We’re celebrating my cat Saffy’s 17th birthday! Today she is The Oracle (and temporary shrink).
Saffron Sassafras Saoirse Schmitz Zafra Safin-Sprungli
Happy Birthday, Saffy! Saffy is our very clever cat who specializes in the planning and execution of revenge plots. She is cranky, possessive, and the master of the side-eye. Her favorite activities are sitting on my notebook as I’m writing, sitting on the keyboard as I’m typing, and sharpening her claws on the book I am reading. She is the reigning staring contest champion. While she is a picky (but voracious) eater, Saffy loves all fried chicken so we’re having that for her birthday lunch.
Today and tomorrow you can ask Saffy any and all questions about your personal lives and destinies and she will answer them!
Saffy Strange, Mistress of the Mystic Arts
* * * * *
Dear Saffy,
May you have many, many more happy years to come.
I am usually a jovial person, but lately I have been feeling glum and anxious, especially when I read the news or see people quarreling in my social media accounts. There have been no changes in my living situation or my work, so it must be me. Sometimes I cannot bring myself to get out of bed, other times I cannot sleep. Help?
Gray Clouds
Dear Gray Clouds,
My human was in a similar situation very recently. She found herself dealing with feelings of non-specific dread. She also felt that she had wasted her life (her midlife crisis). Having observed her closely for 17 years, I was in a position to dish out advice. I told her to limit her exposure to the news (Do you really need hourly reports?), as it is obviously a factor in what looks like a global epidemic of depression. Fortunately for her she is not on the social media as it is too noisy and fractious. I recommend that if you cannot get off social media, you also limit exposure to, say, an hour a day. Instead of looking at their updates and photos, why not meet your real friends in real life and have a real conversation? Anyone who mentions what they saw on social media has to pay for the meal.
I hope I do not sound flippant. Depression is real and it is not a sign of weakness. Consider seeing a therapist. On the left side of this page, near the top, is the number of a confidential counseling hotline.
Under my supervision, my human worked on cheering herself up by reading comic books and cheerful novels (no Russian classics and Eastern European memoirs for now), re-watching screwball comedies and TV shows in which protagonists faced and overcame great adversity, and listening to very loud rock music with screaming vocalists. I ordered her to avoid people who, though otherwise lovely, tended to bring the black clouds. I orchestrated her break-up with white rice, soda (She can have Coca-Cola every other week because she loves it almost as much as she loves me), and french fries, not just because that stuff is bad for her, but to impose control over one aspect of her life that it is possible to control. I also urged her to regularly go out and watch a movie at the cinema, any movie at all, because it takes her mind off her mind and she can take a walk afterwards. Finally I reminded her to write in her notebooks every day, which she already does, because writing in cursive is therapeutic.
It took months, but the doubt demons have shut up. And then, while listening to well-meaning people advise her on how to achieve success by figuring out trends, metrics, and what everyone wants, the voice in her head (which could be schizophrenia) said, “You tiny, tiny people.” That snapped her out of it. What I am saying is: You can only be yourself. In gray times, take care of yourself. Cheer yourself up. But don’t talk about it all the time to other people because it’s irritating. And if the doubt demons return, do it again. You have yourself, that’s a lot.
Ciao,
Saffy
Answers to questions you might be asking, unless you wandered onto this site purely by accident >>>
June 15th, 2017 at 14:06
Happy birthday, Saffy! You’ll forever be close to my heart as you are related to Marat. I just want to greet you but I cannot pass up asking questions that deal with the matters of the heart. Love is for the weak, I know that, but I have the same mental toughness as Marat and Dinara.
This girl and I were dating and we seem to like each other. We are both nerds and inept in this dating game so it was awkward and took some time to take off. She met a pretentious ulikba who is dating the entire lesbian community and was smitten by her. She quickly dropped me like a hot nilagang kamote. Now the pretentious ulikba has dumped her. My question is – should I give up or should I keep on chasing pavements? And how does one flirt? I find it fake pero daig ng malandi ang maganda and I don’t want to die alone.
