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19 Responses to “ What would Lolo Pepe say? ”

1. # 1 dantedperez Says:
   August 21st, 2009 at 11:48

   EXCERPT OF SPEECH DELIVERED IN THE PHIL E-LEARNING SOCIETY CONFAB:

   I am here today to re-iterate that the illustrious days are over. The youth are jumpy about getting glorious gigabytes not reengineering the government. Our talents are hitting the consoles in Ortigas like its manna from heaven. Before I proceed, I hope you have downloaded the youtube file of El Fil 2.0.

   A week ago I was consulted by the president over a humble dinner in Madrid on matters of online education. My proposition is simple – teach the people at home first then let them decide whether they like to get PhD in Webcam Design. I still believe in the instructive capacity of parents and I will continue to advocate good education.

   Education in whatever form – online or on site – is a good emancipator. I am sad we really don’t get this simple point. Today we have presidentiables campaigning online. We find it high tech. I find it very TMI on two counts though – too much information and too much iodine-deficiency.

2. # 2 Roy Says:
   August 21st, 2009 at 14:01

   Hi i’m roy i made an entry:
   ———————————

   Hello listener my name is Pepe. If you don’t know me then you can flog your lepper ass into the sea to drown in shame. Why? Because i saved your granpa’s ass. And that makes you an ungrateful little boot. Saved from what, you say? From the spanish conquerors, you moron. What are they teaching in school these days? Now you will give me a bunch of cliche excuses which i have neither the time or the INTEREST to listen to. So shut your mouth and listen to what I am going to say.

   You are probably wondering how i came to be here. I will allow you the benefit of doubt. I’m not explaining MirstÄ«gs DomstarpÄ«bas. Is that your jaw falling like a sorry guillotine? MirstÄ«gs DomstarpÄ«basis is Temporal Rifts in Latvian. I googled it. The internet is not just for copying and pasting assignments you know. And not just for stealing other people’s work and claiming them as your own! лења копилад! No i will not be talking about this country. I was given a day away from non-existence to write an essay… Why would *I* waste it on talking about something that everybody already knows? Things are falling apart, maraming mahirap, not to mention the patong-patong na utang ng gobyerno and the trivialities that encumber the media. Watch some TV it’s all there. But if you have some time to kill, why waste it on watching the news? I’d rather be immersed in some MMORPG.

   I was given a limit of five hundred words. Since i am inside a person who’s computer, despite it’s quadcore and 3 gigabytes of memory which means it is one bad-ass machine as far as PC’s go, it has no Microsoft Word installed. So i have no way of counting these words automatically and this body is as lazy as those Kura Parokos back in my day. So to appear observant i am going to list down the things scattered on this desk.

   – Four empty Marlboro fucking packs.
   – A yellow lighter with a pink “pony tail.”
   – A paper with some asshole’s e-mail written on it.
   – Some ash that scream, “Slob!”.
   – A few coins. Most of them shiny like some some pervert’s lubed dick.
   – A novelty item: “Portable Ashtray”, looks like a dildo keychain.
   – A screw. That’s relatively fucked up.
   – A water hoop from a cold glass already taken somewhere else. It’s a filler, afterall so take your criticism where the butts are spread.

   No, i am not upset. I am not neurotic either. Eloquence is a thing of the past. Without this assertive act (which had been pathétique as this pretentious asshol who’s body i’ve currently posessed whispers at the back of his putrid brain) you would not have been coerced into sitting down and listening to my rant. From the start of this essay, I did not want to teach you anything. You are of your own substance no matter how much you’d been dilluted with the various bullshit that floats in this sea of, sea of… er, sea of… Screw that, I can’t believe this person’s immense lack of talent. What I’m trying to say is, the old traditions are dead and it’s up to you to use whatever that you have for whatever it is that you deem important. The world is changing and so must we. You may say that it is a shame to hear these things from your national hero but hadn’t our seas been doused by different perverts through out history? Therefore, only a few remains pure, mostly they are people who had lived for almost a hundred years already and grim as it may sound they do not have much long to be here on earth so tradition will soon be wiped out. So do not drown in the hypocrisy that is common to a lot of filipinos today. And where does that leave the purists? Under water i suppose. So the choice is yours, do you have the balls to live underwater and learn the powers of the sea and cause a deluge to drown all evil? Or would you rather stay on land and live independently to battle your own problems and develop a decent life for your own good? Or would you rather join the party and break the rules and go to hell (mwahaha)? Or would you rather remember Ninoy and google what he’s done for you? The choice is yours. My advice is, make good use of your time.

