Consult the Koosi Oracle
Koosi is 11 today! Happy Birthday, Koosalagoopagoop Galadriel Ivanisevic-O’Brien!
On the occasion of the 11th anniversary of her arrival in our household, Mighty Goddess Koosi deigns to answer your questions. I am her scribe.
Post your questions in Comments and I shall put them to the Koosi Oracle.
Avert your eyes! Or she will come down and scratch them out.
The answers to your questions are in Comments.
Photo: Koosi reenacts our fateful meeting in 1999. She was rolling in a pool of grease in the parking lot of the Today office. I put her in a plastic bag and brought her home.
Answers to questions you might be asking, unless you wandered onto this site purely by accident >>>
April 12th, 2010 at 00:34
I just graduated last March. Is it time for me to look for a job or just continue life as it is for the moment?
April 12th, 2010 at 01:10
When will your human have another book signing?
April 12th, 2010 at 03:06
when will the Goddess Jessica find her one true love and wed?
April 12th, 2010 at 07:33
will he stay?
*dare i ask…*
April 12th, 2010 at 09:24
Should i stay, or should i go?
April 12th, 2010 at 09:24
Salingpusa: If you do not beg, slobber, and act needy.
April 12th, 2010 at 09:25
Nobenta: We are cats, we have many true loves that we do not marry.
April 12th, 2010 at 09:26
Eilish: It is too hot to contemplate a promotional event. When it is cooler.
April 12th, 2010 at 09:35
theSubmarine: My human always takes a year off after each chunk of school: a year off after high school, a year off after college. We felines understand the importance of doing nothing. If there is no pressing need to support yourself, and if your humans can stand to have you hanging around the house, this might work for you.
If my human were not working right now she would volunteer for one of those archaeological digs where you get free room and board in exchange for digging in the desert with a teaspoon and a toothbrush. The artifacts of the cat goddess Bast are waiting to be discovered.
April 12th, 2010 at 09:38
Xkwzt: Go! Allez!
April 12th, 2010 at 10:42
Happy birthday Koosi! what’s the secret of your uber pinkish paws?
April 12th, 2010 at 10:48
when will my crush finally get to notice me?
April 12th, 2010 at 11:20
On a totally unrelated post. I don’t know if this qualifies under Philippine Reference Alert but Alexander Skarsgard of True Blood mentioned in his Details interview that he roomed with a Filipino designer before. I’d love to find out who this Filipino designer is. Check out this link:
http://www.details.com/celebrities-entertainment/cover-stars/201005/true-blood-cover-stars-stephen-moyer-ryan-kwanten-alexander-skarsgard
April 12th, 2010 at 11:24
When will I ever find somebody worthy of my love? It seems that those that want to get with me are really inferior specimens.
April 12th, 2010 at 11:49
John Dorian: It is a combination of genetics, good nutrition, and drool.
April 12th, 2010 at 11:50
Orbiter: Human behavior is most baffling to us. They will notice you when you cease to notice them.
April 12th, 2010 at 11:52
Chronicler of Boredom: When you stop looking, so cease and desist this instant.
April 12th, 2010 at 12:37
What’s the least obvious coolest place to go to in Paris?
April 12th, 2010 at 12:57
Koosi, which clown do you see will win the 2010 presidential elections?
April 12th, 2010 at 13:07
Happy birthday, oh Feline Goddess Koosalagoopagoop Galadriel Ivanisevic-O’Brien!
Please, I beg your wisdom:
1. I have a female cat named Kitty II and would like her to have kittens again. How soon would she have them?
2. For how long will I have to keep working out in a gym for me to get the body that I have always dreamed of?
3. Should I go back to school to take up a graduate degree/second course, or should I just hang around with a regular job?
Cheers!
April 12th, 2010 at 14:34
Dear koosi:
who will be our next president?
April 12th, 2010 at 16:18
Rogue|Hero:
1. About 65 days after her next date. By the way Kitty says she is tired of the generic label by which you call her. A middle name would be much appreciated.
2. Why do you dream of another body? Puny humans. What is wrong with the one you currently occupy?
3. Why do you ask us questions to which you already know the answers? Impertinent mortal!
April 12th, 2010 at 16:19
Jumpinggiraffe and Germermerhan: These aspirants all look the same to us. Why do you bore us with issues of temporal import? Why are you mortal humans perpetually in search of a savior? 90 million of you pinning your hopes on one person. . .ridiculous! This question is tiresome.
