Research says men and women can’t be “just friends”. What do you think?
There’s a whole movie about the issue.
Men and Women Can’t Be “Just Friends”
By Adrian F. Ward
Can heterosexual men and women ever be “just friends”? Few other questions have provoked debates as intense, family dinners as awkward, literature as lurid, or movies as memorable. Still, the question remains unanswered. Daily experience suggests that non-romantic friendships between males and females are not only possible, but common—men and women live, work, and play side-by-side, and generally seem to be able to avoid spontaneously sleeping together. However, the possibility remains that this apparently platonic coexistence is merely a façade, an elaborate dance covering up countless sexual impulses bubbling just beneath the surface.
Read the full article at Scientific American.
Hmmm. Interesting, but not very scientific. Then again 98 percent of our friends are gay men so we don’t have a problem being just friends. (Isn’t the term “just friends” is an insult to friendship?)
What do you think? We want stories! (You know you want to tell them.)
Answers to questions you might be asking, unless you wandered onto this site purely by accident >>>
January 3rd, 2013 at 18:10
“However, the possibility remains that this apparently platonic coexistence is merely a façade, an elaborate dance covering up countless sexual impulses bubbling just beneath the surface.”
Naaah. I disagree with the article’s basic premise. Otherwise, ugly people won’t have any friends at all. (Kidding)
I do think the theory is too far-fetched and implicitly relegates humans to pretty much nothing but sex-driven creatures incapable of other relationships.
It is also implicitly concludes men are basically pigs. (Then again… hee.)
Lastly, I don’t believe it addresses the fact that many people consider family members as friends also. Does this mean Jack is secretly attracted to his sister Jill because they consider each other best friends as well? Because that would just be disturbing.
I also agree with your observations that (1) it’s not a very scientific study, and (2) the phrase “just friends” does seem to insult friendship (I never thought of it that way).
January 3rd, 2013 at 18:14
P.S. Favorite comment I read on the article:
“I’m bisexual, so I guess I can be friends with no-one. Great. -_-“
January 3rd, 2013 at 22:01
I wish I were bisexual. I would have, um, twice as much material to peruse.
January 7th, 2013 at 00:18
i’ve had at least three heterosexual male friends in college — friends whom i did a lot of stuff with (all-night drinking, overnight at the tambayan, out-of-town initiation rights, partners at school projects, campus rallies, etc.). it never progressed into anything although our friends (at various points) kept on teasing me with one of them. i never had any romantic feelings for them, much less, sexual desires.
wala talaga. maski na konting “kilig” man lang. nada. iisipin mo pa lang na hahalikan ka eh, nandidiri ka na.
so we remained close friends.