   Now I still have a few minutes left, i think i’ll grab something to eat. How do a few handfuls of french fries into this kid’s body measure up to a hundred years of liberation caused by yours truly? Well he’s on a diet but I’m sure he wouldn’t mind. I would be more than glad to see your dignity still intact when we exchange high fives in non-existence, yeah listener, till then.

3. # 3 paopao Says:
   August 21st, 2009 at 22:51

   Lolo Pepe’s resignation.

   Though I am flattered that my countrymen would see me as a hero, never once did I feel like one. I never did anything because it would get me recognition. Everything I have done, was because I believed that despite all of this country’s flaws, we had promise. We still do. But now I realize that I fell in love with the idea of this country. How can I not? It was and is such a beautiful idea. But more than a hundred years since, an idea it still remains. I remember pragmatically predicting, that a hundred years after our independence from Spain, we would still remain impoverished. I wrote this out of fear, thinking that providing some foresight, might cause our people to make sure that the prediction never became true. That as a people united we will say with one voice: Enough of this poverty and injustice!

   But we did not. If anything the message you gave me is clear, that you have no problems about how things are today. Why else after removing a family of tyrants from power, a family who plundered your future, and murdered your own, you would welcome them back, and return them to positions of authority. Why then would you choose a philandering leader who gambles using public funds, and pickles his body with alcohol? I guess it is not that you like the odor of corruption and moral degradation wafting around in our air, you’ve just grown accustomed to it.

   I doubt I ever will.

   A hundred years ago, I was able to figure out the source of our nation’s problems: the backward clergy, the corrupt politicians, the imperialistic elite families. It was just a simple matter of excising these unwanted tumors, instead you waited until they plasticized like cancer. Now they are stronger than ever, and have already hijacked your democracy. What I don’t understand is why you don’t do anything, or when you do successfully remove them, you hand the power right back to them. I and so many others, paid the ultimate price, because we had faith in your ability to make the right choices. But you as a nation chose the wrong choices, not just once, but again and again over the course of a century.

   Sorry, but I’m through. Please consider this as my two weeks notice, I am officially retiring from being your hero, my country. You do not treat your heroes well. Were our lives so worthless that you thought it alright as to choose decisions that would lead to obvious failure? Did you choose this future because you wanted to spite us, to show us that you don’t care?

   So many of us believed back then, that Filipinos will find themselves in struggle, instead you found yourselves lacking. I have given everything, and while I would like to help today, I find that I have nothing left to sacrifice. God watch over your endeavors, for I no longer will.

   Thank you and goodbye.

4. # 4 impressionable19 Says:
   August 21st, 2009 at 23:18

   Someone shoot me—again.

5. # 5 bigbrotheriswatchingyou Says:
   August 22nd, 2009 at 01:43

   i’m not really joining. i just want to commend paopao’s entry. very impressive!

