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Personal blog of Jessica Zafra, author of The Collected Stories and the Twisted series
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Archive for June, 2013

Books we have hurled across the room with great force

June 11, 2013 By: jessicazafra Category: Books 32 Comments →

hurled

“This is not a book to be tossed aside lightly. It must be thrown across the room with great force.” That was in a book review by Dorothy Parker. Throughout our lives as readers, we have been taking Ms Parker’s advice and hurling book across the room with great force.

Some of them were terrible books (or as Ms Parker also said, “This wasn’t just plain terrible, this was fancy terrible. This was terrible with raisins in it.”). Some were clearly published to help us develop our throwing arm (Hello, Twilight).

But many were acknowledged classics of literature, part of the so-called canon. They were tedious, tendentious, infuriating; we were convinced that they had been written specifically to torture us; we wanted to hunt down the author and force-feed him his book page by page. Sometimes we picked them up off the floor and continued reading them. Sometimes we finished the books and even grew to admire them. And some of them are still on our shelves, mocking us silently.

Books we have thrown: a partial list
– Lots of Joseph Conrad. Aaargh, Nostromo. Sometimes we tell the unsuspecting: “You know, Alien by Ridley Scott is an adaptation of Nostromo.” You’d be surprised how many people believe that. It’s all in the delivery.
– Anything by Henry James longer than The Portrait of A Lady
– Most of Honore De Balzac
– George Eliot, especially that !@#$%^& Silas Marner, which is short.
– Moby Dick by Herman Melville. We finally got through it, but only because it was read to us by Tilda Swinton, Stephen Fry, Benedict Cumberbatch etc. Now we admire the hell out of it. It’s So Weird! It makes other books sound stuffy.
– Almost forgot/have blocked out the memory of two things we had to read for Medieval English lit: Piers Plowman and Layamon’s Brut. Aaaaaaaaaa. And we actually enjoy medieval epics, especially the Arthurian tales—Chretien de Troyes, Malory, Wolfram von Eschenbach, bring them on.

Still, we count ourselves fortunate that we didn’t have to read Pilgrim’s Progress or the works of the American colonists—Jonathan Edwards, etc. Which reminds us of these lyrics by Dave’s True Story:

I’ll read Kafka’s tale about that lonely vermin
I’ll read every Jonathan Edwards sermon
Hell, I’ll read Emmanuel Kant in German
But I’ll never read Trollope again

Your turn to confess.

Cake of wickedness

June 11, 2013 By: jessicazafra Category: Food 2 Comments →

torta

On a recent trip to Aristocrat for our chicken-barbecue-with-java-rice fix, we were greeted by a life-size standee of Aristocrat’s Nancy Reyes. So picture our consternation when we spotted the real-life Nancy Reyes at the next table.

Nancy asked us if we had tried the Torta de los Reyes, their new chocolate dessert. We confessed that we hadn’t, and proceeded to correct this oversight.

slice

The outer layer is a thick, dark chocolate. The inner layer is chock-full of marshmallows and meringue. It’s so intense, we had the weird urge to go to confession.

It goes especially well with black coffee.

Neil Patrick Harris triumphs over doom of ex-child stars

June 10, 2013 By: jessicazafra Category: Music, Television 2 Comments →

“Can I have my Tom Hooper Les Miz close-up, please? See, on Broadway we don’t need extreme close-ups to prove we’re singing live.”

Only person who could make us watch the Tonys.

Aldous Huxley vs. George Orwell

June 10, 2013 By: jessicazafra Category: Books, Current Events 2 Comments →

Huxley and Orwell wrote about PRISM more than 50 years ago.

orwell

huxley

Huxley vs. Orwell: The Webcomic, via biblioklept

How to care for your books, papers and photos

June 09, 2013 By: jessicazafra Category: Books 2 Comments →

james wolstenholme
Art by James Wolstenholme via Hi-Fructose

By the Head of Conservation Treatment at the New York Public Library.

DO keep your books and documents in a stable, moderate environment. A good rule of thumb is that if you’re comfortable, so are your books. Room temperature, around 70 degrees, and a moderate relative humidity, around 50%, is best. Try not to store your books or paper in attics (too hot) or basements (too moist). Too much heat or moisture can speed up deterioration or encourage mold growth. (Note: Average humidity in Metro Manila today is 66%. Yikes.)

