Question at Midnight #7
What dream have you abandoned?
Post your answer in Comments. The winner will be announced round midnight.
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The winner is dindin. Congratulations! Email saffron.safin@gmail.com to claim your prize.
Here’s the world’s tiniest violin playing for the rest of you.
Answers to questions you might be asking, unless you wandered onto this site purely by accident >>>
September 30th, 2014 at 00:48
To pursue medicine and/or law. I love biology, but upon the death of my beloved great-grandfather in the late 1980s…why pursue anymore for me. And law, I already saw how “respected” lawyers in our society, but knowing the trade-ins of being the so-called “defenders” (judge, prosecutors and even attorneys connive with one another!), better maintain my sense of self than being consumed by this so-called “high” profession (instead, I teach with students, more fulfilling!).
September 30th, 2014 at 01:52
To be the third Miss Universe from the Philippines. Damn that age limit.
September 30th, 2014 at 02:06
When I was in elementary and until high school, I had an inexplicable fascination for chemicals. I used to mix random stuff from my mom’s dresser (alcohol and betadine and a few other weird gunk my mom used on her face), thinking I was inventing Something Very Important. I crazily believed I was close to making new life forms, what with the chemical interactions in my makeshift petri dish.
My mom I suppose noticed the freaky things I did. She eventually bought me a book on child-friendly experiments (which, now that I I think of it, was perhaps not purely motivated by a desire to encourage her budding scientist son but more of precaution–she probably thought I was better off concocting stuff that would not end up in noxious fumes and uncontrollable fires.)
The delusions did not last. I realized that memorizing formulas were not my strongest suit, and while I truly enjoyed Chemistry as a subject, I grew into the realization that I would not be the best scientist out there, and I was better off focusing on other pursuits outside of building abiogenetic monsters that would terrorize the human race and would seal my fate as one of history’s mad geniuses.
(That being said, I was still very giddy when this piece of news came out: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/science/7745868/Scientist-Craig-Venter-creates-life-for-first-time-in-laboratory-sparking-debate-about-playing-god.html)
September 30th, 2014 at 02:07
Memorizing formulas was not! I stand to correct myself.
September 30th, 2014 at 02:09
To become a doctor (pediatrics, specifically). My degree is in Biology, and I even took the NMAT (and wrote a reviewer, to boot). But after graduating, I decided not to pursue as the thought of several more years of studying extensively just made me feel exhausted. So I started working (and taking Masters in Creative Writing).
On a side note, I have not abandoned my dream to be a pop/rock star with my own band, but I think that dream has abandoned me.
September 30th, 2014 at 04:16
To be unattached to a human who depends on me for its every needs and wants. However, i would not trade this reality for that dream. My daughter is the best dream i never dreamed (or is it dreamt??)
September 30th, 2014 at 05:24
Maging susunod na Brother Mike Velarde.
Noong 8 years old ako, lagi kaming nage-El Shaddai. Kasi desperada ang nanay ko magka-anak (adopted ako). Kaya tuwing Sabado nang hapon, bumabyahe kami mula Muntinlupa, kaming mag-ina, papunta sa Luneta Grandstand, bitbit ang baon naming thermos ng kape, water jug, Tupperware na may lamang kanin, kamatis, nilagang itlog at longganisa, at dalawang plastic na bangkito. Mula alas-otso ng gabi hanggang umaga the next day, gising na gising ang diwa namin. More or less dahil kay Brother Mike.
Dahil ang cool ng checkered at multicolored jackets niya. Dahil pumalakpak ang mga tao kada limang pangungusap na binibitawan niya. Dahil minsan, inaamin ko, witty siya (or at least para sa 8 years old kong sarili, witty siya). Pero higit sa lahat, gusto kong maging siya kasi sabi ng nanay ko saksakan ng yaman daw niya. Remarkable para sa adult kong sarili na gano’n ka-implicit ang paniniwala ng mga taga-sunod ng El Shaddai kay Brother Mike na aware silang pinagkakakitaan sila, pero okay lang. Sabi ko sa sarili ko, oras na pwede na ako, magiging disipulo ako ni Brother Mike. And I will rise through the ranks, hanggang maging kanang kamay niya ako. Hanggang sa kapag namatay siya ako na ang magsasabi ng “Emen? Emen!”. Ako na ang hahantayin ng libo-libong tao, maaraw man o bumabagyo. Ako na ang babago sa buhay ng lahat ng tagasunod ko.
At ako na ang magmamay-ari ng checkered at multicolored jackets collection ni Brother Mike.
Ano’ng nangyari? Nagka-anak ang nanay ko. Naging busy na siya sa pagpapalaki ng bata kaya hindi na namin makuhang pumunta sa Luneta Grandstand. Nagkasya na lang siya sa pakikinig sa radyo.
Ako? Lumaki ako. Baduy na sa akin si Brother Mike, not to mention baka hindi siya talaga sinsero. Ang tanging natira sa pangarap ko: ang hilig ko sa mga makukulay at plaid na polo.
September 30th, 2014 at 05:29
I used to dream of winning the first Foreign Language Film Oscar for the Philippines. Now, I’m just wishing that Lav Diaz wins it next year.
