JessicaRulestheUniverse.com

Photo from amazon.com.

Yesterday the airconditioner in the living room was whirring and blowing air, but not getting cold. The average temperature round noon is 36 degrees, but feels like 42. May has just begun, and meteorologists expect this to be the hottest year in history. Where would I find an aircon repairman in lockdown? I couldn’t complain: I have food, books, and cats. Shut up and write.

Suddenly there is an infestation of mosquitoes in my house. The last thing I need is to get dengue fever or chikungunya during a pandemic (or anytime). Where did the little fuckers come from, my house is usually mosquito-free. Outside the house, my reliable mosquito repulsion method is to stand next to Juan, whom mosquitoes love more than they do me. I used to be their preferred dinner—put me in a garden party with dozens of guests, and a crown of mosquitoes would form above my head. Happily I have ceded this crown to Juan, who has field-tested every anti-mosquito device on the market and settled on electric zappers. When the zappers were new, he gleefully reported the mosquito death toll by counting each zap.

So the first thing I did this morning was to ask Juan for the brand and model of his zapper. Fortunately it is available online (“Fatal attraction for mosquitoes!”) and can be delivered in a week, cross fingers. Juan reports that his IT company is thriving with the work from home arrangement. His issue right now is that he’s running out of violent thrillers to show his 91-year-old mother, who requires the entertainment while she is socially distant from her mahjong quorum.

If hardware sales are ongoing, might aircon repairs be possible? I sent a timid text message to the building administrator, who replied that the aircon technician was in the building! O frabjous day! Callooh, callay! The tech arrived 20 minutes later, examined the non-cooling system, disappeared for 15 minutes, and on returning replaced the capacitor. The airconditioner hummed back to life. Thus I am saved the trouble of finding out where the next lightning strike is, so I can rig up the unit in the DeLorean…no wait, that’s a flux capacitor. And would I choose to go back to the past, or to the future?