The nerd therapist is in.
To recover from a very intense month I am going to my lovely dermatologist Dr Mary Anne Amon at Derma 360 in Rockwell (which is under renovation so I have to go to her clinic at Makati Med) to get my warts zapped. Afterwards I will look like a chocolate chip cookie so I’m taking myself out of human society and declaring quarantine in my library. My wonderful, cluttered, neglected but deeply comforting library. Where would I be without the consolations of literature? And the second season of Better Call Saul.
Are you glum, dispirited, boggled? Do you need to talk? Post your issues in Comments and let’s see what we can do.
Answers to questions you might be asking, unless you wandered onto this site purely by accident >>>
May 12th, 2016 at 13:39
My default settings are happy and angry. I get depressed when I have PMS. I think I should be depressed given that my in-law stole from my Europe funds, my sister is not talking to me (siya pa ang mayabang and posting passive-aggresive statuses on FB), I live with people with bipolar disorder, and age is catching up to me. Pag nakikipaglandian ako ng slight, the reply is with the requisite “po” and “opo”, the respectful fuckers. Pardon my French, I’m practicing for my Europe trip. Ayun, pikon na ako. To top it off, our pipes burst like it’s winter and now we don’t even have water. What I do is I buy lotto tickets and spend my time daydreaming of how I would spend it. Better than cocaine.
May 12th, 2016 at 14:09
Three issues on various aspects of my life.
1. A friend whom I lived with for nearly four years has blocked me on Facebook Messenger since we parted ways a couple of weeks ago. I might have done something wrong but to be fair, I took care of him when he got sick. Is he having a major emotional upset or is he being ungrateful?
2. My sisters voted for BBM. Should I stop sending them their allowance if he wins?
3. I’m playing book bingo and I have a square that says “About Music.” Any recommendations for this category (preferably fiction)?
Thanks!
May 12th, 2016 at 15:37
Got your questions, thanks! I’m in a room with my face covered in anesthetic and tape, waiting to get my spots burned off. Sounds painful, is not. Will reply when I get home. Keep the questions coming! We nerds must look after each other.
May 12th, 2016 at 17:34
I want to do the same! I hope you emerge from this quarantine feeling fresh and fab.
I’ve been very, very busy at work. Being unemployed is petrifying but so is stress. Every day that I go to work I always think, I shouldn’t be writing or editing for a living. I guess my issue is that I’m super stressed and have no control over a life that attracts this much stress. Despite this, I know that I’m still ~blessed~. I want to write and read but I just don’t have time. I also want to be borta, but I’m okay with my lankiness for now.
May 12th, 2016 at 19:11
1. Still on career (thank you and Drogon for your answer to my most recent question) How do I stop deriving satisfaction from the approval of my bosses if the approval of my bosses is the only means to gauge whether I’m doing well? (Ie Im not in sales nor do I build widgets).
2. How do you deal with protracted periods where you just feel meh? I don’t think I’m depressed but there are just times when I go “so what?” to everything.
I hope we can pay you in kind some day (ie coffee, cake etc). 5 cents is a bit too low for psychiatric services
May 12th, 2016 at 20:36
Dear Ronigurl,
We must be from the same asylum. I had an argument with a friend who called anger a negative emotion. Na-ah, anger is a cleansing fire. It burns away the bad stuff. Holding it in makes people unhappy.
Don’t be depressed that a relative stole from you, be furious! Demand a confession and restitution. Of course family dynamics are often so screwy that that becomes impossible and you, the aggrieved party, are painted as the villain for demanding justice. If your sister takes sides against you, then she has decided she is no longer your sister. Who cares what she posts on Facebook? You have a real life.
Yes, aging is a bitch. The only defence against aging is immaturity. My dermatologist just underestimated my age by 12 years, so it’s working (True, maybe she is just super-polite, but I choose to ignore the possibility). If the people you flirt with call you “po” or “opo”, perhaps you should associate with an older age group. You really have to go to Europe, where people think Asians look younger and older women are considered more interesting.
Hmm, the pipes burst but there’s no water. Ponder this real-life metaphor.