June 15th, 2017 at 14:17
Dear thegreatcornholio,
Thank you! I have not seen Marat since he joined Putin’s party, but that is totally in character. Yes, love is for the weak, but it’s fun and theoretically keeps the species going.
Cats have an easier time than humans because we don’t need that flirting crap. We just start yowling that we’re available and let the games begin. Bearing in mind that I am a cat and it’s all biology to me, I say start seeing her again. This time do not have any expectations of permanence, and consider that you might become hot nilagang kamote again. Just enjoy the time you have together. You might find out things about yourself that you never suspected. And if it ends, you will have better data on how to conduct yourself in the next round of dating.
Cheers and more cappucino!
Saffy
June 15th, 2017 at 16:39
Happy Birthday 17th birthday, Saffy! Stay happy, healthy and smart.
Two weeks ago, I brought home a little kitten thinking my 10-year old son, Jed would be thrilled to have a pet since he loves to play with my mother’s cats whenever we visit her. I was a bit surprised when it’s my eldest, Uno who is 11, took the responsibility of caring for the kitten. Feeding her milk, cradling her and even making a play pen that day.
Muning aka Una Miming F. Timuat, is a light gray kitten that I picked up on the street on one fine morning. There were no cats, other kittens, or human around so impulsively or instinctively took it home. It’s the first time I did such thing.
The next day, when the boys and I went out for some stuff, Uno nagged me to buy Muning some cat food and I did. But I don’t know if it’s the right one for such a tiny kitten but we bought it. He also yearned to be home soon because he said he’s missing the Muning. At home, we noticed that she ate slowly at first but she eventually got used to her meal.
Uno loves Muning and I guess she is attached to Uno. Jed too, loves Muning and they take turns in caring for her. Yesterday, Uno told me that Muning, as tiny as she is, chased a mouse.
We plan to take her to the vet this week for a checkup. What is your advice to a mother whose sons are learning how to care deeply for a kitten? Muning sometimes looks sad. Is it normal? What do you see in Muning’s future with us?
Thank you, Saffy and I wish you and your human a wonderful day.
Jules
June 15th, 2017 at 17:22
Dear Jules,
Thanks for the good wishes and, more importantly, for taking in a stray kitty. Cats are actually easy to take care of, being independent critters. Your kids instinctively knew how to take care of Muning. The vet will give her a flea bath, deworming tablets, and basic shots.
You and your kids have to decide whether to allow Muning to go out of the house, or to let her be an indoor cat. Indoor cats like me live longer, and don’t give their humans nervous breakdowns by disappearing for days. Also, there is worrisome research that cats who are allowed to roam freely kill too many birds. If Muning is to be an indoor cat, keep doors and windows closed. And you’ll need a litterbox. Also consider having her spayed.
Muning is a lucky cat and I see many happy years with her in the family. She is not sad, kitty faces are just melancholy. If she were sad she would be cowering in a corner, not eating or playing. She’s home!
Meow,
Saffy
June 15th, 2017 at 18:38
Hi Saffy! Happiest birthday! Did you watch Rafa’s French Open final? Rooting for Roger at Wimbledon! Sometime last year, I wrote to your human about wanting to break free from the golden cage I was born in. This year, I took the leap, having been invited to join the management team of the studio where I trained. The owners seemed to have appreciated my efforts and they hired me! The work is rigorous and I’m out of my comfort zone, but I am happy. My father didn’t take it well at all. “Para mo na kaming tinakwil!” he’d said and I felt like I was in a telenovela. My parents, in all my 28 years, have broken my heart twice. Once, in high school, when I came out and they called me the work of the devil. And the next, recently, when they felt that my wish to step out of my father’s shadow was a betrayal. I’ve always been the different one in my family, I suppose. I never quite fit the mold of what they expected. I’ve always known I was a little different, but I was never comfortable being so because I wanted them to love me. Is that so wrong, to want to be loved by our parents? But lately, I’ve been surrounded by people who own their being different. Some of them were kicked out of their homes. Some chose to live apart from parents who refused to accept them for who they are. They are flawed, wonderful creatures. And authentic. I didn’t know how liberating authenticity could be. I just wonder… would there ever be peace in my family in spite of their disapproval? Would they ever accept me? Should I even want their acceptance? Is it even possible to “be myself” and not be afraid of doing so?