6. # 6 Franzi Says:
   August 22nd, 2009 at 02:51

   My dearest countrymen,
   Many years ago, I left our beloved Motherland to pursue my studies in Europe,as my brother Paciano and I agreed upon. Mi unico hermano believed that it is to my best interest that I get my education there,where the atmosphere is more conducive to higher learning. I spent four years in the Central University of Madrid where I worked for my degree in opthalmology,under the guidance of the best teachers and doctors. Consequently I also pursued many other activities that I believe would further improve and enhance my talents and personality. I met many other Filipino students who were like me,sent there by their parents for their education.
   Amigos,I left our dear Filipinas with much trepidation and reluctance,if only because I never wanted to leave my parents who were getting advanced in years. I owe them much gratitude for giving me the education that opened my eyes. In fact I shall never stop thanking them for bringing me forth into this world.
   I am a romantic person,in the sense that I love old things and places–I went to Rome and toured the ruins of the Colloseum and the Forum. My companion complained that his feet were killing him from our constant walking so I proceeded with the tour alone. Standing in the magnificence long gone, I imagine the gladiators going at each other with their swords and their spears–while their deranged Emperor watched the carnage from the comfort of his viewing deck. I can almost hear the roar of the African lions in the lower dungeons as they await their turn to be unleashed into the arena,hungry for human flesh and the aroma of fresh blood. Here I came to realize that our beloved Filipinas has been thrust into the arena to fight for its survival-or be devoured alive.
   It’s true, I am well-travelled,but I find solace in the comfort of familiar things. I yearn for the cool clear air of my beloved house in Calamba. Call me old-fashioned or sentimental–I think Americans are progressive but I find trouble with their arrogance and their belief that they are the world’s messiah–how often they have acted as the world’s bully and who can deny that? Name one major war in our history where they were not involved directly or indirectly. They have elected the first Black president,with the hope that he will do everything to justify their credo that theirs is “the land of the free and the home of the brave”. Perhaps their arrogance lies in the knowledge that they dictate the fate of the rest of the world? They suffer their worst recession since 1929 and the rest of the world follows,even the countries where they have no direct dealings with in whatever way.
   Though I love old things and places, I cannot help but be impressed by progress right here in our Motherland. I see towering buildings,bridges,and all new forms of human transportation. I recall I had a good horse when I was a young man. I rode it to bid farewell to a beautiful girl who was aboard a steam train. I saluted her, she waved her handkerchief as she passed, but I never saw her again. Back then all we ever worried about was when our horses needed new shoes or food, or when the next ferry boat,steamship or train would arrive. Now all forms of “horseless” transportation is available,and the horses are gone,except on our cowboy movies in modern “moving pictures”. I can’t breathe without coughing or covering my nose. The smoke from the vehicles will kill us someday–how I wish that the Spaniards have executed me by firing squad instead! What could be more tragic than a tuberculoid old Indio, a has-been nationalist labeled as “irrelevant” by today’s youth,who have read only the “comic book” versions of my life’s work because they are too lazy to read the actual novels?
   Ah,my novels. I read the newspapers and I see many Ben Zaybs rushing to beat their deadlines. The Ben Zaybs are on the television,too. I see the religious Fray Damasos still dictate the affairs of the State. Dona Victorina is in Malacanang,only she is tiny! What we really need to lead us is a combination of Sr. Ibarra, Old man Tasio, and a little of P.Florentino. Too many Sisas,Eliases and Basilios are still with us,still crying for justice. We need to put our hope on Basilio. We buried a good and just female leader a few weeks ago,one who never wanted power or wealth, only to ensure that we remain free after 20 years in the dungeons of the tyrant Ilocano.
   Her husband, a true Sr. Ibarra to the letter,a dreamer of impossible dreams,a Don Quixote,gave his life to that cause.He was the best our youth could ever hope to be. I write to you now because I can,owing it to the freedom we regained after we escorted this great man to his resting place many years ago. His wife’s recent funeral was equally spectacular.
   Our nation is right in mourning them both.
   Our Motherland is Maria Clara. So beautiful,so fragile. When the time comes I shall rest in the comfort of her bosom. Bury me in the earth, put my name,the date of my birth and that of my death. No anniversaries.
   Jose Rizal.

7. # 7 kewlnbubblee Says:
   August 22nd, 2009 at 07:18

   Waaaahhh I missed this contest! Waahhhh!!!

8. # 8 sugarcages Says:
   August 22nd, 2009 at 11:19

   Dear Countryman,

   First and foremost, I cannot believe that tuyo is 140 pesos per kilo now. That is huge amount of money in my day! You know me, I like living on a budget.

   What would I say about our country today? In viewing today’s society’s ills, I need to look no further than my own two novels. It seems to me that the circumstances are different, but the characters are the same. Sisa is the single mother call center agent who takes in all the unjust demands of the BPO industry to feed her children. The lack of sleep will hasten her madness. The friars have shed their habits and moved onto government. Basilio, by the grace of God, has still finished his studies but questions whether he should contribute to the betterment of the country or to move on to the seemingly greener pastures abroad. As for the rest, you’ve read the book (it’s required reading, so you have no excuse) so I need not go on and on about it. You will see the characters in the novels alive and well today.

   I also know better than to tell you what to think, because everyone is thinking of the same thing. Everyone knows what the problems are.

