JessicaRulestheUniverse.com

This weekend I had the opportunity to watch a master manipulator at the peak of her powers. The master: my niece Mika, who just turned three. Mika was named after the Formula One driver, so she might well have been called Schuey, Jensen, or Juan-Carlos. She is big for her age—she is often mistaken for a 5-year-old—and very independent. Not only is she proficient with spoon and fork at the table, but every morning she picks out her own clothes for the day. After she’s made her wardrobe choices, she decides what her mother—my sister Cookie—is going to wear to work.

If my sister declines the styling advice there is a huge scene. For Mika has a mutant superpower: a very loud, bloodcurdling shriek. It stops grownups in their tracks and sends cats running for cover. I suspect it can pierce metal and interfere with sonar devices. The minute I figure out how to weaponize it I’m calling NATO.

Impressive as this superpower is, it is not the main weapon in Mika’s arsenal. Her greatest ability is bending adults to her will.

Little Dictators in Emotional Weather Report, today in the Star.