Saffy is 10! Today she is the Oracle.
– Happy Birthday, Saffy! Today you are the Oracle.
– I am not interested in the asinine concerns of humans. I am sleepy.
– But it is the tradition. On your birthdays you cats bestow a gift upon the minions. They may address you directly to ask questions about their futures.
– This is tiresome. Alright, you may post your questions. Do not look me in the eye, uncouth mortals. Bow your heads and feign humility.
Answers to questions you might be asking, unless you wandered onto this site purely by accident >>>
June 15th, 2010 at 08:36
Saffy, will I find a job within this month?
June 15th, 2010 at 09:32
When, if at all, will I ever hit the jackpot (i.e. snagging Garrett Neff or anyone who looks close, who’ll find me “exotic” and fall head-over-heels for me)?
June 15th, 2010 at 09:46
is it time to fall in love with another man?
June 15th, 2010 at 11:36
larrym1983: Yes.
June 15th, 2010 at 11:45
ifrico: A jackpot is the jillions in a lottery. It is a matter of luck. That which you seek may be acquired through projection. You must believe that you are irresistible to the Garrett Neffs of the world, whoever the Garrett Neff is. The force of your belief creates an aura about you so that people will see whatever they desire. It is important to believe. I want my kibble and some foie gras.
June 15th, 2010 at 11:46
greeneggsnham: It is always time to fall in love with another man. I am a cat.
June 15th, 2010 at 11:52
Who will be King and Queen at Wimbledon 2010? I have to place my bets before the tournament starts in a week! I promise to split my winnings with you!
June 15th, 2010 at 11:53
tropicaltopspin: How dare you attempt to bribe us. We are not interested in your filthy winnings.
June 15th, 2010 at 12:07
Moved out on my own recently. Is it going to work out?
June 15th, 2010 at 12:13
sio_pao2001: Of course it will work. You have no choice. You will do everything you can to avoid crawling back.
June 15th, 2010 at 12:55
When will Brukoyonong admit that he loves me too?
June 15th, 2010 at 13:33
For crying out loud, will I be famous?
June 15th, 2010 at 14:09
Will Noynoy finally strap a pair on and make the Reproductive Health Bill a reality? Also, can and will he tell his relatives (particularly one sister) to back off and not interfere with his affairs?
June 15th, 2010 at 14:17
Also, did I win a plate of Escargots Bourguignon?
June 15th, 2010 at 14:22
Saffy, I just turned 20 three days ago. Do you see me getting in a relationship with an 18-year-old high school chum?
June 15th, 2010 at 15:40
Will there be positive profitable future in the almost relentless self-promotion of my work even if I slightly disapprove of the process but couldn’t yet find the guts to quit it since I’m finally forced to have psychiatric sessions because I realized I’m actually not prepared to die and the “work” I do is so far the only thing I found that still makes me want to pursue the days with hope, without resulting to lazy forced faith, self -deception and -destruction?
June 15th, 2010 at 15:48
Was that cute guy from class smiling at me or at my seat mate?
June 15th, 2010 at 16:41
Will Willie Revillame return to Wowowee? If yes, will he learn his lesson or will he still be a big de%uch b@g?
June 15th, 2010 at 16:55
I lost my school ID for the sixth time in almost 4 years. Will I still be able to find it or go get a new one (my seventh one) made tomorrow?
June 15th, 2010 at 17:10
Paul: Obviously you will always be losing your identification cards so better have the ID tattooed on your forehead.
June 15th, 2010 at 17:11
jphdavid: What is a Willie Revillame? What is a Wowowee? Why do we care?
June 15th, 2010 at 17:11
istin: Did you want him to smile at you? Then yes.
June 15th, 2010 at 17:12
Her Arms: No.
June 15th, 2010 at 17:12
fmarla: Yes. Have you informed this slightly younger person of your intentions?
June 15th, 2010 at 17:18
walterrobles: If he does not strap a pair on then we shall have to make him. Perhaps he is not really his sister’s bitch. Perhaps he is merely humoring her because she was deprived of a father while she was growing up. It is that way in human families. Kawawa naman ang bunso, lumaki ng walang ama.
