A belated apology to Ben Affleck
Ben Affleck, we should’ve done this right after we saw Gone Baby Gone but we had to make sure it wasn’t a fluke you know what we’re saying? Well we just saw the preview of The Town and now we have to say it.
We’re sorry, Ben Affleck. We’re sorry we laughed at you and said you had no talent. We’re sorry we called you the good-looking vapid boyfriend of Matt Damon. We’re sorry for all the horrible things we said about Daredevil, Gigli, Jersey Boy—actually we’re not sorry about those, they’re still true, but you’ve clearly moved on from there.
You have learned something from having been in the movies all these years. You do have talent. You’re a fine writer-director. Ben Affleck, your acting has also improved considerably, although you probably shouldn’t stand too close to Jeremy Renner because he’s the real thing, doesn’t even look like he’s acting. In The Town you would have us believe that in some kind of reverse Stockholm syndrome a ruthless bank robber would fall in love with the bank manager they held hostage two days earlier, and we believed. Good job, Ben Affleck.
We hereby retire the nickname Ben Assfleck and vow from hereon to address you by your proper name.
The Town opens in Metro Manila next week.
* * * * *
Raymond showed up for the screening carrying a giant upo. I said, “That’s subtle.” He said, “I was out of town and couldn’t resist fresh produce.”
We noted the large proportion of hotness in the cast of The Town. (The girls aren’t bad, either.) “Which one would you choose,” I asked, “Ben Affleck, Jon Hamm, or Jeremy Renner?”
“Renner,” Raymond and I chorused.
“But Affleck and Hamm are handsome in that dark-haired, square-jawed, chiseled heroic way,” I pointed out.
“Renner,” we still chorused.
“They’re taller than he is.”
“Renner,” we still chorused.
“He’s kind of a doughboy.”
“Renner.” We would not be dissuaded.
“Jeremy Renner used to be a make-up artist,” Juan added helpfully.
“Renner.”
“Colin Farrell loves him.”
An endorsement from someone we love! That seals it. “Renner.”
Answers to questions you might be asking, unless you wandered onto this site purely by accident >>>
October 1st, 2010 at 03:20
I’m going with Jon Hamm. Even his name is yummy.
October 1st, 2010 at 03:20
Agreed with the hotness factor of the cast. I’ve had a lingering crush on Rebecca Hall since first seeing her in The Prestige. It got deeper after seeing Vicky Cristina Barcelona (Scarjo was also hot in both of those movies as a contrast to RH’s physical attributes, but I digress). Might want to make the time to see The Town soon as well.
October 1st, 2010 at 16:55
I’m calling this one for Renner, too. I’ve always loved him since The Unusuals.
That said, I’m not sold on the facial hair for this movie. Though I will still watch, if only to see how Blake Lively fares as a losyang.
October 2nd, 2010 at 15:32
*gasp* Renner & Farrell?!
October 3rd, 2010 at 12:28
Jersey Girl was awful but I’ll always have a soft spot for Ben’s other collaborations with Kevin Smith; Mallrats, Chasing Amy, and Dogma, in particular.