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Incidences of the word “Filipino” in recent American literature:

In Patricia Marx’s novel Him Her Him Again The End of Him, the romantic interest’s name is Eugene Obello and the unnamed heroine’s friend says “obello” is a Filipino word for machete. I don’t know which Filipino dialect or language is referred to. Marx’s novel is hilarious until the halfway point, when it begins to resemble a Daily Show segment that’s gone on too long. Yes, smart women do stupid things for love, we got it in the first ten pages. Marx was a former writer on the Harvard Lampoon and Saturday Night Live–if she’d written for The Simpsons she’d have the same career track as Conan O’Brien.

In Tobias Wolff’s story Benefit Of The Doubt, the protagonist takes the bus in Rome and notes that most of the passengers are Filipino. Benefit Of The Doubt is one of the new stories in Our Story Begins, my favorite story collection of the year even if half its contents appeared in his earlier books.

In The Mayor’s Tongue by Nathaniel Rich, the Dominican character Alvaro has an affair with a Filipino nurse named Betty. Just started reading the book. Someone else is obsessed with Jan Morris’s book about Trieste!

Big Bird, Ernie, Grungella, and Big Bird’s Non-Imaginary Friend had dessert and coffee at a newish restaurant. Big Bird tried the apple pie. His friends awaited his opinion.

“Hmm,” he said portentously. “Um. . .urhm. . .the crust is good.”

“That’s it?” Ernie asked. “Good crust?”

Big Bird pushed the uneaten slice around his plate. “And look, the china is beautiful. Such detail.”

“This is a new school of criticism,” Grungella declared. “We only say positive things–”

“And you read between the lines!” Ernie said. “Note the decor: subtle baroque.”

“I didn’t even think that was possible,” Grungella said. “This restaurant brings oxymorons to life!”

“What about the food?” BB’s NIF pointed out.

“For maximum enjoyment,” Ernie replied, “Be sure to sit under a chandelier!”

“More chandeliers per square meter than other restaurants in this mall!” Grungella added.

They had started a new movement.

Cats, originally uploaded by 160507.

Behavior that is unattractive in humans but endearing in felines:

Koosi ignores me when I play with her, but when I’m not paying attention she walks over and bites my toes. She likes to hide behind curtains and under furniture, and launch stealth attacks on the other cats. She turns up her nose at most kinds of food, fresh fish included, and says “Eww” by pawing the floor next to the bowl.  She will only eat if I’m not watching. Lately she’s taken to being called O Mighty Goddess Bast.

Saffy will look up when I call her name, look me up and down, and not come near me. However when I call Koosi and Mat, she comes running. She does not like it when I pay attention to the other cats, and expresses it by trying to bite me. Sometimes she will attack a book I am reading. Her favorite spot for naps is the keyboard of my Mac–while I’m working on it. She likes to chew on wool and on certain types of plastic such as Fully Booked bags. We have lots of bookstore bags “embossed” with her fangs.

Mat will eat from his own bowl at breakfast, but the rest of the day he sneaks snacks from Koosi’s and Saffy’s bowls. He acts like he’s afraid of heights, but sometimes when I get home he’s on top of a shelf, invading Koosi’s territory. When we go out he refuses to walk on his own, preferring to be carried at all times. He ignores cat toys, but is fascinated with pens. He is too hoity-toity to bury his own poop in the litter box; instead he starts clawing at the side of the toilet bowl as if he were trying to flush.

When I bring them new toys, they ignore the toys and play with the wrappers or boxes.

James Reyes, originally uploaded by 160507.

This is James Reyes’s mood board for his Fashion Watch Quartet collection, showing May 20 and 22, 4pm teatime at the Shangri-la Makati.

“The collection was inspired by music and images from the early 80’s. It was the time when music dictated fashion and MTV was our fashion magazine. It was the time when we dressed up like our favorite singers and Manila became seasonless (winter wear in the middle of summer). This was also the time when Japanese designers ruled the fashion world and clothes were brooding, conceptual and emotive. This was the time my interest in fashion and style was solidified.

