The Weekly LitWit Challenge 7.7: Leila and Gloria take the gloves off…and you vote for the winner.
The winner is VenusdeSupsup! Congratulations, Venus, you may pick up your stack of books at the Customer Service counter of National Bookstore, Power Plant Mall, Rockwell, Makati. Just give them the email address you used to register here.
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We have five contenders for this week’s LitWit Challenge, Leila v Gloria. Less than we’d expected given the media storm, but not a bad effort at all. Now it’s time to pick the winner, and to make things more interesting we’ve decided to let you be the judge.
Read the 5 entries in Comments, and then vote for the playlet you like best.
We’re accepting votes until 4.44am tomorrow, 28 November 2011.
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That’s all you’ve got? Real life smacks you in the face with material and this is it? The lowliest baklita sweeping hair off the floor of the corner P20-peso haircut beauty parlor could do better. Hell, straight guys could do better.
The contest is extended until noon tomorrow, Sunday 27 November.
Classic bitch: Bette Davis in All About Eve, not to be confused with Korean soap
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There are many great plays with only two or three characters: Harold Pinter’s Betrayal (one married couple, one friend, infidelity), Michael Frayn’s Copenhagen (Niels Bohr, Werner Heisenberg, Nazi Germany and the Bomb), Samuel Beckett’s Waiting for Godot (Vladimir, Estragon, a couple of extras, Godot does not arrive).
For the Weekly LitWit Challenge 7.7 you’re going to write us a scene for a play with two or three characters. The protagonists are Justice Secretary Leila De Lima, the former President Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo, and President Benigno Aquino III (optional).
Maximum word count: 2,000 words
Deadline for submissions: 11.59 pm, Friday, 25 November 2011.
Post your entry in Comments.The prize is this stack of books.
Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy by John LeCarré, Ransom by David Malouf, The Last Station by Jay Parini, The Man in the Yellow Doublet by Arturo Perez Reverte, The Wordy Shipmates by Sarah Vowell, and Lush Life by Richard Price.
Give us something Nora and Vilma or Meryl and Judi or Dakota and Elle can sink their teeth into.
The Weekly LitWit Challenge is brought to you by our friends at National Bookstore.
Answers to questions you might be asking, unless you wandered onto this site purely by accident >>>
November 20th, 2011 at 20:13
PNOY: You know what my Christmas wish is Leila?
LEILA: A wife?
PNOY: No silly, I want the moled hobbit in jail. Could you make this happen?
LEILA: Come on, but she’s already ill.
PNOY: The thievery I can allow, the corruption, so-so. But I cannot forgive her for the death of the Daking. Other people’s money you can steal, but there’s only one Fernando Poe Jr.
LEILA: I have to concur. I had the biggest crush on him when I was growing up. Yes, Mr. President, as you wish.
+++++
Scene: La Vista Mansion of the Macapagal Arroyos.
LEILA: Good morning, may I please speak to Mrs. Arroyo please?
PGMA: This is her.
LEILA: Hi ma’m I regret to inform you that I have a standing order for your arrest.
PGMA: Lose 30 pounds first.
LEILA: As soon as you reach five six.
PGMA: Don’t you know who I am?
LEILA: Sorry, too much work, I’m afraid has addled my brain. Who are you anyway?
PGMA: I am the former president of the Republic! I appointed you as head of the Commission on Human Rights, how could you do this to me?
LEILA: With pleasure.
PGMA: Look, why don’t we talk about this over coffee.
LEILA: I don’t drink coffee.
PGMA: Well, then just give me your bank account number then, I’ll give you five million reasons to think about it.
LEILA: Duh, that barely covers full body liposuction. I sure wish I had recorded this conversation, another nail on your political career’s coffin.
PGMA: Why are you picking on me? We girls should stick together.
LEILA: You are evil missus Arroyo. And the long hand of the law will have no trouble finding you since you’re too short. We won’t allow you leaving for medical reasons since the countries you want to go have no extradition treaties. You might think that you could get away with this, but not this time.
PGMA: How about fifty million reasons?
LEILA: (In a mocking, sing song manner) You’re going to jail, shorty…..you’re going to jail
++++
PNOY: (Raising a toast) To the incarcineration of the small evil one.
