A Good Day for a Worn-Out Franchise to Die Quietly
A Good Day To Die Hard is so terrible, if it hadn’t been for the gunshots and explosions we would’ve fallen asleep. And we speak as a fan of the Die Hard movies. Okay, the first three.
When Bruce Willis and his “son” go to the abandoned nuclear plant in Chernobyl, we just tuned out and re-viewed Andrei Tarkovsky’s Stalker in our head. It also happens in an abandoned nuclear facility in Russia. Yeah we’re a nerd. We cannot claim to have understood Stalker but we can replay scenes in our head. We forget this Die Hard even as we’re watching it.
Bruce Willis’s career isn’t over—recently he’s done good work in interesting projects like Rian Johnson’s Looper and Stephen Frears’s Lay the Favourite. He can go on without Die Hard. The Die Hard series needs to have its obituary read to it by Alan Rickman.
(Damnit WordPress, the videos in the scheduled post disappeared again!!!)
In 1988 Bruce Willis had hair, the Japanese and not the Chinese ruled business, the villains were German. In 2013 Willis is bald and all Russians are evil.
If Alan Rickman is not available, Benedict Cumberbatch could do it.
Answers to questions you might be asking, unless you wandered onto this site purely by accident >>>
February 22nd, 2013 at 07:37
Better yet, Benedict Cumberbatch impersonating Alan Rickman’s Snape. See “Love is a Many Splintered Thing” episode of The Simpsons.
February 22nd, 2013 at 12:51
My review of the film in five sentences:
When Bruce Willis went “Yippeekayay, mother f*cker!” towards the end of the film, it was so blasphemous I seriously felt offended. Just. Don’t watch it. Or if you do, think of it as a bad parody of a Die Hard film. Maybe then you’d enjoy it :p
February 22nd, 2013 at 12:55
A movie that defiles a signature profanity!
February 23rd, 2013 at 11:49
That’s quite a distinction :))
February 24th, 2013 at 12:57
Isn’t the “son” one of the inconspicuous villains from Jack Reaping? Big jump from an ‘semi’ extra.
February 25th, 2013 at 01:33
Can’t believe that they did this movie. I am sure Die Hard fans are disappointed.
February 25th, 2013 at 13:38
and if you want to hear mr cumberbatch’s hilarious rendition of candle in the wind ala alan rickman: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GnyrFJda7i0
its mr cumberbatch jessica, i’ve got to butt in and say something hehe.
By the way, i was done with discovery of witches and yup, blargh on the second book, i barely got through the second chapter. If it wasn’t an ebook downloaded on my phone i would have hurled the thing on the farthest wall.