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We all knew it would not be a rousing ending. Since Season 5 the series ran out of book, and without George RR Martin’s world-building imagination, the show became fan-fiction. And not even as good as your fan-fiction. Yes, Game of Thrones descended into bad writing, character inconsistencies, sloppiness (Jaime’s hand growing back, etc) and a desperate race to the finish, but on balance it was a greatish show. For ten weeks a year it gave us something to talk about outside of our own lives (We especially needed that these last three years), and it turned non-readers into fantasy fans—no small feat. (Some years ago I made a vow to myself: GoT can NOT be the high point of my year or a substitute for a life.)

This last season reminds us of a fact we’d forgotten: The books are always better than the adaptation. So if you are dissatisfied with this last season, go to the books. Don’t hound GRRM for the next volumes, write them yourselves.

All I wanted in the finale was justice for Ghost.

Here’s the spoiler-laden full closure recap. If you’ve not seen the finale, stop right here.

The aftermath of the sack of King’s Landing. Grey Worm is executing Lannister prisoners. Jon Snow argues that they’ve already surrendered, but Grey Worm is implacable. He will follow Daenerys’s orders without question, it’s what he was raised to do. I don’t suppose he’s ever read a book.

Tyrion Lannister digs up his dead siblings, and for a moment I thought Cersei and Jaime would be alive. Hey what happened to Maggie the Frog’s prediction about the valonquar wrapping his hands around Cersei’s throat? What we had was Jaime’s hand inadvertently growing back haha.

There’s a Drogon flyover, and for a moment Daenerys looks like she has dragon wings. Daenerys addresses the Dothraki (so many survived the Battle of Winterfell??), then the Unsullied. The war is not over, she says, until they have achieved world domination.

Shot of Arya looking murderous and Tyrion looking worried. Daenerys tells Tyrion she knows he freed his brother. He quits as Hand of the Queen, and the Unsullied take him away.

Philo 1 question: Who braids the hair of those who cannot braid their hair themselves?

Arya tells Jon he’s in danger, having a claim to the Iron Throne. Jon visits Tyrion, who tries to convince him to take the throne. Jon professes loyalty to his ex-girlfriend/aunt. Tyrion launches into a speech about how Daenerys has been corrupted by power, then he and Jon exchange lines that should be on T-shirts, like “Love is the death of duty.”

Tyrion reminds Jon that his sisters, who refuse to bend the knee, are in danger. Jon walks into the dark.

The Iron Throne sits in a ruined hall. Dany ascends alone, Jon watching. It’s an ugly chair, and people have done ugly things to sit on it. Jon, even mopier than usual, confronts Daenerys about her genocidal ways; she uses the end justifies the means argument. They talk. They kiss. Jon Snow stabs Daenerys Targaryen in the heart, thus repeating the ancient Azor Ahai-Nissa Nissa story, then cries.

Drogon senses something has happened to his mommy, and cries. He approaches her and tries to nudge her awake. And just like that, Daenerys Targaryen is dead.

Furious Drogon makes like he’s going to incinerate Jon (Can this Aegon Targaryen be incinerated? We think not, but that little bitch Viserys Targaryen was killed with melted gold), but it’s the Iron Throne he burns. Yeah, melt that sucker down, so much evil has been done in its name. Drogon picks up Mom and flies away. All hail Drogon, the true King of the Seven Kingdoms.

Bend the knee! I dub Jacob the Paw of the King.

Fade to black, signifying the passing of weeks. The Unsullied take Tyrion out of his cell and bring him to the dragon pit, where the surviving representatives of the Great Houses are seated, including Sansa, Arya and Bran Stark, the new Prince of Dorne, and Gendry Baratheon, looking lord-y. Holy crap, is that Robin Arryn? We learn that Jon is imprisoned. Uncle Edmure Tully has survived and stands up to embarrass himself one last time before Sansa shushes him. What are they to do now that the Queen is dead?

Samwell proposes that the people elect their own leader, thus inventing democracy in Westeros. His proposal unites everyone in laughter. Tyrion, who should be Master of Exposition, makes another speech. They should choose a king from amongst themselves. (They tried electin g kings in Poland-Lithuania. It didn’t work because the electors became too powerful.) “There’s nothing in the world more powerful than a good story,” Tyrion declares, another T-shirt (one I would wear, being in the story business). That’s like what Samwise Gamgee said at the end of The Two Towers movie. Tyrion goes on to say that Bran has the best story. He nominates Bran for King. (Yes, the leaks were correct.) Bran, being the Three-Eyed Raven, knows everything that ever happened in Westeros, plus he doesn’t want the throne so he’s best qualified. Also, he knew he would be king, which is why he went to King’s Landing. Bran the Broken becomes King, ending monarchy by succession, and honoring the sacrifice of Jojen and Meera Reed, Summer the direwolf, Hodor (Hodor!) and Theon.

But wait. Sansa and the North will not accept another ruler from the South, even if he happens to be her own brother. So the North gains its independence. Bran the Broken becomes King of the Six Kingdoms. Tyrion is once again named the Hand of the King, making that three rulers he’s served, edging close to Varys’s record (four). Grey Worm is intractable: Jon Snow cannot be freed. So the bastard who turns out not to be a bastard is sentenced to return to the Night’s Watch.

Jon Snow and everyone watching chorus: There’s still a Night’s Watch??

Arya won’t return to the North, she wants to go West of Westeros and gets a neater hairbun and new armor. Grey Worm sails to Naath, where he had planned to retire with Missandei. Brienne of Tarth updates Jaime Lannister’s Kingsguard file.

So no more of this destiny hooey that has ruined so many. Tyrion arranges the chairs at the small council, and is joined by Master of Coin Bronn, Grand Maester Samwell Tarly, Master of Ships Davos Seaworth, and Lord Commander of the Kingsguard Brienne of Tarth. Will they need a Master of Whisperers now that the Three-Eyed Raven is king? Sir Podrick Payne wheels King Bran into the chamber. Bran says he will look for Drogon, i.e. warg into some ravens and search the planet. There is friendly bickering in the council.

Sansa is crowned Queen in the North, placating those of us who read the Daenerys arc as the story of a woman who can’t handle being ruler. Jon returns to Castle Black, where he really belongs because every woman he has sex with dies (The Black Widower). He is welcomed by Tormund and the Wildlings, a hair band I would watch. And there I get the Happily Ever After I wished for: Jon Snow sees his faithful direwolf Ghost and finally, finally gives him a hug.

The End. Will another TV show unite the world the way Game of Thrones did? We shall see.