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For a long time we resisted shopping at S&R because we thought we didn’t need to. We’re the only human in the house so we don’t really need to buy 24 rolls of toilet paper at a time, and anyway our cabinets have no space for a 24-roll pack of toilet paper. Also, we must have the Cookie Monster nom-nom-nom gene, because if there is a box of 24 bars of chocolate in the house, we will eat it all in a couple of days. To avoid this, we don’t shop in bulk. Extreme self-control is the way to go: We cannot stop, so we just don’t start. (This is also why we don’t gamble.)

However, the unreliable supply of kitty litter and cat food in supermarkets changed our mind. Friends told us that there was plenty of cat food and litter in stock at S&R, so we got our membership card and went to their Bonifacio Global branch last Sunday. Our sister tagged along because she has eight to ten people living in her house at any given time and she does need the 24-roll bag of toilet paper.

If you’ve read Twisted Travels, you may recall that our sister is maniacally practical and will stick to her budget whatever happens. When we travel she is the wallet, and good luck getting her to spring for extras. In Prague we were early for the opera and she insisted that we sit in the park in the falling snow. Only when she became convinced that we were freezing our faces off did she agree to take refuge in a bar.

As expected, S&R is vast. The place sells not just food in mass quantities, but refrigerators and flatscreen TVs as well. Think of a large warehouse stacked from the floor to the high ceiling with consumer goods. Our plan was to reconnoitre first, mark the positions of target merchandise, then go back for them. However, the sheer amount of food in bulk quantities at wholesale prices did something to Cookie’s wiring. This is what she sounded like.

“Look! Five dozen madeleines!”
“Two dozen bottles of dog shampoo it’s so cheap!”
“Omigod a drum of marshmallows!”
“A whole cow on sale!”

Yes, our impulse-invulnerable sister had met her kryptonite.

Seriously, do we need a dozen bagels? At these prices, yes. The array of baked goods was staggering.

If you’re drinking to forget, this should wipe out several lifetimes’ worth of memories cost-effectively.

Apparently their pizza is famous because the long queue never got shorter.

And we found the grail of humans who live with cats: 50-pound sacks of kitty litter at Php599. A good brand of non-clumping, at a price lower than the cheapest litter we can find in Metro Manila. Our membership card was perfectly justified.

There was no kibble in stock—Why? Why??—but they had Friskies Classic Paté, which we can never find in regular supermarkets. Good thing, too, because Saffy has gotten tired of Fancy Feast and taken to glaring at us whenever we serve it at her mealtimes. Yes, she is always glaring, but we can tell what she means exactly.

There were three times as many types of dog food as cat food, tsk tsk.

This is what we ended up buying at S&R: 100 pounds of kitty litter, a dozen large cans of cat food, two whole-wheat baguettes (great when toasted), 200 grams of blue cheese at a third of what it costs in delis, and a large bookshelf. Yes, a bookshelf, five feet high and six feet wide. Fake wood, but our books will be happy just to be in an upright position and not stacked on the floor. We took the bookshelf home in a box that requires assembly (and two people to carry), but we love erector sets (Uh-hhuh) and stuff that comes with diagrams.

This is what our sister ended up buying at S&R: Enough food and supplies for the crucial first month of any zombie apocalypse.

For information on S&R Warehouse Clubs, visit their website.