DO keep your books away from direct sunlight. Ultraviolet and visible light can speed up the deterioration of paper and cause fading or discoloration.

DO clean your books regularly by dusting with a clean, dry, soft cloth. Simply hold the book closed and wipe the covers and edges. Vacuuming with a soft brush can also safely remove loose dust.

DO shelve books upright, and support them with bookends so they won’t slump. If you have oversize or large, heavy volumes that don’t fit upright on the shelf, store them flat rather than on the spine or edges.

DON’T put your bookshelves along exterior walls, where they may experience temperature and humidity changes. Try to place them along interior walls.

DON’T use oil or leather dressing on your leather bindings. Contrary to previously held opinions, oil or leather dressing doesn’t keep leather supple, and it can actually cause staining and other deterioration as the oil or dressing ages. Wiping with a soft, dry, clean cloth is best.

DON’T repair damaged covers or torn paper with pressure-sensitive adhesive tapes, i.e. “Scotch” tape. Often repairs done with even the best of intentions can cause worse damage over time. (As we have learned, to our distress. We have also stopped covering books in plastic because the plastic shrinks, and in our climate it gets stuck onto the book cover.)

The winner of the LitWit Challenge: A Translation of Ice and Fire contest is…

June 08, 2013 By: jessicazafra Category: Books, Contest 7 Comments →

A reader lives a thousand lives before he dies. The man who never reads lives only one.

– Jojen Reed, A Dance With Dragons

mat on map
Mat is lying on The Lands of Ice and Fire—maps from King’s Landing to Across the Narrow Sea. Available at National Bookstores.

The shortlist:

– ros for the epilogue to A Dance of Dragons
– ohxanderthisoneisforyou for the birth of the dragons from A Game of Thrones and the breakfast of the Lannister siblings from the same book
– lova for Jon Snow’s first time from A Storm of Swords
– japz20 for the “You win or you die” scene between Eddard Stark and Cersei Lannister in A Game of Thrones.

They all deserve to win, but we had to pick just one. And we are very fond of the line: “Speaking for the grotesques, I beg to differ. Death is so terribly final, but life is full of possibilities.”

So the winner is ohxanderthisoneisforyou. Congratulations, the three books—Body, Aurorarama and The Teleportation Incident—are yours.

ros, lova and japz20, we appreciate the good effort, so please choose one of these books: The Accursed by Joyce Carol Oates, Requiem for a Dream by Hubert Selby, Jr, and No Easy Day, the firsthand account of the mission that killed Osama Bin Laden, by Mark Owen.

Please post your full names (and your book choice) in Comments (They won’t be published). We’ll alert you when your prizes have been delivered to National Bookstore in Rockwell.

(Update: Winners, you or your representative may pick up your books any time at the Customer Service desk, National Bookstore, Power Plant Mall, Rockwell, Makati, telephone (02)8974562. Just give your name to the staff in charge. The books will be there till the end of July. Enjoy!)

The monthly LitWit Challenge is sponsored by our friends at National Bookstore.

Here’s the winning entry by ohxanderthisoneisforyou (with minor edits).

* * * * *

Laro Ng Mga Trono
Tyrion (1)

Lumagitik ang malutong na tinapáng baboy nang kagatan niya ito. Nag-isip nang ilang saglit si Tyrion habang ngumunguya, saka nagwika, “Ang sabi niya, kung mamamatay ang bata, di sana’y namatay na itong agad. Apat na araw na’ng lumilipas, wala pa ring nagbabago.”

“Gagaling po ba si Bran, Tiyo?” tanong ng munting si Myrcella. Minana niya ang rikit ng kanyang ina, ngunit hindi ang ugali nito.

“Nabali ang kanyang likod, hija,” sabi ni Tyrion. “Nasira rin ang kanyang mga paa nang mahulog. Pinapainom lamang siya ng tubig at pulot upang ‘wag mamatay sa gutom. Marahil ‘pag gising niya, makakakain siyang muli ng tunay na pagkain, pero kailanman, hindi na siya makakalakad pa.”

“Kung magising siya,” ulit ni Cersei. “Posible pa ba iyon?”

“Mga diyos lang ang may-alam,” tugon ni Tyrion. “Ang maestero, umaasa.” Sumubo pa siya ng tinapay. “Sinasabi ko, yaong alaga niyang lobo ang dahilan kung bakit nakakakapit pa siya sa buhay. Umaga-gabing nakataliba ang halimaw sa labas ng kanyang bintana, ungol nang ungol. Tuwing tinataboy nila, laging bumabalik. Sabi nga ng maestero, minsan nilang sinara ang bintana, para takpan ang ingay, saka namang biglang nanghina ang bata. Nang muli nilang buksan, bumilis agad ang pintig ng kanyang puso.”

