JessicaRulestheUniverse.com

The Desperate Man by Gustave Courbet. @WikiCommons

The Defenestrations
Chapter 5A
by Richard Allan Aquino

Part 1

Well, that didn’t work out.

Inigo woke up in a badly-lit room in a Bangkok hospital. There was an IV needle on his right hand, a scratchy robe on his otherwise naked body, and a 24-inch television at the foot of his bed showing Thai telenovelas in which the same things happened over and over again. He hadn’t felt this horrible since his first sponsored post for a Manila bookstore on Instagram only garnered 60 percent of projected likes.

The ER doctors had pumped the lavender oil out of Inigo’s stomach. His fake suicide attempt and the intercession of his coworker Nutta had prevented him from getting thrown in jail or deported. Although now that he thought about it, if he’d been deported he’d be home in Manila now…but with a criminal record, so goodbye sponsorships. Not that his deals with the organic artisanal energy juice, the fast fashion company or the fitness centers were of any use to him right now. His phone was dead. He had tried to log in to his accounts on the spa’s cruddy computer and on Nutta’s phone, but all his attempts were rebuffed by the digital gods. It was as if he’d ceased to exist.

His social media accounts were still up, but he had been unable to access them, or to contact any of his friends and family. His mom must’ve been hoovering tranquilizers since he fell out that tower window in Prague. Bet she regretted not buying him that car he’d asked for. Admittedly, he enjoyed imagining his prissy girlfriend Peach making a show of her grief with runny mascara. And then he realized she would use this to get a deal with a make-up company, and his stomach hurt some more.

Young Man With A Flower Behind His Ear by Paul Gauguin. @WikiCommons

Part 2

In his waking hours Inigo watched the American patient on the next bed entertaining his guests with the story of how he’d dislocated his shoulder running into an electric pole while escaping a furious alley cat. At least the American had friends who could help with the hospital bill, Inigo thought. This was a new sensation, worrying about money. All this thinking was giving him a headache.

Nutta came to visit him at the hospital with a frequency that led him to suspect romantic interest. This might’ve freaked him out in the past, but in his state of loneliness and isolation he was grateful for any kind of affection. Inigo found himself observing his new best friend. Nutta was probably in his thirties, but he was good-looking, had impeccable skin, and was even more fit than he was. He had never noticed their physical resemblance before. They could be brothers. And when Nutta got a haircut, the resemblance became even more pronounced.

Inigo was wondering how many followers Nutta had on Instagram when his meds kicked in and put him to sleep.

On the fifth day the American was released and Inigo had the room to himself. He was feeling like himself again, and he wondered if any of the nurses or staff could recognize him from his social media presence.

Self Portrait by Leon Bonnat. @WikiCommons

Part 3

“Nurse, when can I get out of here?” Inigo asked the young lady who had just given him a sponge bath. She was running around the room, chasing a large white cat who had gotten into the hospital.

“Mister Inikoh kha, just one more day na, our doctor want to test one last time before you go kha,” she blushed, for she had seen and touched his naked body, and though he had lost muscle mass from not having set foot in a gym for weeks, he was still hot.

In truth, he was not looking forward to returning to his secret career at Tawan Spa, but until he could save enough money for a ticket home, it was his only option.

Secretly, he thought, his Bangkok adventure would make a good memoir. He’d be revered as a survivor. Philippine media adored survivors. This would translate to thousands of new followers, lucrative new sponsorships, a new batch of discount codes…

But until he got this weirdness sorted out, he couldn’t even make plans.

And then Nutta offered to pay his hospital bills. How could a masseur, even the most in-demand male masseur at Tawan Spa, afford that? Of course, Nutta was no ordinary masseur.

PHD568 Young Man with Cap and Gloves, c.1515 (oil on canvas) by Titian (Tiziano Vecellio) (c.1488-1576); 92.7×70.7 cm; National Gallery, London (On Loan) UK; (add.info.: Collection of the Earl of Halifax, Garrowby Hall, Yorkshire;); Italian, out of copyright

Part 4

Nutta had saved a lot of money from ten years of tips at the spa, but more importantly he had millions saved up from his previous life. A decade earlier, Nutta had been a promising Thai telenovela actor, but his ascent to stardom was halted by his habit of arguing with his directors. This makes no sense. Why would my character do that? What’s my motivation? I’m an artist, not a piece of meat. One day he came to blows with his director and was blacklisted from TV and film work in Thailand.

Now Nutta saw a way back into show business. “I’ll pay for our tickets to Manila. You can resume your work as an influencer, and help me become an influencer, too.” He did not mention his plan of breaking into Philippine movies and TV. As far as he could tell, Filipinos loved Thai actors. One of his clients had even stalked a Thai teenybopper in Chiang Mai.

“Let’s do this,” Inigo said.

The spa manager was unhappy about losing his two best-looking masseurs, but there was nothing he could do to stop them. They’ll be back, she muttered to herself, while she wished them a tearful goodbye.

They made up a cover story: After the incident in Prague, Inigo had gone to Bangkok to recover from his injuries away from the glare of the spotlight. While staying with his good friend Nutta, he had reflected on his life choices and decided to start over. Meanwhile, Nutta asked one of his regulars, an immigration official, to issue temporary travel papers so Inigo could leave the country.

White Persian Cat by Tsuguharu Foujita. @WikiCommons

Part 5

Finally Inigo had reason to thank Bangkok on Instagram. But first they had to take photos at the airport. Inigo thought he had several minutes before his boarding call, enough time to pose for “candid” shots.

Inigo lined up at the ASEAN lane at Immigration while Nutta went to the e-gates lane for Thai citizens. Suddenly they heard Inigo’s name and flight number on the public speaker.

“Mister Inikoh, could you please come with me?” A female Immigration officer with a poker face materialized at his side. Inigo turned to his friend for help, but Nutta was already on the other side of the gate.

What happens next?
A. Nutta goes to Manila and assumes Inigo’s identity.
B. They both go to Manila and execute their plan.

Tune in next week for the continuation!

We are pleased to welcome Richard Allan Aquino to our writers pool. Allan A is based in Bangkok. Thank you, Pat, for roping him into our serial project.