JessicaRulestheUniverse.com

Our friend Carlo the pastry chef gave a presentation on entertaining at home.

“I’ve got it,” I told Noel. We had planted ourselves in the back of the room, where we could talk without interrupting the proceedings. Noel and I have realized that we are characters in a 1930s screwball comedy who have escaped from our movie. (You’ve seen The Purple Rose of Cairo? Similar idea.) “I have an excellent idea for the cookbook Carlo will write. We’ll call it “Cooking for Mistresses”. It cannot help but be a bestseller!”

“I can see it!” Noel said. “You can’t cook? Not a problem! Serve the sashimi on your breasts!”

“And to make sure all demographics are covered,” I said, “We should publish a companion volume: “The Anti-Mistress Cookbook.” Chapter 1: Defend your house from that gold-digging tramp. She’s probably planning to serve sashimi on her breasts! Here’s the counter-measure.”

Quantum of Martha in Emotional Weather Report, today in the Star.

*****

Just got a text message from Krip Yuson: Chuck Syjuco has won the Man Asian Literary Prize (They seriously need to rethink the name) for his novel, Ilustrado. Congratulations! I met Chuck in the 90s when he was doing his website; he had spiky hair and we called him Dragonball Z. I ran into him a few years ago when he was visiting from Australia. Now he lives in Montreal. (Krip’s novel The Music Child was on the shortlist for the Man Asian—See what I mean? I don’t like “Man Booker” either, it sounds like “pimp”—so I offered to put a hex on the other finalists, but I can’t hex someone I know.)