Auntie Janey’s Old Fashioned Agony Column # 32: Tweet emotions
Dear Auntie Janey,
I have a “friend-friend” (and by “friend-friend”, we mean “prospect” in the girl dictionary). His whole family was in town recently. They moved to Australia when they were kids. Weeks before they came to visit he asked me if I could show him around. I was willing and gracious. I even came up with a few suggestions that would make the local tourism industry proud. He announced to a bunch of people that we would be going out.
Then he came and went. If not for his twitter updates I wouldn’t have known he’d been here. I was waiting for him to call me but I haven’t heard anything from him to this day. I don’t know why. Nada. If he was running on a tight schedule and he could not find time to meet me, he should have at least let me know, right? But I was completely ignored. It’s not as if I’m asking for an explanation or an apology. But is courtesy too much to ask for these days?
This November I’ll be in Australia to attend my cousin’s wedding (and yeah…pray I get to see Chris Hemsworth, any of the Saunderses or Justin Coveney). The risk of bumping into “friend-friend” while I’m there, or of him knowing I would be devouring kangaroo steak is very high as his parents are very close to my family, who are also based in Sydney. (The oldies are childhood friends.) How do I conduct myself when this happens? Should I even let him know beforehand that I’m gonna be there?
Love-you-Auntie-Janey-I-hope-you-don’t-ignore-me,
Chloe Bear
Dear Chloe Bear,
I usually freak out when total strangers declare their love for me. I become cold and distant, ignore them, and hope they go away. But I’ll give you a chance.
I also feel that you are toying with my emotions. You say that you love me but you also, unabashedly, show keen interest in other men i.e. members of the Philippine Volcanoes and “friend-friend”. Are you just trying to make me jealous so that I will say “I love you” back? Is this going to be a cycle in our relationship?
You can also see your desired rugby players when they come here for games. Just be vigilant for updates. I hear that a number of them will be around in the next few months. Keep your eyes peeled.
You are obviously not over “friend-friend” or you would not be asking for advice from me. It’s like a very cold knife has been thrust into my heart. However, I will not deny you your happiness. I will let you go. As Mariah Carey wisely said: “Now I understand to hold you I must open up my hands and watch you rise”. Is this what you really want?
The fact that he did not make contact with you when he was here can be a sign that he is not interested in you (How could you? You were seeing someone behind my back?). Do not lose heart for there is still hope (I can’t believe I’m letting you go). You can still test the waters by sending out a generic tweet that you are excited to go to Australia for your cousin’s wedding.
Do not, and I repeat, do not direct this tweet at him. Let him take the bait. If he does, do not mention that you felt he was rude when he did not contact you while he was here. You will come off as needy, clingy and possessive. Do not make any hints that you want him to see you there. Remember, he had the chance to see you and he blew it. He has to adjust to your schedule when you are there. But if he will not take the bait, you may lower your hopes and feel free to be crushed (I will be around to comfort you, your rebound man/woman).
In the event that you bump into him in Australia, be pleasant and friendly. Do not bring up the fact that he snubbed you. Say “Hello” and chat for a while then move on to the other guests. I am sure there will be other prospects there (I feel another painful twinge in my heart because you will be moving farther away from me). If you are still interested in him by then, let him be the one to try to catch you in a conversation. If he asks you out (Nooooh!), tell him your schedule and let him adjust to it. If he does not ask you out (Again, do not hint that you want to ask him out) it’s the end. Come back to me or flirt with the other attractive guests.
I hope that when this is all over, you will still be mine.
Yours sincerely,
Auntie Janey
Would you like Auntie Janey to meddle in your life? Email agoniesforauntiejaney@gmail.com.
Chloe Bear, we can provide you with the addresses of certain Sydney-based individuals, but if you are apprehended for stalking them we will disavow any knowledge of your activities. This offer will self-destruct in 30 seconds.
Answers to questions you might be asking, unless you wandered onto this site purely by accident >>>
October 14th, 2011 at 15:14
Chloe, listen to your Aunt Janey here.
“Remember, he had the chance to see you and he blew it. He has to adjust to your schedule when you are there.”
There’s no two ways about it. He’s the one who blew his chance with you. If you, as his “friend-friend,” are the one who has to beg for his time and attention, paano na iyan if you’re already the Girlfriend of Friend-Friend?
And take it from someone who spent a whole week alone in Sydney: No guy – not even a Volcano, or an Avenger – is worth missing out on a great time in a great city, especially if you will never get the chance to do it again. If your family is anything like my Tita who lives in Putney, they will over-crowd your schedule with distracting activities anyway, so let them do that. Better yet, if it all gets a bit too much, ask a less-complacent family member to take you around the city and away from your family, if that will help you clear your head. Trust me, you’ll end up enjoying yourself before you can say “Mr. Friend-Friend who?”
October 14th, 2011 at 15:20
Nakialam na rin: Boys are not like girls and baklas. They are less complicated. If a boy says, “Can you show me around?” all it means, generally, is that he wants you to show him around. Girls will over-interpret that simple question to mean “I am asking you to show me around because I like you and I need an excuse to spend time with you.” We look for the subtext. They are all about the text. End of pakikialam.
October 14th, 2011 at 15:20
love the way auntie janey inserts lost love lines. haha..
October 14th, 2011 at 22:14
“We look for the subtext. They are all about the text.”
mantra for d day.
October 16th, 2011 at 03:22
# 2 jessicazafra — Ay, amen, amen, amen to this, Madame. So true. Ay nako, kaya mas stressful ang relationships sa end natin eh, dami kasi nating iniisip na hindi naman dapat!
Oo, talagang “end natin.” Wahaha!