Cinemalaya: The return of Seiko movies! Amor y Muerte, historical and hysterical
There’s been a lot of grumbling about how hard it is to get tickets to Cinemalaya—and this is a good thing. The shows are sold-out!
If you don’t buy your tickets well in advance or book seats online, good luck getting into the screenings at Greenbelt. Given the clamor for tickets and the heightened interest in this year’s entries, wouldn’t it be great if the Cinemalaya screenings at Greenbelt, Trinoma, and Alabang Town Center were extended for another week?
Yesterday we didn’t get to Greenbelt till 3pm and all the screenings we wanted to attend were full. Luckily we ran into friends at the coffee shop, merienda turned into a swap meet, and we scored the precious tickets to Amor y Muerte.
Set in the town of Polo, Bulacan in the 16th century, Ces Evangelista’s Amor y Muerte is about the clash of civilizations: the repressive religion of the Spanish colonizers versus the sexual freedom of the indigenous people. Or as Max the French film critic put it: It’s more fun in the Philippines!
The stuck-up colonial regime is represented by Diego (Markki Stroem), a Spanish official. The sexually uninhibited population is represented by Apitong (Adrian Sebastian), a native Tagalog who lives in the forest. Diego is married to a Tagalog woman, Amor (Althea Vega) who used to be Apitong’s lover. Amor is quite voracious, and within hours of Diego’s departure to help quell Lakandula’s rebellion in Manila, she’s throwing off her clothes and jumping under the waterfalls with Apitong.
Suddenly we were seized with nostalgia for the “agribusiness” classics of the 90s: Kangkong, Talong, Itlog, Patikim Ng Pinya, and Kapag Ang Bigas Ay Naging Kanin, May Bumayo Kapag Ang Palay Naging Bigas, May Bumayo. This is a movie in which the culture wars are fought with butts: Diego’s pale Spanish buns against Apitong’s tanned native ass, both of them, uhh, pounding away at the issue.
Apitong would seem to have the advantage because he walks around in a loincloth and carries a very large python. A literal python—among other things he’s an exterminator, specializing in rat infestations. (Every time the word “sawa” was uttered we could not contain our shrieks of laughter.) However, Diego makes up for being fully-dressed by taking off his clothes every ten minutes or so. Markki Stroem’s acting is terrible but no one could take their eyes off him because he’s so naked.
The production design is hilariously slipshod, and the 16th century costumes look like they came from SM five minutes ago. Their “scrolls” have machine-cut edges and plastic rollers and the words are written with chisel-edge marker pens. Someone appears looking like a reject from Huwag Mong Buhayin Ang Bangkay and is asked, “Kumusta na?” Yet, for all its deficiencies, this movie has a daffy vigor that puts many of its high-minded competitors to shame.
Entonces, an peliqulan ito ay naqaqathira nan ulo! Huwaq qaliqtaan!
What the production gets right: Althea Vega looks like the Chinese-Filipino mestiza in this 19th century photo by Francisco Van Camp.
Answers to questions you might be asking, unless you wandered onto this site purely by accident >>>
August 3rd, 2013 at 04:39
*Kapag ang palay naging bigas, may bumayo.
Kapag ang bigas naging kanin, may nagsaing.
August 3rd, 2013 at 11:17
Historical. Bow!
August 3rd, 2013 at 11:31
Chusera, doon sa ibang pelikula, walang nangyari. Sa Amor y Muerte, maraming nangyari.
August 4th, 2013 at 02:35
Tried to reserve seats but the screenings are packed. I do hope that they would extend screenings at the Ayala cinemas for one more week.
August 4th, 2013 at 17:32
kamukha ni ryzza mae dizon pag nagdalaga si althea vega.
August 6th, 2013 at 16:43
“This is a movie in which the culture wars are fought with butts: Diego’s pale Spanish buns against Apitong’s tanned native ass, both of them, uhh, pounding away at the issue.”
Gusto kong mapanood ito. Bwahahaha!