Every movie we see #7: Me, Frankenstein
Movie #5 was Breakfast at Tiffany’s, our umpteenth viewing. Movie #6 was Take the Money and Run, also our umpteenth viewing.
This review was inspired by Monsterpiece Theatre’s stunning production of Me, Claudius.
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Me, Cookie Monstress, watch Me, Frankenstein for one reason: Aaron Eckhart. Harrum-nom-nom-nom. Aaron Eckhart, best known for Two-Face, brilliant at playing super-articulate assholes (In the Company of Men, Thank You For Smoking) and he have granite-y handsomeness me love. Aaron look like Nikolaj Coster Waldau, me think they twins. Me still mad he not punch anyone in the face in stupid White House attack movie Olympus Has Fallen. Why? Why?
No, wait. Me have other reason for watching Me, Frankenstein. We in Church of Whedon love demon-slaying and angels vs demons stuff like the one with Viggo Mortensen as Lucifer. Cookie! Me not watch Underworld movies but the makers of those bake this one, too. Instead of vampires fighting werewolves, gargoyles fighting demons. Original!
Aaron Eckhart play Frankenstein’s creature in 21st century. For someone 195 years old and stitched together from parts of eight corpses, him hot! Mmmm, six-pack. He not eat cookies, me think. In case you finicky, creature’s dad is Frankenstein so that his name, too. Frankenstein monster delicious as long as no smell of putrefaction. Me hate that.
Demons in suits led by Bill Nighy out to get him so they can figure out reanimation technology. Why they need that, demons have no powers? Gargoyles led by Eowyn of Rohan try to stop them. Yes, scary statues in cathedrals are really forces of good. Gargoyle general is son of Bruce Willis in crap Die Hard in Russia. Mmmm, cookie! Demons can be destroyed with sacred objects like swords with gargoyle sigil or holy water.
Me ask: Why not bombard demons with holy water cannon? Oh right, this dumb movie. But fun! in bananas way. Mmm, bananas. Me like bananas but me like cookies more. There should be Aaron Eckhart cookies and Nikolaj Coster Waldau cookies.
Me recommend Me, Frankenstein if you like Aaron Eckhart, Nikolaj Coster Waldau, demon-slaying and popcorn with extra butter. And cookies. Sesame Street, please don’t sue me. Mary Shelley, maybe you should sue Me, Frankenstein but creature in public domain. Oh right, it’s Frahnkensteen!
Answers to questions you might be asking, unless you wandered onto this site purely by accident >>>
January 24th, 2014 at 14:29
Okay, that review just made me want to go out today to watch it. :)
Eowyn is there, too? More reason now to see. And of course, Bill Nighy is case again. The Underworld folks loved him as Viktor, I guess, but then again, who didn’t?
January 25th, 2014 at 21:18
5,000 likes for Cookie Monstress’ review!