My Big Lobotomy
Since I flatlined in the first ten minutes of My Big Love, directed by Jade Castro and starring Sam Milby and Toni Gonzaga, this review follows the Stages of Death.
Anger. This movie is worse than awful, it aspires to mediocrity. We know this is a studio product made specifically for Milby and Gonzaga fans, but must it be so dull and vacuous? They tossed out the basic elements of storytelling (Conflict? Tension?) and replaced them with insipid musical montages. Is it sheer laziness or a refusal to engage the audience’s intelligence? The pace is leaden, the characters’ behavior unnatural, the dialogue stilted and crammed with platitudes, the score relentless. If that music does not stop, I’m going to shoot the speakers.
Denial. This can’t be by the writer and director of Endo.
– Didn’t you say he was brilliant?
– I meant Raul Castro! (of McCann, not Cuba.)
– But you’re a huge fan. . .
– Of Fidel Castro! Especially when he was hanging out with Che Guevara!
Bargaining. Just 5 more minutes, it might get better.
Acceptance. It’s crap. Not that anyone’s opinion matters, since it’s probably a hit.
Death.
– We’re not really the target market for this.
– Yes. We’re not in a coma.
P.S. I forgot to include Mike’s comments. We’d already figured out the plot from the poster, so he was free to concentrate on details. “Ay, that lamp is from SM. He didn’t transfer the roast chicken onto a proper serving plate! Luma ang equipment sa Gold’s Gym. May personal trainer ba na 24 hours at outdoors? What does she charge, P10,000 a day? Ang cute naman ng brother niya. Saan ba ang barangay na yan at ang cute ng mga istambay?”
Answers to questions you might be asking, unless you wandered onto this site purely by accident >>>
February 27th, 2008 at 21:53
Recently, the TV and movie outfits of the two “number 1” networks in the country have taken to producing movie/TV shows that feature some of their more bankable talents wearing body foam to make them look obese, or body paint, to make them look like aetas, complete with the curly wig. I don’t know what they’re trying to prove with this. I mean I’m sure no one in this forum follow that hideous local remake of a Mexican telenovela,(I don’t, but our 2 househelps do, not surprisingly) which, I believe, is the biggest crap in Philippine television today. Marimar is alive! No she’s dead! She’s alive! She’s dead! Sergio is an ass! Richard Gomez must retire! They should dump the writers of this show in boiling water!
February 28th, 2008 at 03:03
Generally, I like formulating my own opinion about things but considering the local movie industry’s track record, I’ll take your word for it (not that I bother to watch mainstream Tagalog films…I can only do so much cringeing).
February 28th, 2008 at 10:26
Serves you right for even considering watching it. As punishment, you will be forced to watch ALL robin padilla movies, annotated by kris aquino and ruffa gutierrez.
And may God have mercy on you soul. :>
February 28th, 2008 at 10:56
endo this is not…
and sam milby and toni gonzaga in a close-up commercial playing on a loop.
February 28th, 2008 at 15:35
hmmmmmm
denial is a river in egypt!!!
nagenjoy ka eh!!
LOL
February 28th, 2008 at 17:59
Either he sold out, or this is his “money” movie.
February 28th, 2008 at 18:39
I bet this movie will flop!
February 29th, 2008 at 03:00
Judging by the trailer alone, you can tell this movie is made of FAIL!
February 29th, 2008 at 10:23
Um, Jessica, the last stage of death and dying by Kuhbler-Ross (I’m lazy so I won’t put the umlauts) is grief not “death.”
March 4th, 2008 at 10:03
I wanted to be a film director….my pet project will have Sam Milby play either an NPA rebel or a fisherman.
I’ll have veteran stage actors play alongside him so that whenever he tries to act cutesy or mug for the camera, they can chew him out off-cam.
Worse than that, if he ever slides into his American accent each time he delivers his lines, I’ve got a hot poker on the standby so I can have his tongue pulled out and singed with it when he does.
March 5th, 2008 at 21:50
Uy, nakakausap ka pala sa Tagalog. Hindi na masyadong intimidating.
March 6th, 2008 at 08:21
May review ka ng Juno? Gusto ko lang malaman kung ano tingin mo sa pelikula na yun.