LEILA: This is for Daking! (glasses clink)
PNOY: Thanks so much, Leila, good job, my staff and I will be having a FPJ movie marathon after this meeting, care to join us?
LEILA: No thanks, but I do have something for you (hands him a short brown envelope).
PNOY: (Opens the envelope, face lights up with glee) Her mugshots! Thanks so much I
could use this for target practice!
November 21st, 2011 at 09:56
LOL on the entry… :-)
November 24th, 2011 at 15:21
Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo (GMA) and Leila De Lima (LDL) forced to share a jail cell because of the continuing overpopulation of prisons in the Philippines:
GMA: What are you looking at?
LDL: Nothing. I am looking at nothing. I look at you and I see nothing.
GMA: Well, look who’s talking!
LDL: Me! It is me, Justice Secretary…
GMA: “Former” Justice Secretary…
LDL: Whatever! It is me, Leila De Lima who’s talking!
GMA: Stupid bitch! That remark was rhetorical.
LDL: Spell rhetorical.
GMA: R… uhm…. E….
LDL: Okay. How about pig? Can you spell pig?
GMA: What about you? Can you spell pig? Because you surely resemble one.
LDL: That’s it! The gloves are off!
GMA: The gloves went off the moment you made this… this whatever this is, a personal matter. All I ever wanted was to seek treatment abroad.
LDL: Treatment for what? Insanity? Mrs. Arroyo, insanity is rarely cured, and in your case— NEVER!
GMA: Let’s wait and see if you were in my shoes.
LDL: IMPOSSIBLE! I eat healthy foods. I get at least eight hours of sleep daily. I have a personal fitness trainer. I will NEVER, and let me repeat that, NEVER ever be in your shoes.
GMA: Healthy? If you were healthy, tell me your waist line then.
LDL: No.
GMA: Please?
LDL: Never.
GMA: Chicken…
LDL: I invoke my right against self-incrimination.
GMA: We’re already in jail, stupid.
LDL: Unlike you, you evil spawn of Satan…
GMA: That’s quite redundant there, you see because any offspring of Satan is automatically evil.
LDL: What is this, English 101? Anyways, unlike you— you vertically challenged, money laundering scum of the Earth, I will only be here for a couple of days. The jail sentences of contempt versus electoral sabotage, plunder, perjury, treason, inciting to sedition, jaywalking, kidnapping, robbery, extortion, racketeering, falsification of public documents, forgery, bribery, massacre, loitering, vagrancy, tax evasion, malversation of public funds, assault, and indecent exposure combined are far from each other.
GMA: Are you done? Well, I won’t object to any of those charges except jaywalking. That’s ridiculous! I own a car! I don’t walk.
LDL: Regardless, you will be held accountable for crimes against humanity.
GMA: Why, are you a better person than me? Did manipulating the legal system just so you could arrest me put you in a better position now? Stripped of our titles and our political status, we are the same. Shocking but true.
LDL: Maybe so, but not necessarily, no. Height-wise alone we are not alike.
GMA: Weight-wise…
LDL: You’ve already used that snide remark. Try thinking of another punch line Mrs. Arroyo.
GMA: …
LDL: Even in jail you concede to a fight so easily.
GMA: PIGGGGGG!!!!!
LDL: MIDGET!!!!!!!!!!
GMA: Power-hungry!
LDL: Short person!
GMA: Obese!
LDL: Tyrion Lannister!
GMA: Who’s Tyrion Lannister?
LDL: I’m sorry, I forgot you only watch crappy local soap operas.
GMA: Correction, they are now called teledramas, or telenovelas. What you see on TV are not necessarily sponsored by soap companies anymore.
LDL: Whatever, you will still rot in jail.
GMA: I hate you.
LDL: I hate you more.
GMA: I hate you more, more, more.
LDL: I hate you on purpose.
GMA: I hate your body fat.
LDL: I hate your neck brace.
GMA: Glad you mentioned that. The neck brace, by the way was just for show. I don’t really have a life-threatening medical condition, I just wanted to escape. Or maybe I loved NARUTO too much.
LDL: As if I care.
