008 at 01:17
First time I laughed out loud at an Oscar opener. Olympia Dukakis, Hillary Clinton’s feel-good movie of the year, automatic front-runner for Republican nom, asteroid about to hit Statue of Liberty, Gaydolf Titler. Then later… that guy is so arrogant, Javier Bardem just told his mother where the library is. Jon Stewart earned his talent fee good.
Seen “Once” yet? No sign of it on this blog. That, or I did a crappy search.
PS. Colin Farrell was on Letterman last week. Looked like Kid Rock with a brogue.
February 26th, 2008 at 08:02
please stop calling jon stewart “my husband.” this kind of rhetoric only works if you have a modicum of attractiveness.
February 26th, 2008 at 09:14
jon stewart asking marketa to speak was
the highlight of my oscar night.
what a win by Tilda Swinton. better late than never.
Javier Bardem….way way caliente than antonio banderas …
February 26th, 2008 at 11:08
Gadolf Tittler! Very funny! Hahahaha
February 26th, 2008 at 12:43
I believe in conserving natural resources, but this Oscar show felt like they recycled sets and props from the 80’s, to save money. Even the montages look cheap, and sucked. And it’s supposed to be the 80th.
Kudos to Jon Stewart for giving the floor to Marketa, and for playing some tennis Wii with the choir girl on that big screen.
February 26th, 2008 at 13:53
Yey for Once! I hope our filmmakers can also make something this. A simple and restrained love story with a killer soundtrack. Tama na yang mga John Lloyd-Bea trash na yan. Also, totoo nga: Tilda Swinton looks like my mother’s pang-display na figurines. Patrician na androgynous! Ayy!!
February 26th, 2008 at 14:49
Hey, did anybody notice Glen Hansard’s guitar? It had big holes on it. I think its the same guitar he used in the movie, Once. Busker talaga!
February 26th, 2008 at 18:20
the oscars for this year fall to an all time low
http://www.variety.com/VR1117981421.html
February 27th, 2008 at 02:34
I’m sooo in love with Ms. Cody!!!
She works her dress well even with that tat on her arm…ever noticed that she was barefoot? Sayang di nanalo si Ellen Page…but Mr. Day-Lewis does deserve his award (yup…I’ve seen both Juno & There Will Be Blood – on the big screen)
February 27th, 2008 at 14:03
no she wasnt barefoot
she wore gold ballet flats.
not the stuart weitzman thingy she was supposed to wear for publicity.
February 28th, 2008 at 07:48
I’m happy for no country, but not that happy because blood didn’t win. hay….
February 28th, 2008 at 18:58
the joke about hillary was hillarious. that made me laugh. bwahahahahahaha
I guess, jessica is uber happy that daniel day lewis brought home the golden statue, although he was fined for wearing the suede shoe with a bling on his left ear.
February 28th, 2008 at 21:57
my bad kat…
10,000 “ganda” points for Diablo for sticking it up to them. Minsan garapalan talaga ang mga nagsusupply ng clothing para sa awardees/presenters roon