JessicaRulestheUniverse.com

I had two and a half hours to kill in Abu Dhabi airport, and not being the luxury goods shopping type, I decided to do some research on the progress of the Filipino campaign for world domination. The Philippines is not one of the countries that immediately come to mind when one says “world domination”, but that is because people always look at the wrong criteria: wealth, or military strength, or imperial history.

Even if they do look at the right metric—global influence—their interpretation of the data is too conventional. It does not occur to them that the Philippines has been quietly taking over the world for four decades—centuries more, if you consider earlier waves beginning with the galleon trade—by sending out workers to build outposts of Filipino culture all over the world. The millions of Pinoy domestic helpers, seamen, professionals and expats out there are the agents of world domination, biding their time until we get organized and formally conquer earth.

Read our column at InterAksyon.com.

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We forgot to mention that every time anyone near us sneezed or coughed, she would cover her nose and mouth and mutter, “Ebola”.