Readers’ Choice
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Why don’t I let you, the readers, choose the winner of The Abandoned Piano story contest? Pick the entry you like best, post its entry number and author’s name in Comments under this post, and tell me why you think it should (should, not will) win the prize. I trust you not to vote for your own entry; you can vote for a friend’s story if you think it’s worthy. Honor system. The Readers’ Choice will be announced on Thursday, 3pm. We’ll throw in a prize for best critique. Go.
Answers to questions you might be asking, unless you wandered onto this site purely by accident >>>
December 2nd, 2008 at 20:37
Lately, I’m quite a sucker for female protagonists and light and concise plots. Alright, I’m a bit mushy so perhaps I opt for quirky nostalgic thingies.
My null choices are stories from (22) Spliceanddice, (24) Sandino, (25) Pvcv and (8)Behindhiddendoors. I like their stories – interesting. Only that I’m not in the state for mood switches along the way.
Orangeinapod was great in that Filipino horror. It just reminded me of that Philippine Ghost Stories jologs fad years ago.
I like Hellobilly’s too. It was light, quite childish with a touch of Filipino fantasy. Great for me now ’cause I don’t like to over-think.
My top choice: NUMBER 4 – Roger M. Informative – Filipino business ironies with splice of fiction. Quite a DevComm article, I felt ’twas nice.
December 2nd, 2008 at 21:30
haha! I had the same thought too!
my vote goes to….. #7 orangeinapod
it’s brilliant! deserves a place right there, where “Ang Alamat ng Pinya” and “Alamat ng Makahiya” are!
December 3rd, 2008 at 09:59
Entry no. 20., jmq’s.
It’s the only ‘musical’ entry and is therefore a pleasant surprise. It’s short and sweet and based on current events. It captured what the rules stipulated in two stanzas of Stevie Wonder/Paul McCartney.
The ‘literary’ entries were good, but were expected, didnt have the element of novelty.
December 3rd, 2008 at 10:10
My vote goes to #8: behindhiddendoors
The story was told in a simple yet poetic manner. It sticks to you for a long while after reading it. Every line is like a lyrics to a song which melody is best played with a… piano.
December 3rd, 2008 at 13:09
I vote for #7 orangeinapod…
i agree with the first two comments, it was a great story. the writing is straightforward and without pretentions. the element of horror is unique in a way that you would not expect a story like that would emanate from an abandoned piano. plus, some of the stories posted are trying hard to be intellectual. although i also liked some of the works here that are poetic.
December 3rd, 2008 at 14:04
#8 by behindhiddendoors. simple plot, poetic and melancholic. :)
December 3rd, 2008 at 14:52
I like orangeinapod’s story (No. 7) because it reminds me of stories I read from Wakasan and Pilipino Komiks in the 80s.
December 3rd, 2008 at 18:37
If I had to vote for anything but my own, I’d vote for #19, jeg, for a number of reasons..
It begins with a hook, “Holy crap-in-a-box…”, which has the benefit of being amusing, of not being “Once upon a time”, and it indicates that something very grave has occurred. It makes me want to read on.
It builds on years of geeky fandom, dispensing with lengthy character introductions while providing much appreciated fan-service.
It entertains as an art form, without pretending to be socially relevant.
It is short, an exclamation by our main character, yet it effectively tells a whole sequence of events and the reaction thereof. An excellent example of how true story-telling is more than a mere description of what has transpired.
The only disadvantage it might have is that Fox Mulder doesn’t live in a Philippine forest. Regardless, I think it’s a winner. =)
December 3rd, 2008 at 18:48
i vote for orangeinapod, tama si booty mala-komiks ang story and it was well told, hindi OA. it could also pass for a good folk story. it’s not really scary, pero i think the writer did not really intend it to be scary. it’s easy to understand kasi tagalog. but i think even if it’s written in english it would have been good as well because the narrative is not complicated.
December 3rd, 2008 at 19:44
my vote goes to no.8 (behindhiddendoors). short and simple. the others had to much going on. hehe
December 3rd, 2008 at 23:54
My bet is the Belinda story (by no. 7 orangeinapod). The part where Belinda appears to play the piano, suddenly cry and disappear is really eerie. It’s like the stories told by my lola about spirits lingering and haunting their favorite places.