June 15th, 2010 at 17:19
walterrobles: Only my human knows.
June 15th, 2010 at 17:20
River: Yes, when you stop opening interrogative sentences with ‘For crying out loud’.
June 15th, 2010 at 17:20
superboink: Right after he realizes the absurdity of being called Brukoyonong.
June 15th, 2010 at 17:36
Corned tuna: acceptable kibble, or abomination masquerading as food?
June 15th, 2010 at 17:39
stellalehua: Bleeccch. We do not eat corned tuna or any other canned tuna products made for humans. We only eat tuna for cats. Whiskas and Friskies tuna are widely available.
June 15th, 2010 at 18:43
Hello Saffy, Happy Birthday.
Was there a point in your life that you’ve spoken LOLcat? You have a better grasp of grammar than I do, sir.
June 15th, 2010 at 19:30
zombienovela: Thank you. We are not proficient in LOLcat. My father is Russian, we speak in complete sentences. You are polite for a human. I grant you one wish.
June 15th, 2010 at 19:37
Woohooo!!! Now that you said it I’ll be working on it! ^^ Thanks! And Happy Birthday! All the good wishes ever thought, said, or written go with you.
June 15th, 2010 at 19:58
Saffy, I’m convinced that I’m dyslexic. However, my friends say that I’m just lazy. I’d go for audiobooks, but I find paragraphs mysteriously skipping themselves.
The question: Will I be able to harness my maybe-condition in a moneymaking venture? (Nothing strenuous I hope.)
June 15th, 2010 at 20:07
hi saffy! happy birthday! :) who do you think will win the world cup?
June 15th, 2010 at 21:15
Illustrious and Glorious One,
For more than a year, I have been threatening to buy a Macbook Pro but I was held back by fears that I would have compatibility issues with the other computers in the office running on the Windows platform. I am particularly concerned with its compatibility with the Open Office Program which is now commonly used by government offices because it can be downloaded for free. I am concerned that usig a Mac would hamper my productivity. Are my fears unfounded? Should I allow that piece of steel to grace my office desk? Please enlighten me.
June 15th, 2010 at 21:16
sad_ism: You are not dyslexic. There are no indicators of dyslexia in your post. This means you are just lazy. Given your laziness any money-making venture you embark on would be doomed. Best to stick with ventures that only require stunning good looks or sheer luck.
June 15th, 2010 at 21:17
poms: The team that chews up and spits out the team you are rooting for will triumph in the World Cup of futbol.
June 15th, 2010 at 21:27
– Koosi, look! A human who uses Windows has dared address us.
– By Toutatis! We are aware that those exist, but we have never spoken to one. What does the creature say?
– They want to know whether they should buy a Macbook. And they use the proper forms of address, though we prefer “Incandescent” to “Glorious”.
– Why do these humans bother us with questions to which they already know the answers? They know they want one.
the chronicler of boredom: Yes.
June 15th, 2010 at 21:50
Thank you Divine One. So I shall.
June 15th, 2010 at 22:01
We get ours from Senco. Ciao, miaow.
June 15th, 2010 at 23:59
Happy Birthday Saffy!
I hope this greeting gets to you before the clock ticks 12 A.M. How come you don’t look like you’re 10? (that one’s a compliment) My cats are half a decade younger than you but they all look old and tired.
June 16th, 2010 at 00:53
din79: Thank you. We look like kittens because we’ve never had kittens. Arrested development is the secret to eternal youth. Hi to your cats. Maybe have them spayed and neutered?
June 16th, 2010 at 07:10
Happy birthday Saffy! Is it time for me to get a new job?
June 16th, 2010 at 12:51
Happy Birthday Saffy!!
My question is, What would be the best thing to spend my last school year in college?
June 17th, 2010 at 13:55
Hello, Saffy! Happy Birthday!
I’d like to know if it’s possible for the Philippines to host a World Cup in this lifetime. And if it is, when?
Thanks! xoxo