I was watching Season 3 of Penny Dreadful recently. Vanessa Ives has fallen into a deep depression and goes to an alienist (what they used to call psychiatrists; I like ‘alienist’ better) who tells her, “I want you to do something that you believe might make you happy, even for a moment. It doesn’t matter what it is, no matter how capricious or unlikely.”
Good advice.
May 12th, 2016 at 20:45
Dear Angus,
1. It appears your friend is going through something. Perhaps he would rather not face the truth at this time, and hearing from you would force him to confront it. You have done what you can. Do not wallow in guilt, it is a useless emotion.
2. Cut their allowance in half. Send them a copy of Raissa Robles’s book Marcos Martial Law: Never Again and require them to read it. Then make them take a quiz to ensure that they understood it. Only after they pass the quiz will their allowance be restored to its old level.
3. But Beautiful by Geoff Dyer. Not exactly fiction, but beautiful. Or White Noise by Don DeLillo.
May 12th, 2016 at 20:53
Dear lestat,
Take up a hobby that has nothing at all to do with writing or editing. Tennis, knitting, dancing, running, MMA are good for working off stress. You can carve out two hours a day for yourself. Maybe give up social media until you’ve restored your balance. Make sure you get at least eight hours of sleep everyday. Two hours before bedtime, turn off all your gadgetry. And keep a journal, it’s as good as seeing a shrink.
May 12th, 2016 at 21:09
Dear greeneggsnham,
1. You’re an intelligent and capable person, and you are upwardly-mobile. Just keep doing what you’re doing. You have the approval of your bosses, now learn to appreciate your own efforts. We come from an academic background that encourages us to think that we’re never good enough. Screw that. The important thing is to like yourself.
2. I have favorite movies that I keep in reserve for blah days. Mostly old black and white movies, which remind me of my childhood when I was supposed to be asleep but was staying up to watch them. Inevitably there are days when everything seems pointless. Entertain yourself. Visit a part of town you’ve never been in. And bear in mind that the blah-ness ends.
Yes, please. The pecorino cheesecake at Lusso in Greenbelt 5 is wonderful.
May 13th, 2016 at 11:44
The universe heard my prayers and brought me just what I needed!
My father expects me and my kuya to stay in the family business until we’re old and grey. We are expected to be obedient. I was fine with it. I was ready to sign my life over to him. At least we are helping the export and handicraft business.
I’ve lived comfortably pretty much all my life and I wonder if that has made me lazy and unambitious. I’ve got a very busy 9 to 5, a roof over my head and a loving family. I know I should be grateful and content. I am. At least most of the time.
I wake up on a Monday wishing it was Saturday. I wake up on a working day and wish it was time to go back home and sleep. In the office, all I want to do is sleep. I’m very unhappy but I know I shouldn’t be. There’s a lot I should be grateful for.
I’m happy when I’m in my room reading, writing or watching a movie or three. I’m happy in a small theater watching a play. Most of all I’m happy on my yoga mat–one and a half hour everyday. The quiet of the practice gets me out of my head.
I signed up to train as a teacher and we’ll start in about a month. I’m so excited but I’m so scared because I know this is my ticket out of the office. I haven’t told my dad because I’m scared he won’t approve or that he’ll say, “How much money do you expect to make? Is it more than what the office gives you?”
I know I should be practical. Hey, we all have to eat and pay bills, right? What if I’m not doing it for the money? What if I want to learn so I can teach others, so I can help other people the way the practice has helped me? Is it selfish of me to go against what my family has planned out for me?
May 13th, 2016 at 13:12
1. My almost 2 year relationship is going blah. I’m still in love but the spark is no longer there.
2. I love my job but I can’t seem to connect to my office mates. And I;m starting to resent it already. I tried joining in activities, go out of my way for them but somehow, it’s still not enough. I really do want to get to know them but there seems to be no common ground.
May 13th, 2016 at 13:40
My wealthy father just died and we found out that his third wife, whom he was not married to, has wiped out his bank accounts through force while he was still alive. He was bedridden for quite some time so she can pretty much do anything she wants. He has three families all with children but we are the only legal one. He didn’t provide a single centavo of support when we were still little so that inheritance is our right. A third party opinion will be highly appreciated.
