JessicaRulestheUniverse.com

Make it circular.

Relief copy of a panel from Lorenzo Ghiberti’s The Gates of Paradise showing the story of Noah

Relic reveals Noah’s ark was circular

That they processed aboard the enormous floating wildlife collection two-by-two is well known. Less familiar, however, is the possibility that the animals Noah shepherded on to his ark then went round and round inside.

The now battered tablet, aged about 3,700 years, was found somewhere in the Middle East by Leonard Simmons, a largely self-educated Londoner who indulged his passion for history while serving in the RAF from 1945 to 1948 . . . in the Guardian.

Listen to Flood Tablet in BBC Radio 4’s A History of the World in 100 Objects.

Some local psychics insist that Noah’s Ark landed in the Philippines, specifically, Mount Arayat. “It’s the biblical Mount Ararat,” they says. Riiight.

Before we start the second round of LitWit Challenges, we have to give away this set of Alice In Wonderland book-boxes. (Here’s a previous post on the book-boxes.) The biggest book contains another book which contains another book which contains the smallest book, which contains a USB key which contains concept art and still photos from Tim Burton’s film adaptation of Lewis Carroll’s Alice In Wonderland. These book-boxes are not available in stores: If you want them, you’ll have to join this contest.

The set rightfully belongs to someone who’s read Lewis Carroll, so here’s the task: In 250 words, preferably less, give us the plots of Lewis Carroll’s books, Alice’s Adventures In Wonderland and Through The Looking Glass. (If that is too easy for you, then express these two books as a series of equations—Mr. Dodgson would like that.)

Post your answers in Comments. Entries will be accepted until February 28, 2010. The winner will be announced before Tim Burton’s Alice In Wonderland opens in Metro Manila and elsewhere on March 4, 2010. (Winner should be able to collect the prize from the Disney distributor’s office in Mandaluyong, Metro Manila.)

Now off with your heads! Always wanted to say that.

* * * * *

Tuesday, 1737. Tsk tsk tsk, 24 hours, only two entries. And we’re summarizing children’s books. Oh the humanity.

* * * *

Monday, 1 March 2010. WE HAVE A WINNER!

Many otherwise fine entries were disqualified for exceeding the 250-word limit or for being late, displeasing the White Rabbit. The winner is jaime. Congratulations!

You can claim your Alice in Wonderland box set on weekdays between 11am and 5pm at Columbia Pictures on the fifth floor of Shangri-La Plaza Mall, Edsa corner Shaw Boulevard, Mandaluyong. Look for Kat Colobong, marketing assistant for Walt Disney Studios.

Thanks to everyone who joined the contest. See you at the cinema for Alice in Wonderland, opening March 4.

Chus had to drop by the gallery to see his painting hanged so we tagged along.

Cubao always reminds me of the opening of school—my folks used to take me shopping for black school shoes at Gregg’s or Shoemart back when it was a shoe store and not the megamall chain. Shopping for shoes was always a fraught occasion because I never liked any of the shoes I tried on, my mother always lost her patience at me, my father lost his patience at both of us, and my parents carried on like characters in Russian novels while I watched them with entomological interest and thought, “I’ll never be an adult.” Cubao also meant the cinema (Before the age of the multiplex my parents used to take me to those standalone movie houses along Aurora Boulevard: Coronet, Remar, and Diamond), the Xmas display at C.O.D., the record stores near Rustan’s, and Fiesta Carnival with the train that went into the tunnel of horrors that scared no one.

All these places are gone. Now I associate Cubao with the first Bellini’s. When I first ate there it was literally a hole in the wall with plastic chairs; now it’s four times larger and movies have been shot there.

When we got to Sining Kamalig (Level 4 of the Gateway Mall, come to the opening reception tonight from 6 to 9), I was pleasantly surprised to find that Chus had painted my portrait.

The detail on the left is from the shower murder in Alfred Hitchcock’s Psycho.

Kris Soguilon painted this homage to Ishmael Bernal’s Himala.

On the way out we dropped by Fully Booked to see the most literary floor in town: The Prince is on the tiles. I wonder how Machiavelli would feel about people treading on his prose; then again he was Mr. The End Justifies The Means.

Afterwards I suggested a trip to Cubao X at the old Marikina Shoe Expo because I was under the impression that the vintage stores and art galleries stayed open till after midnight. I was wrong: the bars stay open till late, but everything else is closed except for the comic book and toy shop that sold

The Holy Grail!

The other open store had vintage furniture, chandeliers that remind me of the unfinished Death Star,

and these brilliant earrings.

My other mistake was thinking that stuff in Cubao X would be cheap. Ha! Ha! Ha!

Yet another book holder. I like this one better: the pages don’t get creased, and you can turn the page without much fuss.

Found in National Bookstore, P291.50. It should come in handy if you’re doing a Cormac McCarthy marathon.

The collected McCarthy with new cover designs at Fully Booked.

I pass for now; Cormac McCarthy makes me feel like shooting people to spare them from this mortal coil (Sentence expanded; there are literalists amongst us).

The Weekly LitWit Challenge returns tomorrow!

Powder, a short story by Tobias Wolff

Click on the photo to read the complete story.

This one is a killer by one of the masters of the short story. Its narrator is a boy who’s gone skiing with his estranged father. You know immediately why his parents have split up—the father is the fun, irresponsible sort who’s always screwing up. The father is the child, the boy the adult who worries about stuff like getting home on time. You know, too, that the boy thinks his father is cool but also suspects he’s a loser. The short sentences are as stark as the landscape they find themselves marooned in, and Wolff’s prose so accurate it’s like open-heart surgery. Powder is sad but also strangely happy. The whole time I was copying it I kept thinking how tough it is to be a man.

For sanity and general health maintenance I can’t think of anything better than spending a weekday vegetating at home.

Consider it a reward for completing your tasks, submitting all your assignments, and going to all your meetings. (Didn’t you just spend a whole day having lunch? Nope. I spent daylight having lunch, and then worked until 3 am.)

If you have trouble sleeping, I suggest you keep cats. That’s how they spend most of the day, sleeping. Being around them will make your sleep regular.

Of course, the vegetation break should only be availed of once a week, and only if you’ve been doing your work. Otherwise it’s just sloth.