Godzilla reviewed by Kevin the 8-year-old Godzilla and dinosaur expert
Kevin is fascinated with dinosaurs and Godzilla. He’s been a fan of Gojira since he was 5, having discovered the Japanese Godzilla movies on YouTube. His YouTube handle (for when he actually posts a video one day) is GodzillaFan8889 (Dorski, his mother, has no idea why). He has eight Godzilla figures so far, the newest addition being Godzilla 2014 with Atomic Roar (a blue flame shoots out of his mouth).
Warning: Contains spoilers. (We’ve redacted the biggest ones, but still.)
* * * * *
Opening Credits
Here it is…I think this is it…(with a tinge of doubt as newsreels are shown)
Title
Oh my gosh, yes! It’s Godzilla!
15 minutes in
Ewww. They’re kissing! (the people)
00:20:00
Muto! IT’S THE MUTO!
00:30:00
It’s been 30 minutes and still no Godzilla.
00:45:00
Yes! I see his huge tail!
01:15:00
Ewww. They’re kissing! (the others)
01:30:00
Wow! It’s an epic battle! Fight!
01:45:00
I hate this movie.
02:10:00
I love this movie!
We totally agree with Kevin. Godzilla brings back the Godzilla we love. (We have no memory of the 90s Godzilla, just the urge to stomp something.) Director Gareth Edwards’ approach is Spielbergian without the rampant sentimentality. Bryan Cranston is its emotional core. True, Bryan Cranston can do no wrong in our eyes—we don’t care if others see him as a ham sandwich in a fright wig. Any chance he could be in Game of Thrones? (If Mycroft Holmes can be in the Iron Bank of Braavos, couldn’t Walter White be Jon Connington? The Three-Eyed Crow? The Mad King?)
Answers to questions you might be asking, unless you wandered onto this site purely by accident >>>
May 16th, 2014 at 17:22
I will echo the last statement. I love this movie. :) While not perfect, it was much closer in spirit to the original than the Jurassic Park version starring Matthew Broderick. Plus, it actually looks like Godzilla
And of course, it has one of my alternate timeline future husbands as the star: Aaron Taylor-Johnson. Never mind if he coincidentally seemed to be everywhere that the creature was. I look at the screen and just think, “He’s so pretty.”
Also, and I know they’re just actors, but I still find it slightly weird that Aaron Taylor-Johnson and Elizabeth Olsen play husband and wife here but will be brother and sister (twins at that) in “Avengers 2.” It’s almost like cross-film incest. Of course, I’m just being silly. Besides, the Ultimate version of Quicksilver and Scarlet Witch: well, that’s actual incest in the comics. Or twincest.
Personally, I found Godzilla more enjoyable as a popcorn flick than Amazing Spider-Man 2 (despite the latter having the adorable Emma Stone and the scenery-chewing yet still oddly attractive Dane DeHaan).
May 16th, 2014 at 20:44
THE PHILIPPINES…I love this 2014 Godzilla!!! (Roars!)
May 16th, 2014 at 22:35
wangbumaximus21: It makes perfect sense. We’re an archipelago on the Ring of Fire, disconnected from the mainland. If a primordial creature needed a hideout…
There are many species unique to the Philippines.
May 16th, 2014 at 22:39
allancarreon: We remember watching Kick-Ass and feeling pervy because we found young Kick-Ass attractive. And then he went off with a much older woman and we felt cheated hahaha.
Elizabeth Olsen: The Olsen who eats! A lovely presence, and even if she was only on for ten seconds in the Captain America credit sequence, her Wanda seemed absolutely loony.
Apparently twincest is all the rage in the fantasy/comics universe.
May 17th, 2014 at 00:09
wangbumaximus21: Indeed! I was hoping there would be more Tagalog dialogue, but I suppose the background chatter was enough. I just briefly wondered what would have happened if the Bataan nuclear plant were active. I suppose the brief news footage of Manila in Pacific Rim would’ve happened.
jessica: Haha yes, the Olsen who eats indeed. I am definitely looking forward to her and Aaron in Avengers 2. I think Aaron works better as Quicksilver than Evan Peters in X-Men: Days of Future Past, visually at least based on released pictures. Evan just looks like a kid (though he’s older than Aaron), and his costume in X-Men is just not good. Incidentally, Aaron and Evan were both in Kick-Ass. I suppose the casting folks were looking at the same pool.
May 17th, 2014 at 00:27
Tagalog dialogue would’ve been too much to ask for; they did not shoot in the Philippines. (Though we consider Hawaii a province of Ilocos). The look of the “Philippines” scene was too Sebastiao Salgado, as Ricky pointed out.
We suggest a cap on the use of “indeed”. When tempted to use “indeed”, replace with the archaic “in sooth”. After readback, you will probably take it out altogether. It’s filler, like politicians’ use of “if at all”. (Or us saying “Umm” a lot during interviews.)
May 17th, 2014 at 00:37
Your Grace, the only things I cringed on this latest installment are basically on Aaron and Olsen. For me, their respective acting are so bland and irritating. Seriously, Watanabe and Heisenberg (love Breaking Bad so much) are only humans worthy of watching. Other than that, I would have wished Godzilla just chop on that odd-couple, Your Grace. (Roars)
May 17th, 2014 at 01:00
that made me cringe
respective unnecessary
acting is
odd-couple?
had just chopped
Watanabe is a ham in this one.
May 17th, 2014 at 06:02
“In sooth.” New archaic phrase learned. This will help.
Watanabe looked a lot like current-day Guji Lorenzana, one of the Voizboys alongside Tom Rodriguez. A crystal ball for Guji’s look twenty years from now.
One thing I love about monster movies is summed by this review from the NY Times: “One of the pleasures the movie offers is the thought that actors who have done splendid work elsewhere … are being paid well for shouting, grimacing and spouting expository claptrap.”
The critic may have been sarcastic, but the splendid actors are the ones who sell the shouting, grimacing, etc. in a monster movie and elevate it emotionally without being sentimental. Definitely Cranston did that here, as did Juliette Benoche in her short role and even Sally Hawkins.