May 13th, 2016 at 14:03
Dear tricycledriver,
Congratulations! You have figured out for yourself what you want to do with your life. Too many of us are content to let other people make the decision for us. We take the “practical” route that our parents decree, and while it may make the daily aspects of living (where to live, how to pay the bills, etc) easier, it’s the formula for Thoreau’s “lives of quiet desperation”. Before anything one must know what he’s living for, because the survival of your genes is just not enough. Any organism can do that. But you—you want your life to matter. You’ve broken out of your comfortable cage. Life is huge and full of possibilities.
It won’t be easy. Money will be a problem. Since you’re going your own way, you will have to support yourself. You may have to downsize your lifestyle. The comforts you’ve taken for granted may no longer be available to you. But you will be fully awake and alive.
While you’re doing your teacher training, think of other income sources to defray your expenses. For starters your copy is solid, so you could moonlight as an editor.
Prepare for parental sermons. Don’t get emotional. Absorb the barrage. In the epics, this is the beginning of the trial by fire.
And if all plans fall apart and you decide you can’t live without financial security, you can always go back to the family business. Not everyone has such a solid fallback position. This is where pride is useful. Do you want to go back to sleepwalking through your days?
Now go do something amazing.
May 13th, 2016 at 14:16
Dear bipolar,
1. Take a vacation from each other. Do your own things, separately, for say, 3 months. Think about whether you want the vacation to be permanent, or you want to see the other person to tell them how your vacation went.
2. If you’ve given it a whack and there’s nothing there, you can’t force it. Be polite and friendly, and participate in activities when you can. Occasionally buy coffee for everyone, but go your own way. Think of it this way: you have more time for yourself.
May 13th, 2016 at 14:17
Dear Alunsina,
This is beyond my nerdage, so I will consult my excellent lawyer friend Bud and get back to you later.
May 13th, 2016 at 15:24
Dear Jessica,
The response really made me cry that I had to run to the toilet before anyone could see me! And you told me not be emotional. Couldn’t help it! Thank you for the encouragement. Best sign from the universe so far.
May 13th, 2016 at 16:19
Dispirited, yes. Troubled and paranoid, very. My peace of mind has been stolen from me. Now my free time would have to be reduced by reading the 1987 Consti and consulting with lawyer friends about possibilities which are too dark I dare not even speak about them openly (yet).
It’s a tragedy. I’m beginning to think and feel that this is a hopeless country.
May 13th, 2016 at 20:18
Dear antiquaryanne,
You’re not alone. Many people feel this way. It’s not that your candidates didn’t win. It’s finding out that all your assumptions about your country are wrong, beginning with what is allowed. It’s wondering if you are so disconnected from your own people that you may as well be an alien.
But we are committed to the idea of democracy and this is what the people want. We need to keep it together. Fortunately we have dependable resources. Don’t knock literature/the movies. This is the part at the end of The Fellowship of the Ring where Gimli says the fellowship has failed. Aragorn replies, “Not if we stay true to one another.”
More importantly, we have friends who share our most deeply-held beliefs. Look to your friends, and look after each other. I don’t mean “friends” as in the millions you interact with in the social media, or business associates with whom you have shared interests. I mean the people you regard as your real family, who know you inside out and accept you for what you are.
Your country is beyond your control, but you control yourself. Your task is to zero in on the thing that you do best, and then do it as if your life depended on it. If you’re a writer, write something amazing. If you’re a filmmaker, make a wonderful movie. If you’re an artist, create something spectacular. If you’re a parent, raise extraordinary children. If you read books, make other people understand why they must read. Be outstanding at something. It doesn’t matter if no one else recognizes it: you will know.
Live as if the situation were ideal.
May 14th, 2016 at 23:03
On Monday night, for the first time in my life, I see no problem with me leaving my country and changing my citizenship. I will not, but the thought made me so sad I sobbed. (There is nothing wrong with people doing that, of course, this is, or was, just my personal rule.) What made me even more sad was to learn that some of my closest and oldest friends, who I thought shared my “most deeply-held beliefs,” turn out to believe something else. I didn’t try to reason out with them because I didn’t know where to begin. Maybe, “Why are we friends?” I use to get angry when confronted with things like this. I’ve always been an angry person. I get angry when a guy in jeep throws candy wrapper out the window. My former office mates were scared of saying sexist remarks in front of me because they know how angry, and vocal I could get. Now I’m just sad it’s…sad. With all these new realities, I think I’m lost.
