Jurassic World, you’re no Jurassic Park
Somewhere, Steven Spielberg is laughing his head off. He’s credited as executive producer of this reboot, which proves that newer is not necessarily better. Jurassic World is so idiotic, it seems to argue that dinosaurs should return because humans are too stupid to run the world.
It is a measure of how far civilization has fallen in the last 20 years that the lead characters in Jurassic Park were two paleontologists and a mathematician, and in Jurassic World they are inept capitalists and a hot ex-Navy guy who’s forgotten that navy means water. (Okay maybe he was a SEAL but the movie doesn’t know that.)
Chris Pratt is the ex-Navy guy turned velociraptor trainer, and right off I absolve him of all blame in this debacle because imagining him naked was the only thing that kept me watching. For most of the movie he wears this vest thing that makes him look like he’s auditioning for Han Solo. In one scene he evades a scent-tracking dinosaur by dousing himself in gasoline, and then the movie forgets that he’s bathed in gasoline so he spends the rest of the movie as a safety risk. His character is supposed to have sexual tension with Claire, the Jurassic World theme park administrator played by Bryce Dallas Howard, but he has more chemistry with me, I mean his trained velociraptors.
Read our review at InterAksyon.com.
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