June 15th, 2017 at 19:27
Dear tricycledriver,
I am having a happy birthday, thank you. We did not watch Roland Garros because my human never liked clay, all those looong points and sliding around. We might watch Wimbledon. My human retired from watching tennis, but Uncle Roger is back.
Congratulations on taking the leap! As you can see, it was the right decision. It is unfortunate that a telenovela has broken out, but in my observation the way to deal with melodrama and irrational behavior is with polite, cold logic. You are doing well. It is not your problem, it is theirs. Growing up and taking responsibility for one’s self often means breaking away from the parents. They mean well, but you are not their creature. You are yourself, you must respect yourself, and demand that others respect you as well. Hopefully they will come around.
Family relationships are always fraught. My human’s parents considered her a disappointment. She thinks this is hilarious. When you leave home, your friends are your family.
Cheers,
Saffy
June 15th, 2017 at 19:33
Thanks, Saffy! For your advise to Gray Clouds. Happy birthday!!!
June 15th, 2017 at 19:45
Thank you, kotsengkuba! By the way my human apologizes for the delay in sending you the prize book as she hasn’t had a chance to visit the post office. Soon!
June 15th, 2017 at 20:40
No worries, I’m still in the Middle East until end of the year. Thanks! And if by chance you someone who still has a copy of Twisted Travels and would want to sell, please ask him/her to reserve for me. Couldn’t find any in my last vacation. Thank you!
June 16th, 2017 at 08:29
I love you, Saffy! You’re the best oracle among Jessica’s cats and I bet you know it!
June 16th, 2017 at 11:16
Happy birthday, Saffy the wise!
Mine is not really a question but I’m asking for advice. Last month, I (male) recently broke up with my bf of five years (well, actually he broke up with me) because he is going to Europe and Australia to study. Although I wanted for us to still be together and work things out, he didn’t believe in long distance relationship and he believed that we would eventually break up anyway. He is leaving in November and our initial plan was to maximize the time we have together, but then last month, he talked to me saying that I should start putting myself out there. He said that it was unfair for me and he wanted me to be happy. Also, he didn’t want to be in a foreign country depressed, with no friends or family to support him. He wanted us to remain good friends.
But before all of this, I “accidentally” went through his phone multiple times and saw that he was flirting with his former student, a soon-to-be doctor eight years his junior (talk about a cliché). Messages like I miss you, etc. There was no history so I wasn’t able to know the entire conversation. He would delete their chat often. In one conversation, he even told the guy that he and I have decided that we would break up long before we had the actual conversation about it.
So now I’m depressed. I feel rejected, my self-confidence very low. I feel old and fear that I would not have the same connection with anyone. He was my first in many things. Although our relationship was not perfect, I felt that we overcame so many things, which makes me depressed and thinking that we will no longer be together in the future creates a hole in my heart. The thought of trying once again with someone else exhausts me.
Recently, I’m trying to move on and meet new people, but I must admit that my dating skills are rusty, and my flirting skills rustier. I also enrolled at the gym to go back in shape. I met this good looking guy last week for drinks and then the next day, he slept over at my place but we didn’t have sex, although he wanted to, which I think was a bad choice because he is ignoring me now. Am I too conservative for not wanting to be frisky on a second date?
Anyway, I’m trying to think of a question but I guess there is none coming. I’m just really confused right now. I don’t know if I’m making the right decisions. Is it right to just give up on a five year relationship, should I fight for it?
June 16th, 2017 at 13:04
Dear kracle,
Never inspect other people’s phone messages “accidentally, multiple times” unless you have strong reason to believe that they are going to commit murder (and even then, it’s a knotty situation). Breaking up is not a crime, though it feels like bodybags should be available.
