Anatomy of a Newsflash, or Why I Don’t Need TV
Animal the drummer, from The Muppet Show.
18 October 2009 on PNN, the Psychotic News Network: The news, fast and unverified!
All conversation relayed by text unless indicated.
1209hrs. Bernard-Henri: Hold-up/robbery/shooting at Greenbelt 5 watch store. GB5 is now sealed off because of pursuit of suspects.
Source being reliable, I forward text to sister and friends likely to go to Greenbelt.
1211. Phone call from Grover: Are you shitting me? (Yes, incredible but true: first time in history I got news before Grover did.)
Every time I walk past that row of watch shops selling Patek Philippe, Panerai, Rolex, Breitling at Greenbelt 5, I wonder if there are other places in the world where you can stick your head out of a Patek store and see Jollibee.
1216. Bert: You’re there?
1217. Ernie: Election fund-raising na.
1226. Grover: From my source—A store hold-up, may napatay na robber bt nakatakas d rest. D ko pa alam wat store.
1228. Grover: Update—Rolex store, robbers in military uniform. Undr control na bt grabe talaga
1231. From a number I don’t recognize: Guys, dont go to greenbelt. There was an attempted robbery and a gunfight. We are stuck in the kitchen of cibo. Tell your friends and family.
1237. Bernard-Henri: When I had lunch in GB5 Friday, there was an hour long brownout because a Korean tenant jumped off a high rise onto some high-tension wires. Life in Makati is becoming more cinematic.
1315. Bernard-Henri: SWAT team killed one suspect in GB5 basement parking. Hope it was not a panicky chaffeur.
1315. Bernard-Henri: chauffeur
The verified report on gmanews.tv.
Answers to questions you might be asking, unless you wandered onto this site purely by accident >>>
October 18th, 2009 at 15:52
My buddy and I were all over in Glorietta but G5 when that happened. I kinda wish we dropped by to see the action. Haha.
October 18th, 2009 at 16:16
There was a brownout when I passed by GB5 last Friday, I noticed that only Rolex store removed their display and it was covered with a khaki colored cloth. Sabi ko sa sarili ko, “ay itinago ang mga display.” And now, this robbery happened.
October 20th, 2009 at 00:37
The noob that I am with directions. Maybe I’m dyslexic. It was Greenbelt 5, not Glorietta 5.
Let’s all pretend I didn’t make that previous comment, shall we? Thank you. Now I’m talking to myself.