Nangilabot ang reyna. “May kung-anong kababalaghan sa mga hayop na iyan,” ika niya. “Mapanganib. Hindi ako papayag na sumama sila sa ‘tin patungong timog.”

Sabi ni Jaime, “Mahihirapan kang pigilan sila, kapatid. Parang mga anino kung sumunod sa kanilang mga dalagang amo.”

Sinimulan na ni Tyrion ang isda. “Bueno, malapit na ba kayong umalis?”

“A, sana’y sa lalong madaling panahon na,” sabi ni Cersei. Bigla siyang napasimangot. “Ibig mo yatang tanungin kung malapit na ba tayong umalis?” ulit niya. “Bakit, ikaw? Mga diyos—’wag mong sabihing mananatili ka rito?”

Magkikibit ng balikat si Tyrion. “Babalik si Benjen Stark sa Tagamanman ng Gabi, kasama ang bastardo ng ‘utol niya. Balak kong makiangkas at purbahan sa wakas itong Muralya, na matagal mo na rin sigurong nababalitaan.”

Ngingiti si Jaime. “Naku, mutyang kapatid, ‘wag ka sanang magbalak na sumanib sa itim.”

Tatawa si Tyrion. “Ano kamo, ako, magpapakadonselya? Gusto mo yatang mamulubi ang mga puta mula Dornia hanggang Batong Casterlo. Hindi. Gusto ko lamang tumayo sa tuktok ng Muralya, at pagkatapos, umihi mula sa dulo ng mundo.”

Biglang tumayo si Cersei. “Hindi na kailangan pang marinig ng mga bata ang kahalayan mo. Tommen, Myrcella, tara na.” Dali-dali siyang lumabas ng silid pang-umaga; sumunod sa kanyang hakbang ang mga ayudante’t alagang tuta.

Matamang itinutok ni Jaime Lanister ang malalamig at lunting mata niya sa kanyang kapatid. “Hindi papayag si Stark na umalis ng Invierna, nang nananatili ang kanyang anak sa lilim ng kamatayan.”

“Papayag ‘yon, basta ba iutos ni Roberto,” sabi ni Tyrion. “At maniwala ka, iuutos iyon ni Roberto. Tutal, wala rin naman nang magagawa ang Poong Eddard para sa pobre niyang anak.”

“Maari niyang tapusin ang pagdurusa ng bata,” sabi ni Jaime. “Kung anak ko ‘yon, iyon ang aking gagawin. Mas makatao.”

“Pinapayuhan kita na iwasang banggitin ang panukalang ‘yan kay Poong Eddard, mahal kong kaputol,” sabi ni Tyrion. “Baka lang sakaling masamain niya.”

“Kahit pa mabuhay ang bata, magiging lumpo naman. Masagwa. Di na lang kasi tapusin nang malinis at maginhawa.”

Tumugon si Tyrion nang nagkikibit, at sadyang lumitaw ang pagkabaliko ng kanyang balikat. “Alang-alang sa mga masasagwa,” ika niya, “ikinalulungkot kong sabihing hindi ako sang-ayon. Ang kamatayan kasi, masyadong mabilisang katapusan, samantalang ang buhay—nag-uumapaw sa mga posibilidad.”

Ngumiti si Jaime. “Kay buktot mong impakto, ano?”

“Ay, totoo ‘yan,” inamin ni Tyrion. “Dalangin ko’y magising ang bata—interesado akong malaman kung ano’ng sasabihin niya.”

Nangasim na parang panis na gatas ang ngiti ng kanyang kapatid. “Tyrion, mutyang kaputol,” kaniya, nang may unting pangungulimlim, “minsa’y nagtataka ako kung saang panig ka talaga kumakampi.”

Punumpuno ng tinapay at isda ang bunganga ni Tyrion. Humigop siya ng itim na serbesa bilang panulak, at parang asong ulol na nginitian si Jaime. “Aba naman, Jaime, matamis kong kapatid,” ika niya, “sinusugatan mo’ng damdamin ko. Alam mo naman kung gaano ko kamahal ang ating pamilya.”