September 30th, 2014 at 08:02
I once wanted to build spaceships. Or airplanes. Or bridges. That died when I realized I had to actually be semi-competent at math.
On the other hand that dream of mine where I am an incredibly successful YA fantasy writer who owns a cafe baking delicious hazelnut desserts and is also head of a game development studio is alive and well.
September 30th, 2014 at 08:15
To be one of those nurses working abroad who get to earn and save so I can travel and see what the rest of the world has to offer. I don’t think I’d mind the job as much, considering the pay off but for that to happen one needs hospital experience and in our country, that job only pays peanuts (if it pays at all) and no one can survive on peanuts.
September 30th, 2014 at 08:28
I wanted to be a gymnast after seeing Bea Lucero’s Milo commercial but sadly, 18 is too old for this sport. Oh, and I was 18 a decade ago. I am also a frustrated ballerina but adult ballet is a thing now so I can still pursue that.
September 30th, 2014 at 09:20
I once said that the ultimate dream is to suck all the juice from life but alas, I now work for the government and it is sucking the life out of me haha. I see that dream sailing farther and farther away every.single.day. But watching that big boat going up a jungle, I’m thinking I can probably come up with my version of a big boat that will conquer this jungle called burukrasya. Trust Uncle Werner to inspire some madness in this lobotomized civil servant!
September 30th, 2014 at 09:28
To travel the world and not grow roots anywhere. To just drift from one place to the next, reading my favorite books, and live. But alas, I’m in med school. You say things like you want to be a doctor when you grow up and people will never forget, especially if words mean everything to them. You grow up and realize you want something else but it’s too late. You hear the ringing of a bell and you salivate to the thought of being a doctor even if you stop wanting it a long time. Congratulations, you have Pavlov-ed yourself!
September 30th, 2014 at 09:34
To be a writer ala Stephen King. I don’t have the talent, hence, I became a lawyer. :-)
September 30th, 2014 at 09:37
to be a housewife and have many kids.
THANK GOD!!!!!
September 30th, 2014 at 09:44
As with a couple other people here, to become a doctor. That was always a dream, or to put it correctly, THE dream. But I took Economics in college and have been working in the corporate world for five years now, in the development sector where I thought I could at least have a semblance of that dream.
But maybe I haven’t really abandoned it, given I’m enrolling next year in Med. Finally.
September 30th, 2014 at 09:59
The financial pressure of supporting younger siblings’ education and the need, thereafter, to maintain substantial income and physical presence for the beautiful people I have invited to this world, my dream of being a world explorer/traveler/chronicler took a permanent backseat in the order of my priorities.
September 30th, 2014 at 10:11
When I was younger, I wanted to be a lawyer. But aside from a very crippling factor, that is poverty, another reason why I had to abandon the dream was because of my Mother. She’s very belligerent and makes a lot of enemies. Mamumulubi din ako eventually just with all the lawyering I would have to do for her.
Can’t recall how many times she has gone to the Barangay Lupon to settle a dispute with a neighbor or a distant relative.
September 30th, 2014 at 10:59
When I was a kid, I would act out scenes from horror movies that I saw on TV. For instance, when Shake, Rattle and Roll III came out, I used my sister’s doll as a prop (the undin). In college, I did theater and started going to audtitions for TV. I appeared as an extra in a few shows before I said goodbye to my dream of becoming a big-time actor.
September 30th, 2014 at 11:16
I wanted to become a fighter pilot when I was a kid, and changed into wanting to become a commercial pilot when in high school. That dream never went anywhere, and now at my age/stage of life I’m actually already quite content at my work field. I still wistfully remember that dream every so often, especially when I watch movies with planes in the center stage.
September 30th, 2014 at 11:53
To become a straight guy.
I really don’t have the bullet presentation on as to why becoming a straight guy would really pass as a ‘dream’. I just thought that becoming a full-pledged homosexual is a struggle that only a chosen few had successfully battled. Ha ha.
Being gay is just a wonderful blessing (not that being a guy is a curse) because it opened a lot of possibilities for me to maximize what I am really capable of. Being true to yourself is not a bad thing after all. Instead of me hiding on my own cocoon and forcing myself to like girls instead of guys, I decided to follow what the cosmos have been meaning me to do for ages—and that is to let go of societal judgments and be who I really am.
Being gay will not discount me of the fact that I can still be a good person. I can still open doors for women, still have a pregnant woman take my bus seat and look as girls as the better the gender because of my undying respect for my mother. To err is human but being gay is really not a mistake.
September 30th, 2014 at 12:28
My abandoned dream – to be a professional dancer! Pop, street jazz, interpretative, member of a dance troupe, a Japayuki, a headliner, and what have you. Performance-wise, my body is more agreeably malleable than my vocal chords. A co-worker decades ago, had taken to calling me Bellestar (of Bella and her huge headdresses “fame”).
Had a moment’s realization of my dream through a group recital at the CCP Main Theater, as a participant in one of the CCP summer dance classes.
September 30th, 2014 at 12:43
I wanted to be a politician but had to abandon the dream because I don’t have friends and family in the biz and millions of pesos.
