JessicaRulestheUniverse.com

The Ghent Altarpiece, one of the priceless artworks the Monuments Men had to recover, is the most stolen artwork of all time.

And we love the story. A small, overworked crew of curators, art historians and conservators lands in Europe to recover works of art looted by the Nazi’s for Hitler’s dream museum. They’re saving civilization itself (though as Leo points out, not from a Marxist perspective).

Pity that the movie is a clunker. George Clooney, who wrote, directed and stars in this adaptation of Robert Edsel’s book, spends too much time explaining why the mission was of vital importance and not enough time engaging the audience. George, darling, if you’re going to give us the basic lecture on art history, it would be better to come to our houses and deliver it in person. The voice-overs with the overbearing musical score telling us how it’s our duty to care about the mission: Ugh.

The Monuments Men is a waste of an excellent cast: Why hire Matt Damon, Cate Blanchett, Hugh Bonneville, Jean Dujardin, Bob Balaban and especially Bill Murray if you’re not going to give them anything to work with? Balaban’s character was based on Lincoln Kirstein, founder of the New York City Ballet. Other than a few barbs delivered by the cranky private, the comedic potential of this situation was squandered.

If you want an engrossing account of the Nazis’ wholesale art theft, watch the documentary, The Rape of Europa. It’s more exciting than Monuments Men.

One of the panels of the Ghent Altarpiece is still missing.

And read about Anne Olivier Bell, the last of the Monuments Men—a woman who is not mentioned in the film. (Too bad, they could’ve used another female character.)