JessicaRulestheUniverse.com

Destination: Hagia Sophia, Istanbul.

It’s been ages since I went on a trip. Fine, five months, but staying put makes me antsy. I start micromanaging my cats (You’ve been eating 5 percent less kibble, are you all right??) and watching entire seasons of TV series (Mad Men 5 in two days). Boredom sets in, and this is a dangerous state—one must snap out of it immediately, or it consumes your life. When you regain consciousness you realize that you just spent the last five years complaining of how bored you are. Mostly boredom makes me angry. Anger is productive, at least, but it’s exhausting.

I feel like Ishmael in Moby Dick:

Whenever I find myself growing grim about the mouth; whenever it is a damp, drizzly November in my soul; whenever I find myself involuntarily pausing before coffin warehouses, and bringing up the rear of every funeral I meet; and especially whenever my hypos get such an upper hand of me, that it requires a strong moral principle to prevent me from deliberately stepping into the street, and methodically knocking people’s hats off- then, I account it high time to get to sea as soon as I can.

In my case, I get on a plane.

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When the publicist asked me if I’d like to go to Turkey, I didn’t even have to think about it. Meteor Philippines and Turkish Airlines had organized the trip for travel agents; she was supposed to go but her schedule did not permit it. So they decided to invite someone who could write it up, and I want to thank the two people ahead of me who declined the invitation. Drinking glasses and dentures within a 5-mile radius shattered when I saw the travel taxes and tour guide tips I’d have to pay, but hey, it’s Byzantium-the Roman Empire-the Ottoman Empire-modern-day Istanbul.

Cue another bloodcurdling scream when I realized belatedly that I’d have to go to Hong Kong on my own to catch the flight to Istanbul. Fortunately I have Mabuhay Miles on PAL, and with the help of my brilliant contact Eya was able to book a ticket to Hong Kong on very short notice. 15,000 miles plus tax plus the rush fee, still a good deal.

But enough about my stress, on with the trip. As you have no doubt noticed, this is one of those travel accounts containing more information than anyone needs. By the time this journal is finished, you may think you’ve been to Turkey. I will post as often as the internet connection allows.

* * * * *

What we’re reading on this trip

The Towers of Trebizond by Rose Macaulay – A funny account of a trip from Istanbul to Trebizond, through the backlands of Turkey, in the 1950s.
Lords of the Horizons by Jason Goodwin – A history of the Ottoman Empire
And Moby Dick read by Tilda Swinton, Benedict Cumberbatch et al on my iPod.

* * * * *

I hereby award myself a medal for not murdering something in the midst of what I can only describe, somewhat dramatically, as a clusterfuck.

There are manic-depressives, then there are people like me who are furious-euphorics. Furious because the best-laid plans are undermined by stupidity, and euphoric because I never run out of things to write about.

Turkey has nothing to do with it, I’m not even there yet. I’m sure Turkey will be spectacular. Nope, I’m in Hong Kong airport.

Later!