Auntie Janey’s Old Fashioned Agony Column # 21: The Horrible Boss
Dear Auntie Janey,
I’ve been working in a multinational company for three years. I love my work and the company in spite of its many flaws. What I can’t handle is my direct boss. He is such a dick.
Lurtz, boss of the Uruk-hai in Isengard
Late last year I saw how biased and narrow-minded he really is. A new batch of staff had just come in. The new staff and some of the tenured staff had a miscommunication. Instead of making things better, my boss sided with the new staff and made it appear like we were bullying them. He continues to give the newbies preferential treatment even if some of them are clearly incompetent and in need of training. Because of this I’ve had several meetings with our department head (the boss of my boss). He’s already taking a drastic course of action that is bound to shake some feathers in our department.
In the meantime, I have to wait patiently for the results and it’s killing me. I have a very low EQ, you see, and I need your help. What do I need to do? I see my boss every day except weekends, and every time I see him I want to scream. Work-wise, my boss is not exactly exemplary so it’s a double whammy for me.
Help me, Auntie Janey. I love my job and I don’t want to lose it just because my boss is an a$$, but I’m afraid that I may run amuck or do something for which I could be terminated
Best Regards,
Employee with a horrible boss
* * * * *
Dear Employee with a Horrible Boss,
The ability to withstand pain, in whatever form, is the trademark of a professional.
One must be able to control her emotions and appear calm and serene despite the turbulence within. The ability to maintain a flat expression will disarm your opponents and will make it difficult for them to know what you are really thinking and feeling. By mastering these basic skills, you can manipulate your relationships with others in your environment.
The politics in the workplace revolves around emotions. The more you are able to control your emotions, the more you can harness the dynamics of the emotion-based power play in your workplace to your advantage.
Your boss is the tree that holds your vine. To go directly against the boss in a workplace is suicide. He has power over you, whether you like it or not. As an underling, your sole function is to support your boss and make him look good. Never ever let him feel that you are plotting to supplant him. Never make him feel insecure. Maintain the appearance of respecting him even though you think he is scum. Be useful to him. Bosses love people who are very useful for their purposes. Other people and the higher-ups will eventually notice your boss’s reliance on you and that is when you will get promoted. Being useful is not equivalent to sucking up.
Gothmog, direct boss of the Orcs at the Pelennor Fields
But what if you wish to supplant him or want him chastised? Do so but do it very discreetly. The most common mistake of people who wish to get their bosses in a pinch is that they bang a drum while doing it. Do not ever forget that your boss may have friends among the higher-ups and may also have a loyalty base. You do not wish to fight all of them. We all know that in the world of office politics, people who are easy to deal and work with are much more valued than those who have skill. We are all dispensable; there are always people out there who are better-skilled than we are and are easy to work with.
Do not dangle the fact that you have a direct line to the powers that be in your boss’s face. Also, do not broadcast to your co-workers that you have your boss in the palm of your hand. If you do these, rest assured that there will be a group of co-workers who will congregate at the water cooler for the sole purpose of plotting your demise as well. Discretion is not only valuable in sexual conduct, it is also essential when you are battling someone more powerful than you are. You should avoid direct backlash.
The Witch-King of Angmar, boss of the Nazgul. “Fool. No man can kill me.” “I am no man.”
Be very careful to whom you say your boss is an incompetent, biased narrow-minded dick. And when you do say it, say it in a professional manner like, “Under his leadership, the team has lost its morale and productivity is very low. I believe his managing style should be changed. If I may, here are my suggestions”. You must ALWAYS remember your manners because when you are making sumbong, you are also judged. Your boss’s bosses are the ones who see the bigger picture and they are the ones who know who is truly valuable to them.
As you await the doom of your boss, I suggest you withstand the pain of his company. Force yourself to be polite to him and strain to speak to him in respectful tones. Do your job and continue obeying his reasonable requests and orders. Be a manageable underling. Only speak to him when you absolutely have to. Focus all your energies on doing a good job. Meet your deadlines. If you do not want to hear him blathering somewhere, use earplugs and blast your eardrums with the music of your choice. Never ever be idle for being idle will only remind you of your pain.
Truly Yours,
Aunt Jane
The opinions expressed in Auntie Janey’s Old-Fashioned Agony Column are those of the agony columnist alone and do not reflect the opinions of the owner and administrator of JessicaRulestheUniverse.com. As with all advice, follow at your own peril.
Would you like Auntie Janey to meddle in your life? Email agoniesforauntiejaney@gmail.com.
Answers to questions you might be asking, unless you wandered onto this site purely by accident >>>
July 15th, 2011 at 00:36
panalo! maraming katotohanan ang sinabi mo auntie janey :)
meron din akong kaparehong tanong pero saka na muna.. :) nakakatiis pa hehe
ang sa akin lang, kung gusto pa rin natin ang ating trabaho lalo na pag sweldo day, tiis tiis lang muna, para pag talagang di ka na makatiis, meron kang enough na pera para magkaron ng tunay na sabbatical or early retirement! o diba bongga hehe
July 15th, 2011 at 00:40
It was said that the Witch King of Angmar could not be killed by a man. Literally. That is why Eowyn, a woman, and Pippin, a hobbit, were able to kill him. But if one of the Elves, Dunedain, Rohirrim or Men of Minas Tirith were gay, could he have killed the leader of the Nine?
July 15th, 2011 at 00:50
Comment on #2 – gays are still men/women. Elves could have killed him, but not any of the other human men.
July 15th, 2011 at 00:56
Hmm. In Middle Earth Men are a race separate and distinct from Elves, Hobbits, Dwarves, Orcs. And yet Eowyn is from the race of Men. Therefore by “man” they must mean “male Man.” The bit reminds me of Macbeth, where the witches said “none of woman born shall harm Macbeth”. Macbeth was killed by Macduff, who was delivered by—technicality!—early Caesarian section. Macbeth is also told that he will not be vanquished till Birnam Wood comes to Dunsinane. So the enemy soldiers camouflage themselves as trees. Like the Ents overthrowing Saruman.
Wait, it was Merry who helped Eowyn kill the Witch-King.
July 15th, 2011 at 09:48
@ 3 and 4:
Meriadoc pala! Hahaha. I always confuse one for the other.
So a technically male Man cannot kill the Witch King. How about a tranny? In the technical aspect, s/he no longer possesses the essential male attributes although, technically s/he cannot be considered a female because of the absence of the female reproductive system.
How about hermaphrodites?
July 15th, 2011 at 11:18
You’ll have to ask Michele Bachmann and her husband who “cures” gay people.
July 15th, 2011 at 21:26
“Being useful is not equivalent to sucking up” — Thank you.
July 16th, 2011 at 00:35
I agree with everything Auntie Janey said here. The “make yourself useful” part is important in covering all your bases. You have to minimize the chances of you getting accused of not doing your job, especially by your boss. One way of getting even and playing it right is to confuse your boss as to who his real enemy is. Don’t give him the chance to plot against you or throw anything at you. That way you can move a lot of steps ahead of him.
At the same time, it would be good to prepare a Plan B in case Plan A fails.
July 16th, 2011 at 23:45
Thank you for this Auntie Janey, I can so relate. I am in the company of orcs now until next month. haysh. i am still trying to master the poker face.