I’ve been reading a lot of Hitchens essays the past couple of days to keep me sane. I’ve been listening to recordings of Woody’s stand-up bits to make me laugh. We worry about the same things it’s funny. Although that Ronan article got me conflicted about my feelings for Woody once again.
My bearings are out of whack.
This thread helps in restoring my faith in justice, respect and fairness so, I think, I’m writing because I want to send my appreciation. Thank you!
P.S. I have new icebreakers: “What do you think of Martial Law and the Marcoses?” “Are crime suspects innocent until proven guilty?” “What’s your stand on rape jokes?” Basic questions.
May 15th, 2016 at 01:32
Dear bulan,
Hang in there. Some good will come of this. People are waking up to the fact that they really care about this country and they need to do something. Suddenly there is a sense of mission.
I think that if we all focus on politics it will only divide us further. Instead, let’s look at how we got to this point. How do we acquire our beliefs and principles? How do we learn how to think? How do we know what kind of people we are and where we came from? How do we acquire a national consciousness? From The Culture. From literature, art, music, theatre, dance, film.
For too long we have treated culture as a luxury, and now this lack has come to bite us in the ass. The creators of culture must fill the gap. I don’t mean they should put on didactic shows and preach social relevance. Just do the best work you are capable of. Give the audience something they can hold on to, something of substance. Make them feel that they are part of something bigger than themselves.
Clearly I need to think this through, but my point is, do not despair. We may be scattered, we may feel alone, but we are not powerless.
Okay I feel like Professor X with hair.
May 15th, 2016 at 12:18
Dear Alunsina,
I consulted my brother-in-law Bryan about your inheritance question. Here is his reply.
The law has always favored and provided protection to the legal spouse and legitimate children of the guilty spouse. When your father was alive your mother could have availed of legal remedies such as filing cases against your father for support. Your mother could have filed criminal cases of concubinage and for violation of RA 9262 (anti-violence against women and their children law). I hope that this time around, you fight for your rights as the legitimate family.
Our civil code provides under Article 777 that inheritance rights are transmitted from the moment of death of the decedent. This means that from the time your father died you have a right over the estate of your father. Now the properties of your father are considered conjugal property and half of those properties belong to your mother as the legal spouse.
The half of your father to the conjugal property shall be divided between his legal spouse, legitimate children and illegitimate children. The legal spouse and legitimate children are entitled to one equal share and the illegitimate children are entitled to one-half of the share of the legitimate child.
The mistresses of your father are prohibited by law from being his heirs and your father cannot donate property to them because such donations are void. Article 739 of the civil code provides that donations between persons guilty of adultery or concubinage are void. This means that you can recover the money withdrawn by the mistress of your father since the money belongs to the estate. The mistress can be made accountable for the money she took and criminal cases can be filed against her.
Your remedy is to acquire the services of a lawyer in order to file a case for the settlement of the estate of your father, and have one of you appointed as an administrator of the property so you can administer and control the estate. However, your mother should exercise her right over her conjugal share as the legal owner. You should also check the insurance policies of your father, shares of stock and government benefits such as SSS since your mother is the one entitled to these benefits.
Hope this helps.
May 15th, 2016 at 14:47
Ugh this reminds me I hafta have my warts zapped too. Witch problems.
Our company has organized a gay beauty pageant called IDAHOT Queen (International Day Against Homophobia and Transphobia) to be held this Friday and our line of business has chosen me along with my transgender colleague to represent our account. This is my first pageant and hopefully the last–the jitters and impending stage fright are killing me now. Buti nga costume, evening gown, at Q&A lang, walang talent at swimsuit competition (kundi lahat kami nawalan yata ng trabaho, haha). So this is my anxiety against the backdrop of a country struggling against its own conscience and memory.
