JessicaRulestheUniverse.com

It turns out that I can live with less: no dining out, no shopping, no hanging out at the mall. A movie a day, three books a week, good writing materials, and cats, to paraphrase Truffaut. And food, of course (I read somewhere that Truffaut did not eat much), and cat supplies. Cleaning products. Skin care. I’m all set to live like a Bronte sister, but without the consumption. (True, if too many of us choose to become low-spending shut-ins for the rest of our lives, that will really hobble the economy, but then capitalism needs an overhaul after this catastrophe.)

My book needs are being met by decades of tsundoku and the arrival of review copies. Yes, if you’ve been buying books since you were old enough to read, and writing about them since high school, (and reviewing them in your column/blog, and running a book club), publishers will send you new, unsullied, un-dog-eared, vanilla-and-fresh-ink-smelling books. Much as I’d like to read everything and review it, I need time to write my own stuff. Usually I give the books to friends, and ask them to send me brief reviews “when they can,” which seven times out of ten means “never”. Unfortunately you can’t threaten your friends, so I’m offering this deal to near-total strangers.

Unfortunately we can only send books within the Metro Manila area. If you are amenable to receiving an ebook by email, we can send you one. The same terms apply.

Fill this out and email it to saffron.safin@gmail.com.

I, (Your Name), with delivery address (Complete address) and mobile number (Your number) do solemnly swear that in exchange for the book you will send me, I will personally write and email you a >200-word review of this same book on or before 26 June 2020. If I fail to do so, my eyebrows will fall off and my hair will fall out in patches until the obligation is met.

Your signature _______________

Will there be book reviews, or more people with no eyebrows and strangely-situated tonsures? We shall see.