“This collection is a visual journal of who I am as a designer. Since this is my first solo show, I’m treating it as sort of a re-introduction of my design sensibilities. It will show my design influences and the direction my fashion is going. What will be evident in my collection is my graphic design background. After years of working in an ad agency, graphic design never left my system. I will be showing black, white and gray pieces which for me, covers an entire spectrum of color. Working with these colors give me a sense of freedom to create new shapes and surface tensions. My interest in architecture will be seen in the streamlined shapes and forms I used in the patterns but still respecting the human form. Music is a big influence in all my collections. This time, New Wave music of the early 80’s gave me visions of a concrete metropolis filled with people rushing about in cold weather, the wind blowing their coats and scarves about, a huge rush hour crowd in black layers, steel structures of modern buildings, twinkling windows of skyscrapers instead of stars, fog, smog and urban decay.

“If this collection had a title, I’d probably call it Metropolis.”

A group has filed suit against the CERN Large Hadron Collider. Among other doomsday scenarios, they cite the possibility that when the LHC is turned on, it will create black holes that will swallow up matter and suck up the earth.

This reminds me of our third-year science project at Pisay. My groupmates did all the work because it was a continuation of their second-year  project. It was a prototype for a machine that would harness energy from water, and it looked like a small windmill. Or it may have been a small hadron collider–I wasn’t paying attention, and now I regret it.

Some teachers came round to grade the projects. One teacher listened to the presentation with great interest, then asked, “But if you generate all that heat from the ocean, won’t the ocean freeze over?” This was the same teacher, by the way, who posed this question on an exam: China is opposite the US on the globe. If the entire population of China were to jump a foot in the air at the exact same instant, will the impact of their landing propel the population of the US into outer space? I’m sorry that I wasn’t in his physics class.

Ayyy! Did you see Rafael Nadal’s feet when he was treated for blisters at the Rome Open? The pain! And yet he went on playing even if he had good reason to quit. That’s quality. He does not taint the opponent’s victory by claiming injury or illness–even when it’s obvious. (Remember Pete Sampras at the US Open, throwing up during the match against Corretja? Oh right, he won that one.) Unlike certain players: dust rising from clay causing breathing problems, ha! (Federer fans, I know what you’re thinking because I’m thinking the same thing but let’s not say anything until it comes to pass.)

Shouldn’t Rafa’s shoe sponsor Nike design footwear specifically for his requirements? He does more running and jumping than nearly everyone else, more sliding on clay. Obviously his feet need more cushioning and friction protection than most. Blister-proof socks? Then again Rafa himself pointed out that the tour schedule is insane.

Update. See? Just by saying “Don’t say it” you jinx it. Fortunately that’s not what I was thinking. The illogic of superstition, very Heisenberg. Is it possible to serve and volley to victory on clay? Can the fastest game win on the slowest court, can impatience win on the surface that requires patience? Radek Stepanek (wasn’t he engaged to Martina Hingis?) thinks so. In the 90s Patrick Rafter served and volleyed his way to the semis at the French. Then he lost to a grinder, Bruguera, and then Guga won the final. I miss Guga.

from Scientific American News: You’ve given up your fair share of sleep—will you ever feel rested again? By Molly Webster

“Let’s do some sleep math. You lost two hours of sleep every night last week because of a big project due on Friday. On Saturday and Sunday, you slept in, getting four extra hours. Come Monday morning, you were feeling so bright-eyed, you only had one cup of coffee, instead of your usual two. But don’t be duped by your apparent vim and vigor: You’re still carrying around a heavy load of sleepiness, or what experts call “sleep debt”—in this case something like six hours, almost a full nights’ sleep. Sleep debt is the difference between the amount of sleep you should be getting and the amount you actually get. It’s a deficit that grows every time we skim some extra minutes off our nightly slumber. “People accumulate sleep debt surreptitiously,” says psychiatrist William C. Dement, founder of the Stanford University Sleep Clinic. Studies show that such short-term sleep deprivation leads to a foggy brain, worsened vision, impaired driving, and trouble remembering. Long-term effects include obesity, insulin resistance, and heart disease.