I have two friends who have blocked each other on facebooks because of these damned elections. Silly facebooks, silly elections. They used to be really good and close friends before they stopped talking to each other and I want them to be friends again. Duh, we all work in the same office. Ewan ko ba. Do I just let them be or do I force amity between them again? Because I want to. But then I’ve always lived and let live. Will it be worth it–the ~forced~ amity?
I’ve always done battle with procrastination. As in extraordinary levels in which I just stare at the ceiling stressing myself out with real as well as imagined problems instead of reducing my movie and book backlog. Especially now that this hellish weather has made me more languorous, how will I ever get to write anything of substance? I think that was a rhetorical question haha.
Regards to Koosi and Drogon.
May 15th, 2016 at 19:02
Dear balqis,
You’re supposed to enjoy the pageant. The stage fright is part of the experience. If you didn’t want to do it, why did you agree?
In your haste to secure the Ms Amity award, do not discount the possibility that the two friends have valid grievances against each other. The elections may have triggered the break, but perhaps there were already existing issues between them. In my observation, close friendships do not end over trifles—the trifles are the surface but there may be deeper causes.
Granted, maybe they’re just shallow. Social media tends to whip things up so quarrels are magnified and nothing is resolved. Ask each party if they are willing to sit down with the other party to hash out their differences. If they decline, leave them alone. There’s enough plastikan in the world.
One solution to procrastination is to imagine what it would be like if you died. We’re not being morbid, just stating the primary fact of life. Will anyone miss you? Will anyone remember that you walked the earth? What will you leave behind?
If that is too dire, imagine that a writer that you admire asks to look at something you’ve written. What will you show them?
Drogon says hello. For Koosi’s reply we have to do a seance.
May 16th, 2016 at 08:10
Dear Jessica and Bud,
Thank you for taking the time to read and to reply to my letter. I forgot to mention though that my mother has passed away years ago. And that the children from the two other families are recognized by my father and bear his last name. Are they still considered illegitimate? My father also left a last will. The majority of his money (or whatever little is left of it) and insurance money was left to his last two minor children who are his favorites. It’s by a long shot that these legal questions will get answered the second time around. Nevertheless I want to thank you again. Your reply has given me hope to fight for my right.
May 16th, 2016 at 08:14
Correction: Thank you to Brian, not Bud
May 16th, 2016 at 11:08
Just in case the therapist is still in…
I decided to go ahead and give this relationship with somebody 18 years my junior a shot. It’s been a month and so far, everything’s great. The things that I was anxious about (money matters, pop culture references, erm, bedroom stuff) turned out to be non-issues. We’re great together, we have fun, and (surprisingly) my friends approve of this coupling. I actually think this could really be something.
Things are also great at work. I just got a quasi-promotion and a significant raise. So between this and my personal life, I’ve got no complaints. But I can’t seem to shake off the feeling that I’m due for a major tumble any minute now. It’s like when you’re skipping down the street and a robber/murderer/multi-level marketer’s waiting around the corner, ready to, well, bum you out. I hate that I’m incapable of just living in the moment, always inventing catastrophes even when everything’s perfectly fine. If it were somebody else, I’d tell them to just chill and enjoy the ride, but it’s me and, well, taking my own advice always seems to be an exercise in futility.
Thoughts?
(Also, can I come to the next hang-out session with you and the rest of the writing group nerds?)
May 16th, 2016 at 11:50
Alunsina,
Each case is specific. You have to consult a lawyer. It will be expensive, but if you want to fight for your rights this is how it’s done.
The other option is to let it go. Forget them. Live your own life and make your own money. You could be tied up in litigation for decades, and for what? We’ve seen too many people screwed up by the expectation of an inheritance.
I suggest you read Bleak House by Dickens and then make your decision.
May 16th, 2016 at 12:01
Dear hellokevin,
Overthinking! We all do it, being nerds trained to regard everything as a problem in need of a solution. I like to start fights to taunt him to go away. It’s warped.
The thing is to get your mind off your mind. Maybe do rote, repetitive tasks like laundry or dishwashing every time the overthinking starts. Take up cross-stitching or get a coloring book. And instead of verbalizing your anxieties, write them down in a journal.