GMA: You don’t care. THAT’S THE POINT. You don’t care about due process, the constitution, or about my rights as a human being!
LDL: You don’t deserve to be called a human being.
GMA: I beg to disagree.
LDL: I’m sorry?
GMA: I beg to disagree.
LDL: Beg for your life, instead. You’re lucky if you don’t get raped here during your first month.
GMA: I can pay to have protection here, you know.
LDL: Whatever you pay these hoodlums here, the government can pay higher.
GMA: Is there no limit to your wickedness?
LDL: Is there no end to your mole growing larger?
GMA: I am getting tired. I don’t want to talk to you anymore.
LDL: Nonsense! The fight is just getting started.
GMA: Talk to the hand.
LDL: Fight me, you coward.
GMA: No.
LDL: Stand up and fight.
GMA: I said, no!
LDL: Okay then. (Falls silent)
GMA: (After a while) I miss the palace. I miss my honey bunch Mike. I miss Mikey, my never-do-good, binge drinking evil of a son who wants to become a security guard and a tricycle driver. I miss playing golf. I miss foot spa. I miss my kumare Mitos Magsaysay.
LDL: …
GMA: What? Don’t you look at me with eyes like that! Don’t you dare judge me! I am not one to be judged, and you sure as hell don’t qualify to be a judge of such an esteemed social character as me.
LDL: …
GMA: I served my country well. I created more projects for the Philippines than those implemented by the previous administrations combined! I am a damn good economist and under my term as president, Philippines has never been richer. I showed no mercy, even to my friends who have committed crimes. Just look at Merci. NO MERCY FOR MERCI. Get it? And the Ampatuans, did I condone them? The Filipinos LOVE ME. I salvaged the Philippines from anarchy! And now I am in prison. And now the Philippines will be in chaos. Let it be known that on this day, I Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo, Filipino patriot and martyr, fell victim at the hands of the very people whom I had faithfully served.
LDL: (nosebleed, faints)
November 25th, 2011 at 21:04
St. Luke Medical Center Presidential Suite, hapon.
Gloria: Anong ingay yan? Sinong secretary? Si Esperanza ba yan? Dadalaw-dalaw dito para mag-commiserate daw, malay ko kung sya ang nag-squeal na hindi naman life-threatening ang condition ko. Papasukin yan!
Leila: Good afternoon, Mrs. Arroyo. I’m sorry, I thought this was the ambassador suite. I’ll just leave.
Gloria: No, stay! Takot ka? The lady with the balls natatakot sa akin? Kaya ka siguro hiniwalayan ng asawa mo dahil may bayag ka!
Leila: I don’t have time for this. Baka hinihintay na ako nina Jackie at Beaver.
Gloria: Beaver, yong punyetang financier ng coup laban sa akin? Ginagapang mo na rin ang mga Lopez para sa ambisyon mo sa 2013?
Leila: I’m not even sure if I’ll run for the Senate in 2013.
Gloria: Liar! ‘Yang walang katapusan mong pagpapa-press con, para saan ‘yan? Ubod ka ng sinungaling!
Leila: Ikaw, ano ka? Punung-puno ng mga kasinungalingan ang pagkatao mo! Ultimong kaliwang boob mo ay peke!
Gloria: Hindi naman ako separadang gaya mo! Mahal ako ng asawa ko. Kami pa rin hanggang ngayon.
Leila: At hanggang ngayon, kasalo mo pa rin si Vicky Toh sa pagmamahal ni Mike!
Gloria: Ako ang nag-appoint sa ‘yo sa Commission of Human Rights. Tapos, kinakalaban mo ako ngayon? Wala kang utang na loob! Gusto nyo pa akong dalhin sa detention center. Wala na ba akong karapatan bilang tao?
Leila: Akala ko ba karapatang mangibang bansa ang ipinaglalaban mo?
Gloria: Huwag kang pilosopo! Halos lahat ng legal luminaries nagsasabing unconstitutional ang ginagawa nyo sa akin! Ang lakas ng loob mong suwayin ang inilabas na TRO ng Supreme Court! Magistrado pa naman ang middle name mo!
Leila: Supreme Court na ang majority ng mga justices ay mga alipores mo!