“The good news is that, like all debt, with some work, sleep debt can be repaid—though it won’t happen in one extended snooze marathon. Tacking on an extra hour or two of sleep a night is the way to catch up. For the chronically sleep deprived, take it easy for a few months to get back into a natural sleep pattern, says Lawrence J. Epstein, medical director of the Harvard-affiliated Sleep HealthCenters.

“Go to bed when you are tired, and allow your body to wake you in the morning (no alarm clock allowed). You may find yourself catatonic in the beginning of the recovery cycle: Expect to bank upward of ten hours shut-eye per night. As the days pass, however, the amount of time sleeping will gradually decrease. For recovery sleep, both the hours slept and the intensity of the sleep are important. Some of your most refreshing sleep occurs during deep sleep. Although such sleep’s true effects are still being studied, it is generally considered a restorative period for the brain. And when you sleep more hours, you allow your brain to spend more time in this rejuvenating period.

“So earn back that lost sleep—and follow the dictates of your innate sleep needs. You’ll feel better. “When you put away sleep debt, you become superhuman,” says Stanford’s Dement, talking about the improved mental and physical capabilities that come with being well rested. Finally, a scientific reason to sleep in on Saturday.”

Ha! The secret of my megalomania: 9 hours of sleep a day. When I had insomnia for a month last year it drove me bonkers. I love that the sleep expert is named Doctor Dement.

The first part of this Bacolod travelogue appears in my column Emotional Weather Report today in the Star. Read that first.

The next morning I had breakfast at the hotel, checked out, and gave my talk at La Salle. It went well, I think, at least no one fell into a coma of boredom. Then we all had a humongous lunch at Aboy’s with Mark’s friends. (There were artistas at the next table, in town for a mall tour.) We had laing, scallops, tuna belly, talaba, liempo, sinigang na bangus, and durian ice cream (7 people, P2,000). I tore myself from the table before I imploded.

For pasalubong shopping Mark brought us to Bong Bong’s, where I got piaya (P37 a pack, different flavors) and barquirones (barquillos with milk powder, P37), mascobado rocks (evil candy, P49 a jar) and the napoleones of world domination (P130 for a box of 12)–you eat them, the sugar high makes you start thinking you’re Napoleon, you try to conquer the world. Then we looked at local crafts at the Negros Showroom–you can never have enough crocheted drinking glass holders–and had just enough time for an espresso at Cafe Uma before it was time to go to the airport. (Ige stayed on, to eat his way across Negros.)

The PAL flight to Manila was two hours late. Two hours I would’ve spent eating. I stuck around the airport and watched three episodes of Fawlty Towers on my iPod.

Cape Bojeador, originally uploaded by 160507.

My article on Ilocos Norte appears in the May issue of Travel+Leisure (Southeast Asia). The best time to go is December. I went in October, it was boiling.

What the hell, I just posted it again. Very pleased with myself at succesful download from my own memory–numbering helps. Now let’s see it the original post reappears or if this vanishes again. Please re-post your comments on Iron Man.

1. We love Robert Downey Jr, that’s a given. It’s a love that endures drug addiction, bad movies, prison, rehab, prison, and rehab again. It makes perfect sense that an actor we first noticed in Weird Science should appear in his first blockbuster Iron Man as a geek arms dealer who makes himself a suit of super armor.

2. On the most drugged-out day of his life, Robert Downey Jr is still a better actor than 95% of what’s out there. If anyone can navigate the absurdities of playing a comic book hero, it’s Downey. The storyline of Iron Man even follows his career arc: early success, early excess, incarceration and torment, escape, constant temptation (In one scene he’s surrounded by powder–desert sand, but still powder), then redemption (Because in Hollywood, big box-office is the only kind of redemption). Still, it says something about Hollywood that two of the finest actors of their respective generations, Robert Downey Jr and Jeff Bridges (among his brilliant performances: The Dude) have to put on full metal armor with their faces covered in order to score a major hit.