December 4th, 2008 at 06:41
The best story is Entry # 7 by orangeinapod. It stands out from the rest of the stories not merely because it was written in Tagalog, but it was told elegantly. Orangeinapod’s prose flows fluidly, like arpeggio scales played on the piano. The plot (which diverts from the easy parody and satire that other entries have) is haunting and compelling, reminescent of Daphne du Maurier’s mysteries. We discover that the mystery behind the piano is a great tragedy, and that the piano is itself a symbol of the town’s sad and violent past.
December 4th, 2008 at 08:22
These are the stories that I like best.
# 8 has an otherworldly, dreamlike quality to it. The prose is concise and simple, but skilfully woven. The explanation for the presence of the piano in the jungle is implied to be that it is the surviving remnant of a cabin (which inexplicably had a ‘piano room’). The explanation is flawed, in that there is no reason given for how the cabin crumbled in such a way as to leave no trace: remember, the point of the piano being in the woods is that it was in perfect working order, with no trace or clue left as to how it got there. Still, the elegance of the sketch and gentle romanticism of the story mitigates these faults. It is reminiscent of the tone of certain brilliant and classic Philippine short stories in English, such as ‘Coward’ by Fernando Leano. Score: 8/10
#10 reads like a hastily written tabloid bulletin and its approach to the premise is seductively charming, rejoicing as it does in the blackness of its comic irony. It hits upon the function of the media in distracting people from their plight and cleverly satirises the mammoth proportions of the cult of celebrity in the Philippines. If not for the sometimes clumsy grammar, I might have suspected that its irony and wry humour bespoke a secretly ‘Zafrian’ provenance, written under a pseudonym… Again, it doesn’t answer the question of how the paino got to its odd home. Score: 7/10
# 13 is mystical enough to put me in mind of The Silmarillion. On the other hand, it is prone to the same species of pretentiousness as that work. Thankfully, it is not as long. Even so, the language draws you in, save for certain rough patches which jar – primarily where a comparison or reference to the present day is made. To a generation raised on Tolkien and Star Wars, the approach to the opposition of light and dark, good and evil, is irresistible. It also answers the questions of how the piano got into the jungle. I personally find the explanation unsatisfying (why not a lute or a drum kit? Why would primeval forces of creation forge an instrument which only became known to history in the late 17th to early 18th century?), but the writer gets credit for addressing it. Score: 8/10
# 21 is a sample of the sort of timeless, implausible romance that makes suckers out of so many, but the ending hints at a sort of bitter kick in the teeth delivered by reality (at least by my interpretation. Imagine the speaker spending 10 years building this instrument only to find that his beloved has no idea how to play and views him as an obsessive freak! Now that’s drama.) The character telling the story reminds me of Jay Gatsby crossed with the narrator from Harry Chapin’s song ‘Taxi’. Commendably, the story also answers the question. Score: 7.5/10
I have to suggest, by way of tie-breaker, that # 8 by “behindhiddendoors†should win. I like all of the above stories, but to me, only # 8 remains completely satisfying on each re-read. It never loses its tone and its consistent internal narrative integrity.
December 4th, 2008 at 08:25
Since I can’t vote for my work, I’d give my vote to #8 behindhiddendoors. His work is short, sad, and poetic.
December 4th, 2008 at 11:44
It’s refreshing to see a Tagalog prose written so fluently. I like orangeinapod’s haunting story of Belinda and her piano.
December 4th, 2008 at 11:56
I vote for #7 orangeinapod. Its cleverly written how the piano reminds of the townspeople of its gruesome past. Despite the short narrative the characters and the events are described quite vividly. Hands down I say that its the best story among the entries.
December 4th, 2008 at 12:13
I like the way the horror story was written. I give my vote to #7 – orangeinapod.
December 4th, 2008 at 17:21
I suppose I should stop being a baby and vote. :)
#7 – orangeinapod’s story featured unexpected violence. The image of a piano stirs up melancholy, wistfulness, and a sense of the fleeting romantic or a lingering creepiness. But violence was something I was not expecting. Kudos for the pleasant surprise.