Gloria: Ano ka ba Lei? Wala ka bang awa? May anorexia na ako dahil sa stress! Ang payat-payat ko na! Naka-Minerva vest pa ako na ang sagwa-sagwa.
Leila: Kailangan mong pagdusahan ang mga kasalanan mo sa taumbayan!
Gloria: Bakit ba sampalataya ka kay PNoy? Hindi ba binale-wala nya ang findings ng DOJ sa Quirino Grandstand Hostage investigation? Lei, inilaglag ka nya! Mas matalino at masipag ako kaysa kanya. Alam mo ‘yan! Teka, target mo rin bang maging First Lady ni PNoy?
Hindi sumagot si Leila at parang nag-isip.
Gloria: Kumusta na nga pala si Budoy, este si Israel pala?
Leila: Bitch! Hwag mong idamay ang anak ko! Sagad sa buto ang kasamaan mo kaya pati buto mo bumibigay na! Isinusumpa ko, mabubulok ka sa kulungan! Tingnan mo ang hitsura mo, ngayon pa lang nakarehas na ang leeg mo!
Gloria: Hahahah! Hahahah! Hindi ka na mabiro. Pikon ka, Leila. Talo ang pikon! Talo!
November 25th, 2011 at 23:48
extension please madam jessica… sige na…
November 26th, 2011 at 22:06
I have to add that Sarah Vowell’s The Wordy Shipmates is a very appropriate read during the American Thanksgiving weekend. The book explains a lot about how modern US policy is based on the brand of puritanism that was brought overr by ships like The Mayflower from England. The history lessons aren’t presented in cut-and-dry fashion either. Sarah’s books are some of the most enjoyable reads on US history.
November 27th, 2011 at 11:57
(A Seattle’s Best in New York, some time in the late 2020’s. Two ladies, both gray, one grand, the other granite-faced.)
Lady1: Still got the taste for that black coffee, eh? Time didn’t wear out your appetite for the strong and powerful?
Lady2: Want some? Tastes good.
Lady1: May I take a seat? Are you expecting anybody?
Lady2: Grab one, I came to find some peace, so I wasn’t expecting anybody.
Lady1: Least of all me.
Lady2: Least of all you.
Lady2: Oh come on, parang wala tayong pinagsamahan nyan. This is New York, where can you find peace here?
Lady1: Why thank you. Akala ko kasing init pa rin ng kape na yan ang tingin mo sa ‘kin. This coffee shop was peaceful. Hanggang sa may dumating.
Lady2: Ayun nag tagalog din.
Lady1: Sa New York kasi tayo, blend in lang. So how is everyone?
Lady2: How are you muna. I’m wearing this pashmina you gave me.
Lady1: Ako? Eto buhay pa. Eh ikaw? Buhay ka pa. I mean, well, yeah, wala pang sakit-sakit sa katawan? A lady can never look bad in a pashmina.
Lady2: Xempre masakit ang likod, masakit ang tuhod. The heart has known healthier days. May tama na din sa atay ng konti.
Lady1: The brain?
Lady2: Matagal nang may tama.
Lady1: Uhuh. Order nga din muna ako ng kape. Sandali.
Lady1: Masarap yung cappuccino dito.
Lady2: May sipa. Kakaibang sipa. Parang gusto kang sipain sa panga. Sarap, no?
Lady1: Mahal ng kaunti, mabuti wala akong dinalang bodyguard. May baril yung dala palagi.
Lady2: Sa New York tayo, may mura ba dito? You should know. Kelan ka pa ba naging kuripot?
Lady1: Sa kape lang. At sa perfume.
Lady2: Hahaha.
Lady1: In fact, when I was in office, I was generous to a fault.
Lady2: Namudmod ka ng utang na loob.
Lady1: Namudmod ng utang na loob? At siningil ko din pagkatapos? Ayan na naman tayo.
Lady2: Para saan ba at sinisingil naman talaga yun.
Lady1: Well, can I avoid it? When you are in power, when you have the careers of people at the palm of your hands, you will always be given credit when you put them a notch higher. Hindi naman ako naniningil ng utang na loob eh. Sila na ang nagbigay. At ako tumitingin din ng utang na loob. I give thanks where it is due. Showing gratitude lang yun. Kahit mga Kano ganyan din.