In short, hack your own brain.
We don’t hang out so often but if you know one of them, tag along.
May 16th, 2016 at 12:07
Thank you. As it happens I’m looking for a new book to read to get my mind off this preoccupation.
May 16th, 2016 at 12:22
P.S. Anagrams are great for getting your mind off your mind. Start scrambling words at random.
May 16th, 2016 at 12:22
may mga oras sa buhay ko na gusto ko na(ng) wakasan ang buhay para kasing wala ng challenge natikman ko na lahat ng sarap yung tipo bang Dorina Pineda na iniwan ang ningning ng bituin habang nasa rurok siya ng kasikatan yung ganung feeling ba
ang tanong ko?
Kung ikaw papipiliin alin sa mga sumusunod ang eksena ang feel mong gawin kapag gusto mo na(ng) wakasan ang buhay.
a.) The Hours
maglagay ng bato sa bulsa at magtungo sa ilog na malalim
b.) Thelma & Louise
mag drive sa sagada at tapakan ang break papunta sa bangin
c.) The Best of Youth
sa new years eve habang may reunion ang family ay buksan ang bintana(20th floor condo) at lumundag habang SHOCK ang iyong buong family
d.) Palimos ng Pag Ibig
uminom ng sangkaterbang sleeping pills para 50/50 ang chance
e.) The Maid
maglagay ng tali sa chandelier at ilagay sa ulo at mag swing gamit ang ulo
May 16th, 2016 at 13:28
Dear swanoepel,
Kung wala nang challenge ang buhay at gusto mong magpatiwakal, e di pagsamahin mo na ang challenge at pagpapatiwakal.
a) Aliens
Habang naghahanap at pumapatay ng mga alien, pumasok sa airshaft kung saan ikaw ay mapapaligiran ng mga alien. Ilabas ang granada at maghintay hangga’t malapit na sila sa iyo. Pasabugin.
b) Casino Royale
Magkulong sa isang eskaparate at habang nalulunod, tanggihan ang tulong ng iyong jowa. Siguraduhing saksakan ka ng ganda.
c) Pinaka-challenging
I-fake ang sarili mong kamatayan, pagkatapos ay lumipat sa ibang bansa kung saan ikaw ay pipili ng bagong pangalan at mag-iimbento ng bagong kasaysayan.
May 17th, 2016 at 23:55
Hi, I just failed the bar exams this year. I messed up. Last year after graduation, sa sobrang saya ko, akala ko malaya na ako from stress. I just had to review, take the bar and after that I’m free so nag-enrol ako sa review center, pumasok ng 3 araw and figured out that the review center route is not for me. Then I started feeling useless, 4 taon after college, walang trabaho, puro aral lang, dakilang PAL sa bahay, so I realized, I must get a job so I did. At the time, wala na akong planong magtake ng bar exam. Homebased job yung naging trabaho ko. I planned to tell it to my parents, ang gusto ko sana, babayaran ko nalang yung pera na nagastos nila dun sa review center, then I’d skip a year before taking the exam. So I waited and waited until it became 2 months before the exam at wala na talagang pag-asang makapasa ako kahit na 24 hours a day ako magreview. I told my parents that I’m not going to take the exam. My mother was livid. Natakot ako kasi may heart complication siya, so I gave in. I took the bar w/o proper preparations. Minsan iiyak ako na hindi ko alam kung bakit. I tried to cram but all I could think of was me failing. My father said I should just take the bar and get it over with. He assured me na ok lang sa kanila kahit hindi ako pumasa. I feel like they made it about them. No one asked me if I’m ready to fail, but then I also know na if I fail, it would just come back to me so I kept my mouth shut. I was dreading May 3, the day the results came out. I knew I wasn’t gonna pass but underneath, there was this tiny irrational hope that maybe I could pull a miracle. Sadly, it didn’t happen. My father said, it will be ok, but I know it’s not ok. I can see it in his face. My mother would look at me with a look of disappointment. My cousins told me that they all expected me to pass. No one believed me when I said I did not have enough preparation. They all thought I was just downplaying it, that I was humble-bragging about it. I felt like I was going to choke when the results came out. Masakit pala, tagos sa buto. I don’t know if I am emotionally prepared to go through it again, but I guess I have to kasi wala naman akong back-up plan. Only this time, my mother made it perfectly clear that they would not help me financially sa pagrereview, in her words, “nakakawala ng gana” and I perfectly understand that. I feel like even if I pass the next bar exam, she will never look at me the same again. There will always be disappointment.