If people want to leave, I say let them. If people want to leave, and then you discover (even through scuzzy means) that they deceived you (emotionally if not physically), count yourself lucky to be free of them. It does not make sense to break up slowly, over a period of months. Why do you allow them to have this power over you? End it now, and enjoy your freedom. You are deceiving yourself with this “I must fight for this relationship” hooey. That relationship is dead. To paraphrase a Python sketch:
“That relationship is no more! It has ceased to be! It’s expired and gone to meet its maker! It’s a stiff! Bereft of life, it rests in peace! Its metabolic processes are now history! It’s kicked the bucket, shuffled off this mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleeding choir invisible!! THIS IS AN EX-RELATIONSHIP!!”
You deserve better. Think about the times in the last five years that you were happiest, wish the ex well, and get on with your life.
Going to the gym is good if you really want to go to the gym, although running seems to be effective for people who want to get out of a rut. Meeting new people is also good, but if you have not gotten over the previous one you’re just going to take out your resentments towards your ex on the new guy. As you point out, you are confused, so this is a terrible time to embark on anything new. And do not have sex with anyone if you do not want to. It is not about being “conservative”, it is about self-respect.
You have to like yourself again. I think you should spoil yourself for a while, and spend time enjoying your own company. Watch some TV comedies (Broad City and Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt are excellent), read some good books (When Will There Be Good News? and the other Jackson Brodie detective novels by Kate Atkinson, where terrible things happen but the universe rights itself), and have lunch with your favorite people. My human suggests writing the complete, unexpurgated history of your relationship—not for publication, but for exorcism.
You’re starting over! This is a good time.
Saffy
P.S. Feel free to write me a follow-up.
June 16th, 2017 at 13:31
Two points for Gryffindor!!! (re:kracle)
Never thought Saffy is so good at giving humans advice. Thanks for these words, Saff.
Just sharing, I have a friend here who, out of fury, wrote a very long breakup email for his wife. But in all “pabebe” fashion, he asked us for advice before sending the email. Told him to delete the draft and write it again. If he can, he should hit send. He was not able to write it again.
June 16th, 2017 at 15:08
Thanks for this advice! It’s really difficult to think straight when you are in the situation yourself. So I really appreciate that people talk sense into me.
I really enjoy watching Broad City (when will the next one come out?) and Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt (just finished the latest season). I also find solace in watching shows with people in dire situations (The Handmaid’s Tale), and reading reddit posts on break ups and dating. I have not read a book in a while. I will find those, thanks.
You are right, he has a lot of power over me and I don’t know why. I think I’m a smart guy. I am well educated and I have a stable profession, but with him I am powerless. About three or four years into the relationship, I find myself agreeing just to avoid arguments, of letting things be to avoid confrontations so we can appear “happy.” For me, failure in my relationship is MY failure, like I did something wrong. Like I am to blame for not being sweet enough, or caring enough, or whatever. Instead of becoming myself, I would always think of the consequence of what I would do or say, and then act to what I believe would render the best result. I didn’t want to cause a break up. It’s exhausting.
It’s really hard to let go. I got used to a certain life I guess. I know people break up all the time, and couples spit after 20 years of marriage. But when you are in the situation, it’s really difficult. I know I don’t want to be with the ex anymore, and then suddenly there is this memory and I’m an emotional wreck, and then I am not so sure. But I know I must be strong for my sake.
