Not a foreword to RJ’s book
It Only Hurts When I Pee by RJ Ledesma hits the stores soon.
Dear R.J. Ledesma,
Thank you for asking us to write the foreword to your new book. How many books is that in total? That’s amazing. Anyone who says that publishing is dead has clearly not seen your masterworks flying off bookstore shelves. Or seen them.
And surely there is no truth to the persistent rumor that you were lurking behind the shelves, tossing copies of your books into the bags of unsuspecting shoppers. Who soon found themselves having to explain why the security alarm went off as they attempted to exit the store (“But I’ve never seen that book before in my life!”).
Seeing your byline in the paper gives us a sense of historical vertigo, which is the pretentious way of saying that we cannot look upon you without thinking of orange-flavored carbonated beverage. Not that long ago you were insinuating yourself into our television habit; now you have insinuated yourself into our reading routine—and in the same newspaper our column appears in. Had we the slightest doubt in the integrity and good sense of your yaya, we would think that you were stalking us hahaha! No, really.
Which brings us to the real purpose of this letter. We regret to inform you that we must decline your request. We cannot write the foreword to your new book. To do so would be to admit culpability in your writing career.
It is distressing enough that you cite us in connection with your decision to write. Why must you mention us at all? Why can’t you blame Danton Remoto or Dr. Isagani Cruz, whose guilt is easy to establish since they were actually your teachers?…
Answers to questions you might be asking, unless you wandered onto this site purely by accident >>>
December 6th, 2011 at 16:37
I intend to read (or buy) one of his books but only because I think it will be very annoying. I’ve been steal-reading some every time I’m at NBS.
December 7th, 2011 at 00:54
it only hurts—
huh? does he mean he can’t feel any other sensation?
December 7th, 2011 at 02:03
I hope lestat and berto don’t find RJL annoying because they’re under the impression that JZ finds RJL annoying. And what if RJL really meant “it only hurts when –” and not “it hurts only when –?” It’s an “imaginary –” anyway.
December 7th, 2011 at 07:01
I never knew he wrote books until now.
December 7th, 2011 at 16:14
I do not like wannabes, ergo, I do not like him. I never knew there’s a thing as being an intellectual poser after I had a chance of tuning into his radio show. On a good note he does well in douchebagerry. This guy should just get an office job where he’s not paid to talk or air out his opinions. Like deal with spreadsheets and shut the hell up.
December 7th, 2011 at 22:28
:)
at least there’s the first line that announces the book will be hitting stores soon. though “hit” still sounds violent.
December 7th, 2011 at 23:29
@kotseng:
nah, why would rjl annoy me? i haven’t had the chance to read him anyway. what only annoys me is only when the word only is only used to only drive some point, really only. i don’t know only.
December 8th, 2011 at 00:13
Ayy! Two men enter, one man leaves.
December 8th, 2011 at 06:14
Although I went ahead and checked his blog, looked for links, and managed to read me one of his essays. That was when I found out why I never knew he wrote books until now.
Oh, oh @ thegreatcornholio! I know of this DJ who can well use your advice. I heard he hasn’t moved on, and he’s very chismoso for a guy.
December 8th, 2011 at 19:56
ewan ko, si joey pa rin naaalala ko pag nakikita ko sya. hmp!
true ka jan, momelia!!