May 18th, 2016 at 10:35
Dear nasaannaangtsinelasko,
Have been in lockdown for three days. Coming up for air. Will reply to your note tonight. In the meantime, you could read about another law student,in Dostoevsky’s Crime and Punishment.
May 18th, 2016 at 18:56
Dear nasaannaangtsinelasko?
Before we begin, three questions.
1. How badly do you want to be a lawyer?
2. Why do you want to be a lawyer?
3. If you do not become a lawyer, what would you do?
May 18th, 2016 at 21:34
Thank you for the response.
1. Before I answer the question, I’ll have to disclose that I’ve had a lot of dreams before I dragged myself to go to law school. Initially, I wanted to be an artist, a writer/journalist, then a photographer. But while I was growing up, people around me would tell me that I should be a lawyer. I really did not want to give it a shot until my family convinced me that I can do it. So I gave in, afterall, months after my college graduation, wala pa naman akong trabaho. So to have a fall back, I entered law school. My law school experience is not that bad. There were times that I truly enjoyed it.
To answer the question, I want it pretty bad I guess, because there hasn’t been a day since I entered law school that I didn’t woke up hoping that I will be a lawyer and upstart a career in the judiciary. I mean, I’ve imagined myself doing it for a long time, but I still don’t feel the drive that my peers in law school have.
2. This one is tough. Every year, may prof sa law school na tinatanong ‘yan sa students. My generic answer would be to be able to help people since I intend to join PAO or the prosecutor’s office if I pass the bar. But truth be told, I want to use personally, I want to use it as a stepping stone for a better career path (except for politics) and stability more than anything else.
3. If I do not become a lawyer, I’d probably be a photographer.
May 18th, 2016 at 21:36
*I want to use it personally as a stepping stone*
May 19th, 2016 at 01:04
Dear nasaannaangtsinelasko,
So you failed. Suck it up. You thought you could wing it, and you couldn’t. You didn’t have the nerve to tell your parents that you were grossly unprepared, and now you reap the consequences. In the general scheme of things, what is the significance of this? Absolutely nothing. People fail. It comes with the territory. Refusing to learn from this failure–that’s stupidity.
If you are set on becoming a lawyer, take the bar exams again. This time, pay for your own review classes. Get a job and take the classes. Take them seriously. Live with your parents’ disappointment. It’s humiliating but not lethal. Allow yourself one last day of self-pity, then stop boring yourself. Life is good, though it may not seem so right now. Many success stories are built on failure. We will look out for yours.
May 19th, 2016 at 14:01
Thank you Jessica. I’ve been wanting to get that off my chest for a while now. As of today, I’ve already found a review center that my measly savings can afford. I haven’t read Crime and Punishment (it’s a travesty) and I probably would only be able to read it once the review is over. But hey, even Leni Robredo failed the first time, so I don’t really have an excuse not to try. Now it’s time for me to get to work. Until then, I’d keep the non-racist Atticus Finch in my mind for inspiration. Say hi to Drogon for me.
May 19th, 2016 at 18:14
Nasaannaangtsinelasko,
People who’ve never experienced setbacks never get to grow a spine. You’re ahead. Ovid says: Be patient and tough. Someday this pain will be useful to you.
Drogon says, Dracarys.
May 3rd, 2018 at 15:18
Hi Jessica! This is @nasaannaangtsinelasko. Ngayon lang ako ulit napadalaw sa website mo. My first year as a lawyer is fast approaching. I passed the 2016 Bar exams and hit the reset button. I now do litigation for a living. I grew a spine! Thank you sa frank thoughts and advice mo. That’s exactly what I needed at that time.
May 3rd, 2018 at 18:53
hampaslupa: Glad to have been of help. Hindi ka na hampaslupa ngayon (huwag lang maging mang-aapi).