Lady2: There’s some milk sa counter, the cappuccino here seems too matabang. Ang problema lang pag marami kang utang na loob. Pag sabay-sabay silang naningil. At kung wala kang pambayad.
Lady1: At kung kanino ka may utang na loob.
Lady2: Ay. Okay na ang lasa nito, I’m watching my weight din.
Lady1: Bakit, were you ever called walang utang na loob? Sa Pilipinas kasi lahat naman ng tao may utang na loob sa kung sino-sino. Depende na kung kaninong utang na loob ka magbabayad.
Lady2: So how do you know which ones to choose? If choosing just one over the other needs to be done? How can you tell which ones want you to show your utang na loob? What will you do if magreklamo yung isa?
Lady1: The one who will hurt you most when they seek retribution.
Lady2: Kung sino any may hawak ng mas mainit na kape?
Lady1: It all boils down to it, don’t it?
Lady2: Kape pa, gusto mo?
Lady1: Yosi gusto mo?
Lady2: Nagyoyosi ka na?
Lady1: Hinde. Si Noy lang mahilig magyosi.
Lady2: Kamusta na yun?
Lady2: Change topic?
Lady1: Hahaha. Baka matapon ang kape, no? Ang liit pa naman ng table. Ang lapit mo lang oh.
Lady2: Mainit pa tong akin.
Lady1: Mga anak mo kamusta?
Lady2: Ayun, busy sa mga ginagawa. They always leave their kids with me. Full time lola na talaga ako. They are too successful.
Lady1: Ako din, yun na lang ang pinagkaka-abalahan. Seeing them always makes me recall the times when I was too busy to care for my own children.
Lady2: Hindi naman sila napariwara. Ayan, gayang-gaya sa mga magulang. The drive, the ambition, the determination.
Lady1: The unquenchable thirst, the questionable methods, the unyielding stand. Kape pa?
Lady1: Si Rene kamusta?
Lady2: Si Midas ang kamustahin mo.
Lady1. Favorite topic?
Lady2: Hindi tayo parehong attorney, pero pwede naman tayong magbaba ng husga, tama?
Lady1: Sino ba nagsabi na the Supreme Court is not final because it’s infallible, it’s infallible because it is final? American supreme court justice ata yun.
Lady 2: Sa America lang yan. Tanong mo kay Estelito.
Lady1: Tanong natin si Hubert.
Lady2: Let’s not give the man another trial by publicity. Masakit sa bulsa ang ganyan. Masakit pa sa ulo. At sa vocal chords.
Lady2: But when the courts of law lose their credibility, we resort to the court of public opinion.
Lady1: Give interviews kasi sa Supreme Court hindi naman pinapakinggan doon? So sa media na lang o kaya magproduction number sa airport. Sa internet din masaya, real time pa. Hindi na kailangan si Korina para manalo sa mga survey
Lady1: Masaya lang kung ikaw ang nananalo. Ano?
Lady2: I’m used to winning, I’m used to losing too. That’s just how it is. Whether it’s a step back or a step forward, just keep on walking. Gusto mo lumipat dun sa kabila? Masarap ang wine doon.
Lady1: Tutungga na tayo? Ang aga pa lang ah. Paano na ang atay natin nyan? Matagal tagal pa ata ang usapan na to.
Lady2: Sus, para namang ang healthy healthy natin. Sabi ni Doktora Cervantes ayos lang ang kaunting wine, para na rin sa heart.
Lady1: Pinipili mo lang kasi gusto mo sundin na sabi ni Juliet. May sinabi ba sya how much wine you can take in a week? What kind of wine? How about beer?
Lady2: Ay, hindi ko na maalala.
Lady2: It’s easy to follow rules when they are good for you.
Lady 1: How about those that are inconvenient?
Lady2: How about those?
Lady1: Isipin mo na lang kung kayang mong panindigan kung ma-confine ka dahil nasobrahan ka ng inom.
Lady2: Kung masobrahan ka ng inom dahil kinalimutan mo na ang sabi ng doctor? Parang nung na-emergency room ako when I drank two cups of this Americano. Sarap eh.
