JessicaRulestheUniverse.com

We’re not convinced that Stendhal’s Syndrome exists—too melodramatic. More likely it’s a fainting spell caused by exhaustion and hypoglycemia after many hours of trooping through museums. However, if Stendhal’s Syndrome is real, the place where you’re most likely to contract it in Metro Manila this week is Art Fair Philippines.

For the second year, The Link Carpark across from the Landmark Department Store in Ayala Center has been transformed into an exhibition space. This year’s Art Fair is at least twice as large as last year’s—apart from the gallery spaces, an entire floor of the building has been given over to exhibits by chosen artists.

Among them is National Artist BenCab, whose accomplishments probably include the invention of skinny jeans by default.

We made a list of the art we would buy if we had an unlimited budget, or steal if we intended a reenactment of The Thomas Crown Affair.

This painting by one of our favorite young artists, Jeona Zoleta (love her initials). According to our friend Moira Lang, secret illegitimate daughter of Fritz Lang (we’re inventing her history, and Fritz Lang reportedly came to Manila in the 70s), Jeona was born during the feast of the Black Nazarene so her name is a contraction of “Jesus of Nazareth”. Ah, Pinoy names.

Cracked by Joven Mansit, who paints from old photographs and embellishes them with bizarreries.

The Flying Cook, a sculpture by Michael Cacnio. What is that manananggal cooking?

Anything by Jaime de Guzman, a prominent artist of the 70s who is being rediscovered today. A retrospective of his work is on view at the Archivo 1984 gallery.

This is not the CCP Main Theatre, oil and video on canvas by Gerardo Tan. We seriously covet this painting, and took to following Gerry around whining, “Pleassse we wantsss the precioussss.”

Bakunawa, this wondrous dragon sculpture by Joy Mallari at Tin-Aw. In mythology, Bakunawa is the sea-serpent that swallowed six of the seven moons in the sky.

The Chapel of Many Saints and Sinners by Geraldine Javier. Apart from an unlimited budget, we’d have to have the good fortune to be high up on the waitlist of Geraldine’s collectors. (Could you make tiny monks we could wear as earrings?)

This gorgeous painting. We don’t know whose it is, but we’re sure someone will tell us. (Moira: The artist is Sarah Geneblazo.)

We knew from halfway across the room that this is a painting by Elaine Navas. We love her work.

Robert Langenegger’s warped reinterpretations of famous paintings. This one is Caspar David Friedrich’s Wanderer Above A Sea of Fog transposed to Makati.

Francine and Donna pose with Robert.

Marina Cruz has been painting children’s clothes, and now she’s sculpting them. We heard that John Lloyd Cruz bought two of her works. More on John Lloyd later.

The fabulous ping-pong tables of Louie Cordero. That’s the artist playing ping-pong. You could hang a table from the ceiling and play ping-pong upside-down.

Art Fair Philippines 2014 opens today, 20 February, and runs until Sunday, 23 February. Concurrent with the Art Fair are exhibitions by Elmer Borlongan and Ai Weiwei at the Ayala Museum.

When you go to the Art Fair, tell us which pieces you covet.