   My novels have been hearkened as the first work of literature that introduced a unified Filipino consciousness. If so, does this mean we are unified by our trials and misfortunes? Some would say so. It seems the same today. At the end of El Filibusterismo, Ibarra dies, the jewels are lost, the revolution aborted. If not for Father Florentino’s last words, the novel would have ended in a note of anguish and despair.

   You may think that in my viewing of the country today, I would feel despair too. I know despair all too well. But despair is easy and comfortable, and I do like making things uncomfortable, myself.

   No, I do not despair. Yes, despite the seemingly endless repetition of problems in society today.

   As much as there is much to be criticized, I would not deprive the Filipino his credit where credit is due. I have been astounded and humbled by the leaps and bounds our people has taken to free themselves. They have proven that a peaceful revolution is possible. Today, I only see the Spanish in telenovelas. Masses are said in our native language. People can vote for their leaders. Women can work. There is free speech. Things that you take for granted today used to be an unimaginable possibility back then.

   That is not to say that there isn’t more to be done. There are still shackles today, and they are made more cleverly in the webs of economics and politics. Our own countrymen and leaders have turned traitor on us, and they are all closing in on us.

   Countrymen, we must be vigilant. We must not succumb to despair. We must not give up the ghost. If it is our country’s destiny to be shaped by hardship and struggle, so be it! History and my own experience has show me that the Filipino can rise up to the challenge. I would do no disservice to my country by claiming otherwise. I did not die by writing falsehood, I died by telling the truth. The Filipino’s spirit may be dampened, but it will never go out. It was not extinguished by the Spaniards, by our country’s failures in the past, and it will not go out today. Filipino, you have humbled me by accomplishing the seemingly impossible and have worked for the greater good: You can do it again.

9. # 9 freelancerautumn Says:
   August 22nd, 2009 at 14:10

   Was supposed to go to Quiapo, but couldn’t get through Sta. Mesa because of the public swimming pool that appeared everytime there is a little drizzle of rain. On the way back, I was bombarded with the present reality: uneducated, unguided youth; tax-evading businesses; and slum areas that looked like garbage mountains from afar (like nightmare up close). The Social Cancer all over again. The difference? Spaniards had nothing to do with it, for you did it to yourselves.

   Just a couple of weeks ago, I had seen how you can be united. But should someone die for you to become one? Congratulations, you’ve come a long way in terms of your ways of life, but look at the cost. And I understand you, I really do. I know you don’t have anything at your table, and I also experienced that. When I just finished Noli, I almost threw it into the fire because I didn’t have any money to publish it. I ate just once a day, mostly bread and coffee, not unlike the kaninbaw you’re eating right now.

   What everyone needs in these times of turmoil are the Maximo Violas of the world to give hope to people. But all will be waiting, and no one will become one. You see the problem?

   The Filipinos will always be colonized: by Padre Damaso, by Americans, by commercialism, by pornography, by politicians, by selfish dreams. The situation and actors wil vary, but the play will remain the same.

   So now what? The answer is simple. Start small. Dream. Make a difference. Register. Vote. Know your rights. Exercise your rights. Better yet, join The Good Ideas. Because when people think of better ways to improve our beautiful country, I will always be there. I am willing to die a million times for you, so I’ll see you on Whitespace.

   **
   P earl of the Orient, oh my grace-filled and exquisite home
   I will forever live in your sweet promise of peace
   N ay, no one can replace you in my heart until my life will cease
   O nly you will be flourishing in this majestic throne
   Y earning will I always be for your freedom until I receive Death’s kiss.

10. # 10 mak Says:
    August 23rd, 2009 at 12:37

    Hi! This Is my entry.