Fetch us a snack. We would like some liver and Camembert.
April 12th, 2010 at 16:27
Abby_shoes: Cease your wondering. Every gay Filipino fashion designer who’s ever set foot in New York will now claim that Alexander Skarsgard was his boyfriend. Tacky attention-seeking mortals.
April 12th, 2010 at 16:27
Oh Majestic,
Has your human had any other gay impersonators, or is it just me?
April 12th, 2010 at 16:29
Koosi, where do I find people who will invest in my 10-room bed and breakfast? I have the space, I do not have the money.
April 12th, 2010 at 16:39
Momelia: You are legion. Impersonating our human requires not merely the wearing of black clothes and geeky glasses or the expression of “angst” (This is so grunge-era early 90s. We do not allow this in our household). For verisimilitude you must have a very large head, a supervillain laugh, and very big hair.
April 12th, 2010 at 16:44
Red: We will assume that your b&b is in a desirable location, or what would be the point. You do not need investors. Do it yourself. Find a way to raise the money. Better to rely on yourself entirely than to wait for others to fulfill their promises. We have spoken.
April 12th, 2010 at 18:59
Koosi, please answer #18. My choice is the Musee Rodin. What’s yours?
April 12th, 2010 at 20:44
Happy birthday Koosi
Please tell me, am I right in my decision to move back in with my parents?
April 12th, 2010 at 21:08
Stephanides: We like to visit our ancestors’ artifacts in the Egyptian halls of the Louvre, and then walk around the Jardin des Tuileries, which looks like a giant litterbox. However if it is coolness you seek, take the Bateau Mouche. It is so uncool, it will never be cool, which paradoxically makes it cool.
April 12th, 2010 at 21:10
Yorkie85: Yes. They are obligated to feed you and do your laundry. However you must set a deadline for moving out. One must maintain one’s self-respect.
April 12th, 2010 at 21:44
Will I be able to go to Korea this October?
April 12th, 2010 at 21:50
Brewhuh23: Yes.
April 12th, 2010 at 22:31
Hi Koosi:
Happy birthday! I hope you don’t mind my long question here; I just need advice on some cat issues.
Long story short, my dog likes to play with one of the feral mouser cats in our back yard. Both dog and cat are the same age – 6 months – and their playing usually starts with a little paw-wrestling and tail chasing. Then Pete Wentz (the canine) would pick up Tyler Durden (the feline) by the neck with his jaws and bat him around a bit, which Tyler doesn’t mind until he hisses at Pete to let him go. As a human, I’m OK with Pete and Tyler playing this way, but – short of buying more squeaky chew toys – what’s the best way to convince Pete that he can’t treat other cats the same way?
April 12th, 2010 at 23:06
Stellalehua: Every time Pete Wentz shakes Tyler Durden by the neck, hit Pete lightly but firmly on the nose and say “NO”.
We like doggies but sometimes they are too enthusiastic.
April 12th, 2010 at 23:59
Will I be able to leave the Philippines before May next year?
April 13th, 2010 at 00:05
Asoraled: Yes. Leaving, leaving, why is everyone leaving?
We are tired. That was the last question.
April 13th, 2010 at 09:55
Please, one more question, Koosi!
I write for a living and lately I’ve been losing my passion. I don’t want to lose it because it’s my life and soul. What should I do?
Thank you and happy birthday.
April 13th, 2010 at 10:07
Take a break and see if you can live without it.
Hsssss! We said no more questions. Sardaukar! Leave this one in the desert for Shai Hulud!
April 13th, 2010 at 12:59
is he straight and unattached?
April 13th, 2010 at 13:00
ooops sorry i didn’t read the last comment. but, darn! i so wanted answers. :)
April 13th, 2010 at 18:18
Another light snack for Shai Hulud!
April 14th, 2010 at 13:56
Thank you Koosi!!! Belated happy birthday from Max, Kelsey and their human :)
April 14th, 2010 at 15:05
O wondrous Oracle!
Will your human vote and if so for whom?
April 17th, 2010 at 14:45
Oh Majestic,
Will you be amenable to birthing what can be a litter of quasi-Siamese kittens? My Prince is horny and has taste.