Lady1: Pang-ilang cup mo na yan?
Lady2: Secret. Sarap eh. Tanong mo kay Mike, marunong bumalanse yun ng palpitations nya at ng cravings nya sa Mocha Java.
Lady1: Si Mike dadating mamaya. He’s on his way. We’re watching that Darren Criss musical later, favourite ni Mikaela daw yun.
Lady2: So how about Mike? Are we even talking about him?
Lady1: We’re talking now.
Lady2: Look, it was just a night between two people who were both lonely and looking for love.
Lady1: Was it? Tagal na nun, mainit pa din. Yung kape mo mainit pa?
Lady2: “The hips that weighed a thousand ships”. I liked that line, parang ang ganda ganda kung sino magsalita. Other woman ang drama, dapat kinonsulta muna si Carmi, corny masyado.
Lady1: Kung lalaki ang pag-uusapan, palagi nawawalan ng civility ang mga babae, noh? We always seem to be bitches in heat when we fight over men.
Lady1: Ang mga babae, walang hinangad kundi ang magmahal, at mahalin in return. Miss World yun di ba?
Lady2: Malamig na yung kape ko hindi ko pa nakakalahati, gusto mo maglakad muna? I can call for a bodyguard, the benefits of power, ika nga.
Lady1: Wait, I’ll order another cup. For Mike.
Lady2: I’ll get my purse, it’s on me.
November 27th, 2011 at 12:04
Sa isang ospital sa Metro Manila:
Gloria: Bwisit! Lagi na lang si De Lima ang laman ng mga dyario. Ang laki pa ng picture sa Phil. Star at may pabaril-baril pa! Feeling superstar, kamukha naman ni Mahal!
Leila: Anong sabi mo?
Gloria: Andyan ka na pala! Kumusta na? Sikat na sikat ka na! I’m sure magiging topnotcher ka s 2013. Talagang natatabunan mo na ako!
Leila: Hindi ako nakikipag-compete sa iyo.
Gloria: Loka, natabunan na ako ng balyena mong katawan!
Leila: Aba, ang kutong-lupang to ah. Nunal na naging tao! Congenital liar! Ham actress!
Gloria: Ay! Ang balls mo napunta sa pisngi mo! Ang pintog at puro manteka!
Leila: Sasampalin ko ang buwang na to eh!
Gloria: Sinong buwang? Akoh? Hindi ako baliw!
Leila: Yan din ang suspetsa ko. Nagluluka-lukahan ka lang!
Gloria: Suspetsa? Puro ka suspetsa! Suspetsang tatakas ako! Kesyo na-apply ako sa Dominican Republic ng asylum…
Leila: nasa asylum ka na ng mga baliw!
Gloria: O ano, masaya ka na?
Leila: What?
Gloria: Gagah! Linya yan ni Mona Lisa sa Insiang! Dapat ang sagot mo, Hindi, Inay! Ang galing ni Mona Lisa sa Insiang. Yan ang peg ko kung artista ako. Pero hindi mo ako mapapaihi sa batalan, noh? Yong love scene, okey lang sa akin, lalo na kung machong gaya ni Ruel Vernal ang kapartner ko. Totoo bang bading daw yon?
Leila: Excuse me!
Lumabas sandali sa kwarto si Leila. Maririinig ang boses nyang nagtatanong “Si GMA ba ang kausap ko’t hindi ang impersonator na si Ate Glo?” Nakikinig naman si Gloria sa usapan. Pumasok si Leila at humarap kay Gloria na nagugulumihanan.
Gloria: Og ano, hindi mo na ako sinagot?
Leila: Hindi ko alam!
Gloria: Wala ka kasing alam kundi tungkol sa law, puro ka law. Palpak ka naman! I have constitutional right to travel! I have the right to seek medical treatment abroad! Anong constitution ba ang itinuturo sa San Beda? Aber?
Leila: Narining ko na yan kay Reyna Elenang Maysungay!
Gloria: kumusta na pala ang kambal nyang sina Martina at Lukas? German ang asawa noon. Siguro ang laki ng ano non…balls!
Leila: Hindi ko alam.