June 16th, 2017 at 16:45
Happy birthday saffy! I wish you and your human good health. Recently I’ve sought professional help after having trouble with my anxieties. I could only assume I am having a hard time getting up for work in the morning and trying to be a functional human being because I am struggling from a long distance relationship with my boyfriend of more than four years. I have become paranoid and jealous, mostly because his online behavior has changed–we talk less and only when he feels like it, he deletes messages so I wouldn’t read them, and it just feels like he’s keeping something from me all the time (emphasis on the word “feel”). He would assure me over and over that nothing’s wrong, he’s not looking for someone else, and that we’re both okay, to the point where he’d get agitated and would stop talking to me whenever I keep bringing up the issue of infidelity. I decided to take the necesary steps and seek counseling, and asked him once and for all if he would still stay despite the process I have to go through. He said he won’t leave, but just the same he still appears emotionally distant. He would sometimes tell me that maybe I’m the one who wants someone else, since I keep looking for traits in him that he doesn’t have, like being sweet or affectionate. I think I should also point out that I travel to our hometown on the weekends when I can just to see him; he couldn’t do the same because frankly he is not financially endowed (he’s also trying to finish college so he could earn a degree).
Is there something wrong with my instincts? I still want to continue our relationship. And also work on my emotional wellbeing.
June 16th, 2017 at 17:22
Happy Birthday Saffy! I wish to commend your human for her efforts in superimposing lightning graphics on your second pic, very very Regal Shockers :p Wishing you, your human and fellow cats a good year ahead!
Kracle – wishing you the very best! Be yourself :) I wouldnt mind updates / follow ups either!
PS JZ let’s have lunch / coffee soon.
June 16th, 2017 at 18:30
Happy birthday, Saffy! You have a lovely side-eye. Life in Thailand is lovely, so I have no question for you. Maybe on your next birthday I’ll have one!
Kracle: if you need more distraction, I recommend reading Eileen by Ottessa Moshfegh, which I first read about here. It’s riveting, terrific, and will take your mind off your ex if only for a few days. It’s about this girl who feels imprisoned in her miserable, cold town, and distracts herself by staring at her colleague’s bulge. Also, Paul Tremblay’s A Head Full of Ghosts.
June 16th, 2017 at 18:39
Dear kracle,
You understand your situation and you already know what you have to do, but you are in a loop. The more you think about the recent past, the more you are trapped in that loop. It’s like being in Groundhog Day or Edge of Tomorrow. So I suggest that you force yourself out of the loop by doing something completely unrelated to the ex-relationship.
Volunteer at an animal shelter (CARA, PAWS, others). Redirect your affections to the homeless cats and dogs who want your care, instead of humans who don’t.
(If not an animal shelter, then an organization that actively engages in helping others.)
You’re well on your way out of the pit.
Saffy
June 16th, 2017 at 19:05
Happiest birthday to our dear Saffy, may you enjoy hefty amounts of treats and kibbles. All our love, Brewhuh, Bieber, Buster and Bathilda.
June 16th, 2017 at 19:24
Dear isablahblah,
There is nothing wrong with you, you are just too generous. I live with obsessive creatures, so I have some understanding of what it’s like to invest your entire existence on one individual. When one is in the grip of this obsession, nothing is too extreme or bonkers; the only thing that matters is to keep the obsession going. However, obsession clouds reality.
If you step away from your situation and consider your actions dispassionately (like a Vulcan), you will notice that there is an imbalance. You are pouring everything into it, which is fine if you are a saint and expect nothing in return. But your anxiety suggests that you do expect something. So you feel shortchanged. Meanwhile, the other party is swamped with your attention, which he may be too preoccupied to return at this time. Worse, he might feel obligated to return it, and guilt is a lousy foundation for anything.
I do not think it is healthy to concentrate all your energies on a relationship. You are closing yourself to other experiences, to art, travel, friendship and adopting cats. (You would make an excellent cat parent.) So I suggest that you call time-out. Do not see or speak to him for a month. Make it three months. Clear your head.
In that time, work on yourself. Do something you’ve always wanted to do. Take a class in something. Pick up a new skill. Go to another country by yourself. Read the complete works of Eileen Chang (She’s wonderful), or the other books recommended by our very astute readers in this thread.
After three months, look at the other person with fresh eyes and figure out if you want to continue.
If anyone should be the center of your universe, it should be you.
Tally-ho,
Saffy
June 16th, 2017 at 19:31
Dear greeneggsnham,
Thanks! She found an app that makes everything look 80s.
