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– Saffy, we’re home!
– Go away, I hatesss you.
– We missed you.
– I did not miss you at all.
– Look, we got you a present from Palawan.
– What is this?
– It’s a pearl necklace.
– These are not pearls.
– Well, they’re mother-of-pearl. (It’s actually a bracelet for humans. You can get three of them for Php100 from Badjao hawkers.)
– I thought so. Pearls do not usually come in plastic bags.

To ingratiate ourself with the cat, we offered her a can of Friskies Classic Paté. Saffy ate a few bites, then began to growl and inspect her teeth with her tongue, as if she were trying to dislodge something. She also batted at her cheeks with her paws.

Being familiar with Saffy’s moods, we knew that these growls were not of the “Get the hell away from my food dish” variety she uses on Mat and Drogon. Saffy had a toothache.

We consulted our vet Mayem Yao, who continues to treat Saffy even if this cranky cat requires three people to hold her down, and many members of the Pendragon Vet Clinic staff have received painful souvenirs from her claws. If your critters need vets, we recommend Pendragon highly. Text 0922-VETHELP.

Her toothache gone, Saffy ate half the can of Friskies paté. An hour later she climbed onto the table, sat on our keyboard and glared at us. This means “I want food.” Clearly she intended to make up for the meals she had not enjoyed while she had the toothache.

– This necklace is not bad.
– You can have all the necklaces (bracelets). They don’t fit Mat’s and Drogon’s necks.
– That is because they are fat.
– You are not skinny.
– Shut up and bring my Fancy Feast.