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That’s not my foot in the sandal.

Sa ‘Yo Lamang. A Star Cinema production directed by Laurice Guillen. Story written by five or six people, screenplay written by four or five. Starring Lorna Tolentino as the seemingly perfect mother, Christopher De Leon as the prodigal father, Bea Alonzo as the angry eldest daughter, Coco Martin as the feckless son, Enchong Dee as the good son, Zanjoe Marudo as the good boyfriend and Diether Ocampo as the ex.

Before the movie.

– Are we watching Sa ‘Yo Lamang?
– Was just about to text you. Saw it last week but will join you if you’re free tomorrow.
– Aha! You’d see it twice!
– Only because you’re a dear friend and I wouldn’t want to abandon you in what might be your dark hour of need.
– Is it hideous? (I’ll watch anything if it promises to be hideous.)
– Just for perspective, all the reviews I’ve read online are glowing.
– It’s that bad!!! A must-see then.
– Ahahahahahahahahahahahaha brilliant.

* * * * *

During the movie.

– I’m so disappointed. This is not hideous at all.
– No it isn’t, it’s just. . .umm. . .
– I know what you mean it’s. . .uhh. . .
– Catholic propaganda.

We were well-behaved at the screening until Diether Ocampo took his shirt off.

– Hahahahahaha!
– This is the first time in history that a hot guy took his shirt off and we laughed.
– His muscles are so exaggerated it’s a joke.
– Nobody gets definition like that from just working out. That’s a career.

* * * * *

After the movie.

– It’s amazing how everything happens to that family in one week. The father comes back after abandoning them ten years earlier, the boyfriend proposes at the same moment the ex-boyfriend returns, the feckless son knocks up his girlfriend, the good son cheats on his exam, the father discovers his ex-girlfriend is pregnant, and the mother gets cancer.
– How was the movie?
– The ‘Yo’ in the title is ‘God’. It’s a remake of Tanging Yaman.
– Every other scene is calculated to make you cry.
– Hah! I’ll cry at wildlife documentaries not at calculated tearjerkers.
– Christopher De Leon is so stretched his ears are sticking out at a weird angle.
– On the other hand the botox prevents overacting.
– Zanjoe Marudo’s upper lip is exaggerated. Maybe he should have it reduced a tiny bit.
– Be quiet. Zanjoe is perfect.