    http://makdleech.wordpress.com/2009/08/23/rizals-diary/

11. # 11 Franzi Says:
    August 24th, 2009 at 04:16

    My countrymen,
    Let me hear that you are all happy,self content and in excellent health;but I know your leaders cannot steer you in the right path; I know that there are now so many of you–in my days our population numbered perhaps three to five million–now I see you are more than 90 million. I think I know the source of all your present troubles. I am saddened that the Friars of my days are still lording it over the society,telling the leaders what to do or not to do; remember my words in the Noli: “fat hen and ladies fair are priestly fare.” Now I see the fare also includes young sacristans. Tell me that you are all free from oppression,either foreign or domestic, and that your sons are not enchained in the dungeons of human misery and poverty; but I know many of them are in drug rehab centers,or out drinking to death; I want to hear that your daughters are not being sold as commodity in the flesh trade,nor being kept as mistresses in some brothel. It breaks my heart that many of them are abroad, not studying but working,leaving behind their families,because their leaders cannot provide jobs and livelihood for them here. I trust that your young ones are in school,learning everything there is to know;what can their teachers teach them nowadays,when they share books inside dilapidated classrooms in flooded public schools? Still I see many of them out in the streets sniffing plastic varnish or begging from passing cars; the older ones,perhaps the age of boys I taught in Dapitan are out writing unscrutable words in public walls,carrying improvised pistols; Dear countrymen,where have your present leaders taken you? As it was in my days,so it is in your present time–you take five steps forward and take ten steps backward. I see the social cancer of my days have remained,still growing,still spreading throughout your society; they who have found and suggested a cure have come and gone,and for a brief shining moment,there is glory; but the cancer stays; the patient is perhaps uncooperative or so unwilling to be cured that he is resigned to wait out the days of his demise? Perhaps he has found comfort in his sickbed that he refuses to be better? My mother told me:do not be the moth that flew too close to the flame; I tell you now,let the flame burn inside of you;keep constant watch of your leaders–you will decide the rise and fall of this nation by choosing them well; continue to search a cure for this malaise,this untouchable wound afflicting our beloved nation. Never forget the plight of the afflicted,the persecuted Elias and Sisa–they are our brothers and sisters. Their wounds are yours and mine.
    J.Rizal

12. # 12 capitanmontressor Says:
    August 24th, 2009 at 12:59

    Talk about epic fail. I really wanted to help but it seems like they don’t want to be helped. What gives? Argh. Seriously. Maybe I should start a band or something. Yeah, that’d get their attention. But not that emo rubbish, no… always liked to try that whole metal thing. That’d be awesome. I’d call us Filibusteros! Yeah! I’d be, like, the quiet pretty boy guitarist. Chicks dig the quiet ones. Or probably do one of those viral animation videos. That ought to get me some reach… kids these days… but hey I know how they feel. Went to the same crap, myself. Wow. A hundred-plus years hence, buncha revolutions, 2 more colonialists, and the schools still suck. I wrote a whole bit about that, too, remember? Guess the same schools took it the other way and told ’em “This is how *THEY* were back in the day, aren’t we awesome?”. I say “Noooo, *YOU* haven’t changed at all, biatch!”

    Heh.

    The youth. I think us old timers owe ’em an apology. Sorry, kids.

    Oh and hey, here’s what I think about our national situation right now: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oHg5SJYRHA0

    That’s all, folks! Doctor J out!

13. # 13 jycsufi Says:
    August 25th, 2009 at 10:27

    How did the Philippines end up being like this? I know it’s certainly not the end but it somehow feels that way… The Filipinos, a century hence, have become their own tyrants, their own oppressors. What could be worse than that? At least in my time the enemy had a face which wasn’t our own. I guess I hit it right with these lines in El Fili: “As long as the Filipino people have not enough spirit to proclaim, brow held high, and breast bared, their right to a free society, and to maintain it with their sacrifices, with their very blood; as long as we see our country men privately ashamed , hearing the cries of the revolted, and protesting in conscience but silent in public, or joining the oppressor in mocking the oppressed; as long as we see them wrapping themselves up in their selfishness and praising the most iniquitous acts with forced smiles, begging with their eyes for a share of the booty, why give them freedom?”

    We keep blaming everyone, except ourselves. Until we as a people become deserving of a country that we envision, until we genuinely stake our future in this country and not anywhere else, we will continue to live with our self-inflicted malaise. It really is simple, if only you took to heart my essays a century ago… The true revolution can only happen within. A Filipino’s life must be about the pursuit of excellence in whatever field, about dignity and nobility. Mediocrity, shallowness and greed must not have a place in our life…If we can have every Filipino subscribe to this, we can be the people this country has been waiting for.

    I hope when you celebrate my martyrdom, you remember that more than fighting foreign oppression, I was really laying down the template of a life worthy to be called a Filipino. Be a Filipino.