3. Wasn’t Gwyneth Paltrow once an Oscar-winning actress? Why is she playing a damsel in distress? A loyal and efficient damsel, but still in need of rescue. To the filmmakers’ credit, she doesn’t suddenly turn out to be a kung fu master.

4. I enjoyed Iron Man! There’s something to be said for low expectations. Watch the movie until the very end, after all the credits, even if the theatre staff are sweeping the floor under your feet. Something happens.

5. Poor Ewan MacGregor, reduced to drivel like Deception. I haven’t seen it, but from the trailer it looks like drivel. James MacAvoy now has his career. Is Jimmy more ambitious? Does he have a better agent? Is he simply luckier? Or has Ewan’s constant full frontal nudity actually hurt his chances? Is that even possible?

6. I can’t wait to see Harold and Kumar Escape From Guantanamo Bay! These days even stoner comedies have to involve torture and “the war on terror” as Hollywood expiates for (and cashes in on) its “liberal” guilt. It goes without saying that all superhero movies will involve same, and for maximum political correctness, all the villains will turn out to be American.

From The New Republic: Stop Trying To Kill Robert Downey Jr! 

Something odd is going on. I posted a review of Iron Man at 5 pm yesterday. Everything on the site seemed normal. Then I checked back at 11 pm and Robogeek had disappeared. However it was in the archive, so I re-posted it. Then a comment from the previous post on Bino’s book vanished, so I left a comment that Jediknight should re-post it. Meanwhile, a comment came in from Montresor on Iron Man.

Twenty minutes ago I logged on and Iron Man and the comment were gone, but the comment on Bino’s book had returned. I feel like I’m in a time warp. I could type it again but I want to know if anyone else saw it. Or do we have to call in the Goonies.

Bino Realuyo’s first book of poetry, The Gods We Worship Live Next Door, winner of the Agha Shahid Ali Prize in Poetry in the US, has just been published in Manila. His previous book was the novel, The Umbrella Country. Bino was born in Manila and migrated to the US with his family in his teens. His father was a survivor of the Bataan Death March. Bino’s day job is teaching survival English to poor Americans, most of them immigrants.

I met Bino in 1999. We have mutual friends who gave me his number so I called him in New York and we met at the Boathouse in Central Park. I was horrendously late because, as usual, I took the wrong train and it was nonstop to the Bronx or something. Every time I’m in his neighborhood we get together and have strange adventures. The last time, we went to Elvie’s Turo-Turo, where the Pinoy at the counter was freaking out white customers who ordered sinigang by asking, “Do you want head?” Literal translation of perfectly innocuous sinigang-related question: “Gusto mo ng ulo o katawan?”

Here’s a poem by Bino.

From a Filipino Death March Survivor Whose World War II Benefits Were Rescinded by the US Congress in 1946
In Memoriam, Augusto Roa Realuyo, 1921-2003

1. I left three years ago.
2. If you want to know about my rural childhood, ask my survivors.
3. If you want to know how I was recruited into the United States army at twenty, ask President Roosevelt.
4. If you want to know how I ended up in the Death March at twenty-one, ask General MacArthur.
5. If you want to know how many of my friends perished in the Japanese concentration camps, ask General Homma.
6. If you want to know how I contracted malaria, beri-beri, dysentery, skin disease, gastrointestinal disease in one month, ask the Japanese Camp Commander.
7. If you want to know how my military benefits were rescinded at the end of the war, ask President Truman.
8. If you want to know how I became a 100% disabled veteran, ask my V.A. doctors.
9. If you want to know how I got burial benefits, ask President Clinton.
10. If you want to know why I wasn’t buried in Arlington, ask Judge Owen.
11. If you want to know how I died without seeing the Rescission Act of 1946 repealed, ask me again.
12. Then again.
13. I’ve been asking the same question for sixty years.
14. _________
15. I don’t know why, really.
16. I don’t know why Filipinos have ignored it for so long.
17. I don’t know why Americans don’t know this happened.
18. I don’t want to think about this anymore.
19. 46. . .
20. 06. Sixty years. I couldn’t wait anymore.