Gloria: Wala ka namang kagana-ganang kausap! Akala ko ba bar topnotcher ka? Ay, #8 ka lang pala! Hoy si Elena napaka-loyal sa akin non. Sila ni Mitos Magsaysay. Hindi gaya mo! Remember ako ang nagbigay sa yo ng break sa CHR? Wala ka sa kalingkingan ng asawa ko pag tungkol sa loyalty ang pinag-usapan. Tamo andito pa riin sya kahit pwede na nya akong iwan. Talagang walang iwanan!
Leila: Walang lokohan! Kumusta na pala si Vicky Toh? Sila pa rin ba ni Mike? Yong nag-file ng disbarment case laban kay Mike na si Maria Celia Suarez? Siya daw ang favorita at ikaw ang igorota.
Gloria: Ginawa ko na ang lahat. Lahat ng mga utos nya’t pakiusap, sinunod ko. Pati nga suso ko, pinaretoke ko para sa kanya. Lahat ng kababuyan…. pati na ang paghe-helicopter sa kama!
Humagulhol si Gloria, pati likod yumuyugyog. Hindi maawat sa pag-iyak. Medyo naawa si Leila.
Leila: Yong tungkol sa helicopter, totoo ba yon?
Gloria: Oo naman. Sabi ko todo na to! Pati nga pole dancing pinag-aralan ko. Nalaglag nga ako’t napinsala ang gulugod ko!
Leila: Hindi, yong tungkol sa 2nd hand na helicopter na ipinagbili nyo.
Gloria: Ano ka bali? Akala mo maiisahan mo ko?
Leila: Kinukumusta ka pala ng bigotilyong Batangueno.
Gloria: Gwapo pa rin ba sya? Ang sarap mangiliti non. Pero wala yon. Si Mike talaga ang TL ko. Ginamit lang ako non para sa $2 million kickback nya sa IMSA. Gaya ng panggagamit ni Pnoy sa akin. Lahat ako ang sinisisi. Ako, lagi nalang ako! Da ba pati ikaw ginagamit mo tong zarsuelang to para sa ambisyon mo sa 2013? Press con at grandstanding, to grandstanding to gain political advantage.
Leila: Hindi totoo yan!
Gloria: Ang alin? Ang pikit-mata mong pagsunod sa lahat ng utos ni PNoy? Yong bungled Luneta hostage crisis kung saan ni-rebuked ka nya, yong 5 million aid to MILF, yong failed CCT programs? Pinambabala ka sa kanyon ng kalbong yon!
Tumitig si Leila kay Gloria at matamang nag-iisip.
Gloria: Kung may gusto kay PNoy, mali ang diskarte mo! Tigilan mo ang shooting-shooting na yan. Magpa-make-over ka! Yong tipong Benadette o Shalani, or even Korina! Kunin mong stylish si Liz Uy. Makipag-friendship ka kay Kris at sa ibang Aquino sisters. And speaking of kris, madali kayong magkakasundo non dahil pareho kayong may anak na mongoloid.
Leila: Tumigil ka! Autistic si Ismael at hidi mongoloid. Ang sama mo talaga! Kasing-itim ng nunal ang budhi mo! Hindi ka baliw! Nagkukunwari ka lang para makalusot ka sa mga kaso mo.
Matuling tumakbo papalabas ng kwarto si Leila habang naiwang nakangiti si Gloria.
November 27th, 2011 at 21:47
I vote for VenusdeSupsup entry. Sobrang aliw kahit may mga typos. Lalo na yong tungkol sa helicopter at pole dancing. Very informative pa…. may tsimis na totoo at totoong tsismis lang. Thank you.
November 27th, 2011 at 22:35
Boto ko kay VenusdeSupsup. Nakakatawang tunay.
November 28th, 2011 at 04:56
Isang boto para kay VenusdeSupsup. Dapat na tangkilikin at iangat ng isang tao ang kanyang sarili bago ang iba. Ito’y pansariling opinyon ko lang naman.
November 28th, 2011 at 07:40
Two points po, Kuya, para kay VenusdeSupsup dahil sa aliw factor. Yun lang po Big Brotherss…
November 28th, 2011 at 20:35
congrats venusdesupsup. panalo talaga ang iyong entri.