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Our friend Juan was on vacation in Milan the other week, to our everlasting envy, and he took these fabulous photos. Above: The rooftops of Milan, seen from the top of its most famous architectural site, the Duomo.

At the Milan Cathedral and other famous churches in Italy, visitors are enjoined to wear “proper” attire. The guards turn away visitors who are wearing tank tops, short shorts, and other outfits they deem disrespectful to the sacred place.

Outside the Milan Cathedral—on the very walls—anything goes, apparently.

Milan is one of the world’s fashion capitals, home to Prada and other famous couture houses. Not surprisingly, the natives are well-dressed. It’s a good policy when traveling to try and do as the natives do, so dress up.

The Castello Sforzesco was the residence of the Sforza family, rulers of the Duchy of Milan. The Sforzas followed the previous rulers, the House of Visconti (as in the filmmaker Luchino’s ancestors). One famous Sforza was Caterina, who ruled Milan, defended her castle against the army of Cesare Borgia, and was also painted by Leonardo and Botticelli (in Primavera she is one of the Three Graces, the one on the right).

As with many great fortresses, the Castello now belongs to the cats.

On a side street Juan wandered into a church which, unlike most Milanese churches, did not have a long queue of tourists out front. It was the Church of San Bernardino Alle Ossa, which was built in the medieval period over an ancient cemetery. It contains the Ossuario, “whose every architectural detail is clad in human bones.”

Juan reports that he was the only visitor in the chapel, and it was quite dusty. Then it occurred to him that he may have been inhaling the bones of dead people.

All together now, Tolkien fans, sonorously: “The way is shut. It was built by those who are dead. And the dead keep it.”

Juan wanted to see Leonardo Da Vinci’s The Last Supper at the Convent of Santa Maria della Grazie, but tickets are limited and have to be booked online weeks in advance.

According to the excellent BBC series The Private Life of A Masterpiece, The Last Supper began to deteriorate a few years after Leonardo completed it. Apparently our genius used the wrong materials, plus behind that wall was the convent kitchen so the painting was constantly exposed to heat and moisture. The Last Supper is vanishing right before our eyes. Over the centuries, attempts to restore the work have not succeeded, and some were botched horribly.

Of course, replicas of The Last Supper—in a wide assortment of materials—may be viewed in the dining rooms of many Filipino homes.

Juan did get to visit the Leonardo Da Vinci National Museum of Science and Technology, where you can see machines built from the sketches in Leonardo’s notebooks.

Travel advisory: When taking a train in Europe, be paranoid about your belongings. Even—or especially—when you’re in first class. Our friend put his bags on the overhead rack and went to the washroom for a few minutes. One bag contained an envelope with his hotel reservation forms and an envelope of cash. When he returned to his seat his bags were still there. He didn’t notice anything missing until he got to Venice. The police called his hotel and said an envelope containing his hotel forms had been found in the train station.

In the three minutes that he was in the train washroom, another passenger had taken his bag down from the rack and stolen the two envelopes, including the one that held cash. Fortunately his passport and credit cards were not taken.

We’ve heard that this also happens on airplanes.

So lock your bags, especially the outer pockets, and take your valuables with you when you go to the washroom. Yes it’s inconvenient, but times are hard. Butt-bags exist for a reason. Okay, that’s too extreme, yiiiii. Bring a bag/man-purse. It’s Italy, they’ll understand.