14. # 14 tlpnds Says:
    August 27th, 2009 at 11:44

    My fellow countrymen, again and again you make me proud to be a Filipino.  Many times we have fought for our freedom with nobility and sincerity.  Our former Spaniard colonizers were just the tip of the iceberg; later on, we fought for our own sovereignty with our American–ahem–friends, and then we fought the Japanese for it in World War II; and then much much later on, we stood up against a fellow Filipino who should have been a promising President but ended up being an egomaniacal dictator who put the country to ruin.  And then, only recently, we defended our freedom one more time and overthrew yet another President who turned out to be engaged in the most distasteful criminality.  Yes, we fight for freedom–or what modern political reality designates as “democracy”, if you may–and we are repeatedly victorious in doing so.  That’s something that I will always be proud of.

    However, it might have escaped most of us Filipinos that being a “free” and “democratic” people is in itself merely a Beginning. Freedom undeniably plays a big role in defining ourselves as a Nation, but what is this so-called “democracy” without a Destiny in mind? Oh yes, we can talk endlessly amongst ourselves about how liberty is still the best virtue in a country, but this liberty should be…for what end?

    Better education for our people has always been what I’ve been pushing for. And why not? The whole Community of Nations can be compared to a big, vast classroom. Each country can be thought of as one student. And of course we know who the top students, the sobresalientes, of this Classroom of the World are. Where once they were called Great Nations, now they are designated as the First World Countries—nations which excel in industry and commerce, modern innovations and technology, both pure and applied sciences, even in athletics and military defense capabilities, just to name a few. More importantly, these First World Countries, or top students, shall we say, are able to give the best quality of life to their peoples. Sadly, if we are to think of the Philippines a student, we have always been ranked among the “mediocre” majority in a Classroom of the World.

    This would be quite incongruous with the way we yearn for our own children to excel in their studies—to strive to be at the top rank. Why shouldn’t a Whole Nation be motivated with the same vigour to excel within the world community?

    I have always written about the Great Nations around the world that I personally visited in countless journeys and sojourns. I have always longed to see the same operating principles that made them Great right here in our Motherland, to be experienced by all Filipinos. Yes, we Filipinos will fight for our freedoms, but we must also equally fight for a Destiny.

15. # 15 Arthur Francis Piccio Says:
    August 28th, 2009 at 11:35

    Truly, I did not dream for an independent Filipinas to turn out this way. In fact, never had I dreamed that La Filpinas would become independent in the lifetimes of many of my peers. Representation in the Cortes was what I had fought for but in the end what we have accomplished as a country was very different.

    Where do you start when you have so much to say? After centuries of tyranny from without, we have managed to allow it to be replaced with tyranny from within. Oppression has and still takes many forms- a lot of them unchanged since my day. The illustrados of my generation, as is the middle class of today, were and are mostly scornful of the masses that have made their comfort and positions in life possible, though not as openly perhaps in these days. What else you one expect when it is considered an insult for one of the middle or upper classes to be compared with a maid or a driver? Even with all the modern conveniences that are now available to us, things have not really changed.

    It is distressing how we are still stuck to outward appearances. Many would still rather be (or rather marry) white, than yellow, or brown. We no longer have the ability to understand subtext and satire, even while we are vicious at picking out typographical and grammatical errors online. It is unfortunate, as I liked the sort of humor that relied on satire and wordplay. How ill-fated Chip Tsao was to find himself in the middle of a barrage of arrows shot by the very people he was trying to point out (unfortunately only through implication, which few of us understand these days) were the equals, and not the inferiors of his countrymen?

    Another point. Since I was shot at Bagumbayan, the education has had highs and lows. It is clearly in a rut. To see our motorists and pedestrians, is to lose your faith in their ability to comprehend simple road signs. Perhaps it is too much to expect they understand things that provoke thought or satire. What a pity that millions of young minds that could help this nation take its place in the world are being rotted by noontime variety shows and by a diploma mill instructional system.

    While I had many enemies, I was not exactly popular with my peers. Lord knows that many of my so-called friends in Madrid thought me haughty. It surprises me that I am now considered to be the greatest hero our country has produced, even while some say it was only the Americans who have afforded me that status to achieve some colonial gain. I do not know. I never did set out to please anyone. I never did set out to be popular. All I ever did was to do what I thought was right. And what they did to me then, they will still do to anyone who tries what I did now.