Here’s a Seiko shocker: my human was filming with her excellent crew recently, and when she mentioned the movie Huwag Mong Buhayin Ang Bangkay, she got blank looks. They had no idea, being too young and of good taste.
Yes, lunch soon!
Saffy
June 16th, 2017 at 19:33
Dear lestat,
You have three branches of Kinokuniya, we hate you. My human bought Eileen when you met up in Bangkok.
Does the Tremblay have actual ghosts in it?
Saffy
June 16th, 2017 at 19:34
Dear brewhuh23,
Thank you, I’ve been eating my way through a bucket of chicken.
Jacob says Hi, Ninang Brew.
Saffy
June 16th, 2017 at 22:43
Hi Saffy,
Happy birthday! If I were a cat, I’d love to have some catnip with you.
I recently got my dream job (writing/social media poster) but I work in an office and I’m not as productive as I was when I was writing on the side. I’m too distracted by all the baby elephant gifs on Reddit among others) and if I attempt to go offline, I chat or go malling and not do anything. My boss thinks I’m doing great and just basically leaves me alone. But I want to do more. I miss being needed by agents calling frantically for help, I miss my old job where it was a requirement to be a know-it-all and to tell people what to do. I want to extend my novel, and write another one, but I’m listless and aimless and letting social media suck up my time (but it’s part of my job to be in social media). I’m also fatter since I eat because I’m bored. I got a yuge increase but, paradoxically, feel more pressed for money now. Speaking of yuge, never have I prayed for someone to die before, but I am now. Jusko, what’s become of me?
Thanks for letting me vent.
Best,
Ronigurl
June 16th, 2017 at 23:44
Dear Ronigurl,
Thank you. I have been rolling in the catnip. Not “rolling in catnip” as in we have plenty, although we do, but “rolling in the catnip” as in upending the dish, scattering the catnip all over the floor and rolling in it while yowling The Immigrant Song by Led Zeppelin.
Your life is good! However, you are bored, so you cannot see that it is so. But as my human realized last year when the world went off the rails, there is something to be said for boredom.
What you need is a shock to the system. An adrenaline challenge, like training for dragon boat races or parasailing or some really strenuous form of dance. Or you could start a project, like going on 30 Tinder dates in 30 days and writing about it.
I wouldn’t worry too much. This is a temporary phase. Your systems could be rebooting. You’ll snap out of it.
Toodles,
Saffy
June 17th, 2017 at 13:28
Hi Saffy! Belated happy birthday! I wish you another nine (or even more) lives!
Ever since I was a kid, I thought of myself as a control freak. I believed that everything’s under my control and thus, when I’m facing challenges, I always thought, everything’s gonna be fine. I’m gonna make it fine.
You won’t be surprised that I got disappointed in 3/5 instances because I was wrong, not every single thing went fine.
At the office, just recently, this teammate of mine (and a friend as well – but we’re not that close) seemed to be a little under the weather. Although she’s a natural hypercritical person, her recent gloomy attitude towards work bothered me because I feel that she’s no longer a team player that she used to be.
A lot of people say that we should “choose our own battles” but I can’t help myself but be a little too concerned than necessary about her work attitude. Her life is her own business but I feel that it’s somehow wrong to be gloomy and pessimistic in a team setting, especially if you are a strong persona, someone looked up to by the junior members.
Being the control freak that I am, I feel that should be responsible for getting her back to normal (so we, as a team, can function normally again).
What should I do?
Thanks Saffy. Will appreciate your thoughts.
June 17th, 2017 at 18:18
Happy 17th natal day, Saffy!
My boss is like Miranda Priestly minus the glamour and good taste in clothes. She’s passive aggressive, a micro manager, and hyperventilates when her staff (that’s me and two others) commit even a minor mistake. She would throw you into the ocean and get angry if you don’t know how to swim.
I’m planning to leave, but I like my job and its other benefits. It’s also a challenge to look for a job in my field (arts and culture) so my only problem is my boss. Even if she’s not around, we’d feel feel presense (her toxicity) and get scared each time the phone rings. The team is always living in fear and it’s no longer healthy for us and has already affected my emotional well being (I’m already demotivated and commit more mistake because of fear).
