JessicaRulestheUniverse.com

Another conversation I have on a regular basis.

Televiewer: Hey, I really enjoyed that interview you did on TV last week.
Me: I’m not on TV.
Televiewer: That interview? On TV? Last week? I really enjoyed it.
Me: I wasn’t on TV last week. Haven’t done a TV show since 2002.
Televiewer: But I just saw you on TV! You interviewed si kwan, sino na nga ba yon.
Me: I swear to you I am not on television.
Televiewer: Oh! It was Jessica Soho.
Me: Ah! Premature senility. (I just thought this. One tries to be polite.)

Last week Lee had a birthday party in Bellini’s Marikina. I got the invitation by text and I thought she meant Bellini’s in Marikina Shoe Expo. Turns out there is a branch of Bellini’s in Marikina near the market in Riverbanks. From Katipunan you keep going and turn right on the second bridge after you see the big shoes. Bellini’s Marikina is run by Daniele, the son of Roberto Bellini of Pisa the ex-paparazzo frequently confused with Roberto Benigni. It has the same food and decor (that funny mural and the Leaning Tower replica) as the original restaurant in Cubao. Seven or eight years ago I had a birthday dinner at Bellini’s. A dozen guests, and the bill came to less than P3,000. It’s a lot more expensive now.

Who should appear but the actual Jessica Soho. I discovered that she’s known JayLo longer than I have, and he did her hair in the 80s. She says he gave her a hairline; he tries to shorten my giant forehead. So there: Jessica and I have been in the same place at the same time, ergo we are not the same person.

E swears he is not wearing any, nor does he remember smiling.

You still haven’t read my Newsweek piece on Kinatay? The piece was dismembered but at least it wasn’t killed. It’s in the current issue, cover date 22 June—do buy hard copy, help the publishing industry a little. Red cover, ‘Capitalist Manifesto’. The same issue has a piece on Asian chick-lit which includes our local authors. (They cover the Jimmy Choos, I cover the gruesome crime drama.)

Here’s one of the behind-the-scenes shots they didn’t use.

P.S. My webmaster has received a bunch of questions about Newsweek editions and passed them on to me. There are two: Newsweek US and Newsweek International. They are both in English. Newsweek US is sold in the United States. Newsweek International is sold outside the US. I have been writing for Newsweek International since 97 or 98. The Kinatay piece appears in Newsweek International, but it may also be in the US edition. Yes, the Philippines does get covered in US and International publications, though not as often as we would like.

Reminds me of a conversation I’ve had more times than I care to remember.

Condescending snoot: So you’re a writer. Where can I see your writing?

Me: National Bookstore. Philippine Star. Blog. Newsweek a couple of times a year.

Condescending snoot: Oh you write for Newsweek? As in Newsweek Newsweek?

Me: Hinde, yung Newsweek diyan sa kanto. (No, the Newsweek down the street.)

Condescending snoot: Does not get it.

My cats have wrecked all my luggage so I borrowed Leo’s valise for my trip.

Mat is humongous and he looks petite next to it.

I think this bag was designed to carry swords, shields, halberds and the occasional wild boar.

Leo bought it at a stall in the market. You know the part in Hannibal where Lecter cuts a pickpocket? That market.

Off to Singapore. Later.

1245h. Ano baaa, walang tubig sa business class lounge sa NAIA, may balde. Naningil pa sila ng airport tax tapos tabo method haha.

Since we started this book giveaway, one out of five winners has claimed her/his free book. This week’s freebies:

Then We Came To The End by Joshua Ferris – cough syrup junkie
The Good People of New York by Thisbe Nissen – ronaldcs
6.99 by Frederic Beigbeder – screwtape
Emily the Strange – kurt
Dirt Music – Jara

These winners have exactly seven days, from Tuesday, June 16 to Monday, June 22, to pick up their prizes/have their prizes picked up at Wild Ginger, the Asian restaurant at the basement of Power Plant Mall in Rockwell. Any time from 11 am to 8 pm will be fine; look for Nida or Marge.

If the winners do not pick up their books, we’ll assign them to the next entries in the queue, and so on until we run out of books.

The biannual shearing of the locks at Propaganda. Growth must be controlled before it achieves infinite density.

I was so pleased at the result, I took a picture of myself wearing my new glasses. Remember that horror movie Jacob’s Ladder? Isn’t this what Tim Robbins saw?

Shot my friends wearing the glasses.

Here is Leo’s last photo before he got his Manchu haircut. He’s always wanted a hairstyle out of a King Hu kung fu epic.

Then I started accosting people and asking them to pose with the glasses. You’d be surprised at how many random strangers respond to, “Hi, could you put on these glasses for a photograph?” There was a Brazilian-Japanese model waiting to get a haircut and he seemed happy to comply with our strange request. He said his name was Daniel Kenji Matsunaga. Soon to appear in ads.

Check out this week’s Newsweek, appearing on stands today. I have an article on Kinatay and our national insecurity.