16. # 16 william_tan_see Says:
    August 28th, 2009 at 18:39

    Magandang araw, I am Dr. Jose Rizal Mercado from 1896, join me in my adventures when I visit my alma mater “The” Ateneo Municipal de Manila. I don’t know if the kutsero was trying to get me lost but I ended up in this place called “The” Robinsons’ Place Manila. I almost soiled my trousers when I was greeted by this guardia civil; he was equipped with a wooden stick, which, I overheard, can detect weapons of mass destruction even from afar. The once campus grounds I had my Bachelor of Arts degree in still has several educational institutions inside, STI College, AMA Computer Learning Center and Timezone, which surpassed the former two in terms of student population. I felt awkward when people kept staring at me as if I am a dirty old man so I hurriedly entered a salon for a makeover. I am well-versed in at least 10 languages but I find it difficult to understand the terms thrown around by my gorgeous stylist like chuvachuchu, chukchakchenes, and other words I cannot even spell out. She seems be turned on by my wordplay but I find her weird; although she had an ample bosom in that nipple-hugging sando, her voice was deep and she had quite a few traces of bigote above her lips plus her “selpown” in the crotch area kept bumping into my shoulders. Her assistant handed glossy publications to me but my eyes were glued to a specific book having a certain Mommy Dionisia on the cover, the author kept mentioning her as the mother of the National Fist. I am throwing a protest; first, the national fist is in the possession of the National Hero, what they taught me in University of Santo Tomas was all I had to do is clench my fingers. Also, my Mommy Teodora deserves a cover issue of her own; her Pandanggo sa Ilaw should trump Ginang Pacquiao’s ballroom dancing convincingly. My stylist described my hair style as katsupoy and very 90’s, which to me is 1890’s. She suggested an international look, a well-travelled man like me was exposed to different cultures and hairstyles a lot but this South Korean hairstyle might get me arrested again, this time for possession of deadly, makalaglag-salawal looks. Guess what I came across to? K.K.K. I salute you Gat Andres, you did it; I remembered we were debating about a millennium ago whether you should do it or not. Your crispy pata is still as good as ever; luckily, you hid that recipe far from the plundering hands of the Spaniards. Another familiar taste from 1890 was San Miguel Beer; it has been more than a hundred years of funnier jokes and better-looking body-fluid trading partners and I am glad they stood the test of time. I am very much exhausted from the information and gastronomic overload; hence, I will heed the call for a nasty toilet revolution. Excuse me for the rest of the day and please do join me again tomorrow when I journey into this cool park along Roxas Boulevard.

17. # 17 jaybee Says:
    August 29th, 2009 at 22:30

    Hello. This is my entry.

    The link is: http://italy-jb02.blog.friendster.com/2009/08/the-preacher-in-me/

    Thanks!

18. # 18 mothproof Says:
    August 30th, 2009 at 20:51

    The show we are watching, I am told, is called Wowowee. The man beside me says the host has been suspended because his mouth ran out of brake fluid, but it’s okay because it’s Luningning he is after anyway. He says her name carefully, then bursts into a crunchy laugh. He tells me he’s been meaning to get in the show for years now. That he’ll be happy to go home with just 1,000 Pesos, or even less. Or if not, at least take Luningning home.

    The most interesting thing about being whisked to the future is the food. We are eating on the side of this street named Hidalgo, our backs exposed to passersby while we diners face the array of available dishes behind the glass. This is my sixth day in the future and so far I know words like echos, bad trip, and pork barrel. I have been subsisting on one meal a day, which isn’t new to me, but today is my first time to ask for tinola, hoping that after all these years people still make it.

    The lady said not today. So I just settle for lumpia.

    On TV Luningning dances wildly, like someone possessed, and the audience applauds. I’m thinking the Maria Claras of today are breezier, not much clothes to lug around, not much to wash after. They move more freely, and seem in control. No one can tell them to beat it. But after the show men still think they are purchases or stray kittens to bring home with them.

    It seems everyone has pegged their hopes on TV game shows. Before it was just small stakes, on the perya, with just a few of your hard-earned coins with your friends. You had fun then. Now, everyone is screaming their glutathione-whitened heads off, and the next thing you know the game show host himself has replaced your 1 with a zero. Now, it’s Filipinos cheating their fellow countrymen.