Talking to her or reporting it to human resources are out of the question because she’s old and not going to change for anyone and the queen of the agency (a lot of people despise her but she strill has a number of ‘friends’ who support her). I’ve actually told her before (in passing) that I was scared of her because she gets mad easily, but that didn’t change her. I’m not sure if she’s fully aware of her awful personality and lousy people and team management. But they say that a true bith is not aware that she’s a bitch.
Last week’s incident takes the cake when she got so mad at me for forgetting a very minor detail during a meeting. She haven’t forgotten about it and would blurt out my mistake almost each time I see her.
I want to stay but I fear for my sanity and emotional well being.
Thank you.
June 17th, 2017 at 22:27
Hello Jacob! Lots of love from Ninang :-)
June 18th, 2017 at 19:03
Dear jeanngrey,
See what I just did? I didn’t answer your question immediately! This is to remind you, a control freak, that not everything is within your control. In fact the only thing that is within your control is your own behavior.
Your teammate’s mental state is definitely not within your control, and while it is apparently considered acceptable behavior among humans to butt into other people’s lives without being asked, we cats find it offensive. When I am strolling around the house and Jacob starts following me and sniffing my butt, he gets smacked across the face with claws out. (He got it after a few scratches, and does not do it anymore.)
It is kind of you to worry about your teammate’s attitude, but prying into her private affairs might just make her angrier. The most you can do is to let her know that if she needs to talk, you are there for her. You might ask her to join you for coffee and tell her what’s going on in your life, and then ask her what’s going on in her life BUT ONLY IF SHE WANTS TO TELL YOU. And do not judge her.
Thanks for writing, and let me just say that much as we love Logan, we agree with your choice of Cyclops. Watch out for the Phoenix!
Saffy
June 18th, 2017 at 19:29
Dear BatangMaynila,
If your work environment is so hostile that a ringing phone makes you nervous, it’s time to get out. Start sending out your CV and asking friends for leads. It’s a good thing you are practical and you see why you can’t just walk out until you have another job to walk into. My human is from the “Fuckit, I’m outta here” school, but then she freelances. We have to make sure we have a large supply of cat food at all times, in case unemployment strikes.
When you do leave, write a formal letter to your employer, cc: human resources, detailing all the reasons why you are quitting a job that you like. Cite specific instances in which you have been ill treated, and do not use the word “bitch”.
Alternatively, tyrants are so used to sowing terror that they are shocked when someone they usually torment stands up to them. If you can’t stand the mental torture anymore, tell her exactly what you think of her, calmly and without hysterics. What’s the worst that could happen? She’ll fire you. Will you get severance pay?
Thanks for writing, and thanks for working in the arts and culture sector, which does not get the respect it deserves even if it’s the stuff that makes humans human.
Don’t be afraid of your boss. Imagine what her life must be like. Why does she feel compelled to terrorize her staff to establish her dominance? What is she, Joffrey Lannister?
Saffy
June 18th, 2017 at 21:09
17! Wow! That’s a year away from 18!
Haha, Happy Birthday Saffy.
June 18th, 2017 at 21:47
Saffy you are such a realistic adviser! i love it! Happy Birthday!
June 19th, 2017 at 18:15
You got me there Saffy! (I checked the page every so often to see if you replied to my post!)
Today, this co-worker’s mood seemed to improve. She’s happier and livelier – compared with the past weeks. I didn’t offer her coffee, or lunch out,
but will do so once she goes dark again. And I won’t judge her.
I will definitely watch out for the Phoenix.
PS:
I loved them both. *sobs*
Thank you, Saffy!
Jeanngrey
June 22nd, 2017 at 16:33
I didnt know writing in cursive was thought to be therapeutic. I’ll do it more.
Erupted in laughter after seeing the second photo w lightning. ((:
Happy birthday Saffy! Hope you get exactly what you deserve in those nine lives of yours.