JessicaRulestheUniverse.com

This cat was sitting near the corner of Roxas Boulevard and Quirino Avenue during President Cory Aquino’s funeral procession last Wednesday, August 5, 2009. Photograph by Ige Ramos.

A large part of the problem is that we know what we don’t want, but we don’t know what we want. We will protest against something and demand its removal, but we aren’t sure what to replace it with. We desire real change, it’s the particulars that elude us.

What we need are Good Ideas.

Do you have a useful, workable idea that would benefit large numbers of Filipinos? It could have something to do with Politics and Government, or Traffic Management, or The Environment, or Science and Technology, or Arts and Culture. Anything. If it’s a sound idea, we will help you pitch it to the people who might be able to make it happen. At the very least, we will give your good idea a good airing.

Post your Good Idea here. If it’s someone else’s idea, don’t forget to credit the originator. We like to think of ourselves as intelligent people; there must be something useful we can do to fix this country. Start thinking.

* * * * *

Carlson says the Chinese newspapers carried this report. During the funeral march from Manila Cathedral to the memorial park, there was a crowd of people walking behind the truck bearing the casket. It was raining, so the people nearest the truck opened their umbrellas. But because of the umbrellas, the people in the back could not see the truck. So the people in front put down their umbrellas.

We can be considerate to each other.

Keep the good ideas coming.

With the death of director John Hughes our protracted adolescence is officially over.

We were discussing the John Hughes oeuvre, particularly Sixteen Candles (Essay question: Whatever happened to Michael Schoeffling?), Some Kind Of Wonderful, The Breakfast Club, and Pretty In Pink. “Which character are you in Sixteen Candles?” I asked Ernie.

“I am always Molly Ringwald,” he declared. “The misfit.”

“Correction,” I said. “She was the popular girl in The Breakfast Club.”

“You’re right,” Ernie said. “In Breakfast Club, I am Ally Sheedy. Which one are you?”

“Either Ally Sheedy or Judd Nelson because he was the angry one. Did you ever have a crush on the Estevez brothers?”

“Both. Charlie Sheen and Emilio Estevez.” We agreed that neither compares to their father Martin Sheen in Badlands by Terence Malick.

“Who are you in (the Ringwald-less) Some Kind of Wonderful?” I went on.

“Obviously, Mary Stuart Masterson the tomboy,” he said.

“Naah, Lea Thompson. She turned out to be nice. I’m Mary Stuart Masterson.”

“No,” Ernie corrected me. “You’re Eric Stoltz.”

“Dammit, why am I always the guy character? Why can’t I be the girl?”

“Who are you in Pretty In Pink?” Ernie asked.

“James Spader. Contrabida.”

FAQ: His character wears a super-suit. Does this mean Channing Tatum will be fully-dressed throughout the movie? A: Nope.

Our Low Expectations Movie of the Week: GI Joe: The Rise of Cobra.

The toys and merchandising tie-ins used to come after the movie, but now the movies are based on toys. This explains the depth of human emotion in recent movies like Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen and the current GI Joe: The Rise of Cobra.

These feature-length advertisements for toys feature villains intent on taking over the world using technology. The difference is that while we may have the capability at the present time to produce giant fighting robots that can transform into cars and trucks, why would we do that? However, there are limitless possibilities for nanotechnology, the super-weapon in GI Joe.. . .

Nano Nano in Emotional Weather Report, today in the Star (Gadgets section).

From the New York Post (You can stop sending this in, please).

Emily Postal says: A head of state is not expected to live like a pauper, even if the citizens foot the bill. The citizens would not want their official representative to look shabby. A celebratory dinner is perfectly alright, as long as it is not so extravagant that the natives of the host country, being in the midst of a crushing recession and somewhat aware of current events in the visitor’s state, find it necessary to remark on it.

Weird sculpture my sister and I saw on the castle grounds in Prague.

In a Straight Dope classic from 1984 someone asks: If everyone in China jumped off chairs at once, would the earth be thrown out of its orbit?

A variation on this question was posed in our high school physics class. We were studying momentum at the time. It went like this: The Chinese hatch a plan to dislodge Americans from the face of the earth. The antipode (the exact opposite on the globe) of China is the United States. At a given signal, everyone in China will jump a foot into the air. Will the impact upon their landing be sufficient to propel every American into space?

According to our teacher the answer is: No, the earth is too massive.

Most of you are probably too young to understand why Filipinos aged 35 and above are disconsolate at losing Tita Cory. To you the Edsa Revolution is a distant historical event, an item on an exam. To old people like me who were in college at the time it was the greatest thing that had ever happened, and the best part was that we were in it.

Our Better Selves in Emotional Weather Report in the Star.