    The man who is in love with Luningning eyes my suit for the third time, tells me it’s a good-looking coat, with a smile. He then proceeds to slurp his soup, gobbles more of his rice and fried fish, then drinks his water. Again with a smile. Everything he does is easy and enjoyable that I begin to feel stuffy in my good-looking suit. He himself is just in a maroon camiseta with Jesus Christ’s face painted on, blue pants, and slippers.

    “These days you’re lucky if you can pick up a peso off the street”, the man says, then gets up and leaves.

    My face is all over those 1-Peso coins and I’m having a hard time figuring out if it’s a compliment that all my face can buy is a piece of candy, or a Stik-O—kid fare. The kids of the land have good eye-and-hand coordination these days. They know the terrain of their online games better than their own homes. There’s Google for all the answers they don’t know. Everything has been laid out for them. And yet they still find it hard to stay with a book to its very end.

    Earlier someone had sold me pictures of naked women and men who I didn’t know at all. Something tells me they will do more than just pose in paper. They will move, grind, and be raw. There is no love to speak of. Only one-night stands and casual sex and casualties of the mind. When they bloom into a baby, there’s always a bottled potion for you to drink, sold right by the church. People in the raw, skinning themselves alive.

    I’ve learned that the President is a woman. Good. Someone to lead the nation with a mother’s heart. But I also learn about Hello Garci, and abbreviations like ZTE-NBN and news of her multi-million dinner in New York with friends. At Kapitan Tiago’s house, the tinola I prepared was delicious, a sincere enough welcome dinner for Ibarra. This is the age where people think it is undignified to eat in an ordinary restaurant but find no qualms using the public’s fund.

    At Dapitan I discovered and named a peculiar species of frog. Now they tell me about a new species, one with the ability to lie through its teeth. Echoserang frog, it’s called.

    “How do I get to Bagumbayan?” I ask the lady as I hand her my money.

    “This isn’t enough,” she snarls, “You and your friend ordered much more than this!”

    It’s almost nightfall and I’m tired.

19. # 19 betson Says:
    August 31st, 2009 at 00:11

    Mahal Kong Betson,

    Nawa’y nasa maayos kang kalagayan pagtanggap mo ng aking liham.

    Hindi kita masisisi kung ika’y nawawalan na ng pag-asa dahil sa lumalalang estado ng pinakamamahal nating Pilipinas. Subali’t di mo maitatauwa na ang kasarinlang ipinaglaban ng ating mga bayani noong nakaraang mga himagsikan at demokrasyang tinatamasa natin ngayon na buong pusong ipinagbuwis ng buhay ni Ninoy ay di matatawaran ninuman. Pakaisipin mo sanang sila na hindi nakatamo ng kanilang mga hangarin ay hindi nawalan ng pag-asa hanggang sa huli.

    Hindi pa hinihingi sa iyo ng pagkakataon na magpakabayani. Ang pagiging isang mabuting mamamayan ay malaking tulong na sa ikawawasto ng ating bayan. Nabanggit mong palagi kang bumoboto pag may pagkakataon. Sa susunod na taon ay botohan na naman. Pumili ka ng mga kandidatong sa iyong palagay ay nararapat dahil sa kanilang angking kakayahan at malasakit sa bayan. At kung may makita kang kalabisan tulad ng nangyari sa huling pagbisita ng pangulo sa Amerika’y huwag mong sarilinin.

    May mga bagay na kahit pansarili ang maari ring makatulong. Pagbutihin mo ang paggawa ng iyong tungkulin sa trabaho. Isaalang-alang mo ang ikabubuti ng mas nakararami kahit na kinakailangan ikaw ang magparaya. Ipagdasal mong lagi tayong gabayan sa pang-araw-araw nating pamumuhay. At iba pang mga bagay tulad ng di pagkakalat sa daan at pagsunod sa batas trapiko na maliliit man kung ituring ay nakakatulong ding maisayos ang kapaligiran.

    Matanda ka na Betson, ngunit kinailangan ko pang ipaalala sa iyo ang mga ito dahil nakakalimot ka na. Mag-umpisa ka sa sarili, sa maliliit na bagay. Ituwid mo ang iyong landasin bago ka maghangad ng isang maganda at maunlad na Pilipinas.

    Lubos na sumasaiyo,

    Lolo Pepe

    p.s.

    Magaling bang Darna si Marian? Di ko nagustuhan ang pagganap ni Angel, e.