September 30th, 2014 at 13:01
I wanted to become a doctor/surgeon, and then I discovered my fear of needles and syringes. Now, I’m just content watching (and re-watching) Grey’s Anatomy and E.R.
September 30th, 2014 at 14:03
I used to dream of being a writer, a lawyer, or a literature professor. That was back then in high school when I was collecting Best in English awards and joining various English-related contests (debates, extemporaneous speech, and essay-writing contests). I planned on taking either AB English which is a good pre-law course in the event I opt to pursue law. Sadly, the universe has other plans for me.
Upon hearing this career plans, my parents countered that I should take a medical-related course instead (Bachelor in Medical Laboratory Science) since that was the rage back then and there are so many hospitals in need of medical technologists, i.e. those people in white coat who are in charge of collecting blood and scanning various body fluids under the microscope. They added that it was also a good course if I want to work abroad or proceed to medicine. They further argued that being a writer or a lit professor would not bring food to the table (read: would not be in demand abroad) and since I was the eldest child, I was expected to provide for the family.
Since I was an obedient child (more like someone who doesn’t want to fail his parents), I followed their orders. To my detriment. I got the lowest grade of my life (78) because I would rather read novels than study immunology and microbiology. Still, I graduated on time (without honors, a huge blow to my ego), passed the licensure exam, and is now working in a hospital. Instead of talking about the Bronte sisters and Dickensian novels, I am analyzing blood samples for the presence of disease.
Reading the previous posts made me realize that I’m not alone in having abandoned dreams. Somehow, that eases my alienation and discomfort.
September 30th, 2014 at 14:12
*these career plans. Oops.
September 30th, 2014 at 14:19
When I was in grade school, I wanted to become a TV reporter. Then in high school a biologist but took up computer science because I was told it’s easy to get a high paying job after college.
September 30th, 2014 at 14:22
To run away with the love of my life. Because she died.
September 30th, 2014 at 15:07
Just recently I completely abandoned my dream to become an OFW Vendeur in one of the Souvenir Shops along La Riviere Seine. When my French audio lessons got accidentally deleted and when my Champion French books (that I got as a huge bargain from MV Doulos floating bookshop) never got returned, I knew I had to stop ma absurde obsession de la langue Francais and everything French
September 30th, 2014 at 15:45
Have abandoned all hope of becoming a writer…and understanding calculus. I have come to the conclusion that Alan Lightman is a minor god. Or at the very least, a freak of nature.
September 30th, 2014 at 16:41
As a boy I always wanted to become a filmmaker, but I had to let go of that dream because one, it was too expensive to go into film school and two, when you graduate and eventually practice your craft, you won’t make plenty of money. But to my young mind – if I’m being honest – it’s mostly because I was just too embarrassed to be called direk.
September 30th, 2014 at 17:05
Being married to both Shaun Cassidy and Parker Stevenson.
September 30th, 2014 at 18:49
To be the second (and hopefully better) dictator of the Philippines. But I soon realized I was too selfish for that.
September 30th, 2014 at 19:39
I wanted to make a weekly webcomic strip. The plan was to get a day job then burn some midnight oil drawing. In the end, I gave it up to keep the day job. Too bad. I really wanted to make corny jokes about being a *stripper.*
September 30th, 2014 at 20:22
Fashion Designer. Not gay enough for haute couture.
September 30th, 2014 at 22:54
Belated happy anniversary! Mahirap ang salat sa teknolohiya… Napag-iiwanan.
I wanted to be an established novelist writing in Filipino and I had to win a Palanca, first and foremost, to be able to do so. College seemed to pave the way for me but the corporate world snatched my keen grasp of Filipino until I could no longer write in our mother tongue with fluidity and spontaneity. A couple of years after graduating and immersing myself at work, I thought I could switch to writing in English. I started working on a short story which I planned to submit to Palanca. Another couple of years after, I finished the short story and showed it to an editor based in the USA who was privy with the ins and outs of CPJMA. He said that what I wrote was fit for a college literary journal and it would not win the Palanca. He advised me to read more books, particularly compendium of short stories by established writers local and otherwise, and learn from there. Only until after reading good works could I outgrow my childish notion of writing, he hoped.
So I started reading. Not that I wasn’t into reading since I was four but I started reading (bold, italicized, underlined)–identifying myself with the characters and most of the time losing and finding myself again in their tribulations and successes. My early favorites were Thomas Mann’s Death In Venice and Other Stories, Franz Kafka’s Metamorphosis and Other Stories, Fast Food Fiction (where your delightful work about June and the obnoxious guy was featured), and The Greatest American Short Stories. Then I started reading novels by Kundera, Eco, Murakami, Coelho (Og Mandino-ish; I no longer take pleasure in reading his works but back then he seemed brilliant), and Byatt. With so much good stuff to read and so little time, why should I pursue writing when clearly I had no talent for it?
I have no regrets. I am now aiming for immortality (by not dying) so I could have all the time in the world to learn all the languages to find then devour all good books written in their original text.
October 1st, 2014 at 00:07
This contest is now closed.