The Weekly LitWit Challenge 7.0: What would you say to your 10-year-old self? (Read the entries!)
The winner of the Weekly LitWit Challenge 6.9: Wikileaky is kratienza for the leaked communique re the RH Bill. Congratulations kratienza! Your prize will be delivered to National Bookstore at Power Plant Mall, Rockwell, Makati. Please claim it at the Customer Service counter within 6 months. Thanks.
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Last week we had to watch a lot of TV commercials for an article we were writing. We don’t watch television and we were surprised at how much we enjoyed our research. Among our favorites were this ad in which a 10-year-old boy meets his future self, aged 60. Which got us to thinking: If we find ourselves in the Twilight Zone speaking to our ten-year-old selves, what would we say to her?
That’s where we got the idea for this week’s LitWit assignment. Through some strange cosmic occurrence you (at your current age) find yourself speaking to the 10-year-old you. What would you say? What advice would you give yourself? Would you lie and pretend that all the wishes you had at age ten have come true? Or would you try to warn yourself and give specific instructions that might change your future (i.e. Don’t marry that one!)?
1,000 words or less, due at noon on Sunday, 18 September 2011. The prize:
Ransom, David Malouf’s vigorous and moving rendition of an episode in the Trojan War.
Start talking to yourself.
The Weekly LitWit Challenge is brought to you by our friends at National Bookstore.
Answers to questions you might be asking, unless you wandered onto this site purely by accident >>>
September 13th, 2011 at 10:52
I don’t if you have heard of this news, but it’s certainly interesting for cat people!
Green Glowing Cats are AIDS Free
http://au.ibtimes.com/articles/212571/20110913/green-glowing-cats-are-aids-free.htm
September 13th, 2011 at 18:19
Fergie was lying when she said that big girls do not cry. Let me tell you, little Kristine, about the harsh realities of life.
I heard earlier that you want to become an astronaut when you grow up. You will never be one. However, you may end up marrying one so just chill. You will actually end up to be someone you never imagined yourself to be. You will become a nurse. Remember, you are a Filipina. Being a nurse is somehow injected in your veins. You belong to a race of hospitable and patient people so it should not come as a surprise. In addition to that, fate brought you to a foreign land wherein one of the thriving professions is nursing. Yes, the future Kristine is surviving on an era wherein it is indeed tough to even find a job.
Love is one of the concepts that you will hate mostly. Your path is finding ” the one” is filled with men who generally do not give a crap to how you will feel. Be choosy. I repeat, be choosy. Do not just settle for anybody. Take utmost care of both your heart and body. Both of them are not playgrounds. One more fact that you should know about men is that they seem delighted in promising you the stars and the moon. The man that you will choose better prove his intention in a more obtainable manner. Say a designer purse. When he say he is different from other guys, ask him whether he has a “dangling entity” between his legs. If he says yes, run to the nearest exit. If he answers no, he is truly different. Rejoice.
It is crucial for you to master the handling of trust towards people. It is not synonymous to a candy that you can readily share with anyone. It is comparable to gold, valuable and desirable. The moment you bestow it to someone, prepare to get hurt. People enjoy taking advantage of it. Having said that, if anyone approaches you to have it, offer a chocolate. Later tell that person, ” Gump’s momma said that life is like a box of chocolate so I decided to give you one hoping it will satisfy you.” Do not forget to smirk.
I try my best everyday to give the future that you deserve. Believe me, it is difficult. I feel like I am answering numerous essay questions each day that I spend here in this world. I do not want to give up though. My heart believes that one day, I will find that rainbow that will perpetually give color to my life, your life. But for now, go back to bed and rest. Tomorrow, when you wake up, you will see me once again, dancing and singing to the tune of Lady Gaga’s “You and I.” =)
September 14th, 2011 at 08:57
That guy you’re gonna meet when you’re 17? Walk away.
September 14th, 2011 at 14:30
Hey, you boy! Drop that book you are reading now and listen to me. No, this is not a Tuesdays with Morrie rerun. What I am going to tell you is not only applicable on Fridays but on every waking day of your life. Get a pen and a paper and we are all set.
1. Reading is good but do not overdo it. Go out and play just like every ten-year old child does. Smell the still-fresh air for it will be polluted five years from now. Run on the hills, lay on the grass, get stung by bees, and swim on still-pristine rivers. Play with the neighborhood kids and assign each other nicknames. Crawl on the ground, get dirty, and get sick. Enjoy the scenery. Enjoy outside.
Don’t mistake me. True, playing on the library with Ulysses, Oliver Twist, Nancy Drew, the Hardy Boys, and Frodo Baggins seems to be a better fare. But then, you are only using your mind. You have many organs on your body that will benefit from the fresh air, the cool sensation of the rivers, and the ray of sunshine.In fact, you will become healthier since you will develop antibodies against any parasite or bacteria that you might encounter outside. Don’t overdo playing also. Balance is the key.
Don’t be like me who started reading at a young age and grew up excelling on academics yet failing on P.E. I know the capitals of all countries and their currencies yet I don’t know how to ride a bike. Don’t be like me. You still have time.
2. I know you are having doubts about your sexuality. You seem to find men more attractive than women even if you are required by the society to feel otherwise. If you are really sure that you are gay, then go on. But if you are unsure, I suggest that you reflect first before you don that feather boa and sing “I Am What I Am.”
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Being gay is an affliction on your world. You will find yourself subjected to endless slurs and teasings. You will risk being disowned by your religiously-motivated parents. You will be maligned by men who will ask you for money in exchange for some favors. You will be treated as second-class. Remember the Holocaust Jews that you read on your history book? You will feel like them. Never believe that discrimination is over. It is still ongoing. If you decide on being gay, which I know you will, then prepare for emotional annihilations. Fight.
3. Be firm on your decisions. Don’t be fickle-minded. If you want to enroll at Philippine Science and you pass the exam, then go there. If you want to proceed to the State University for your college degree, then go there. Fight for your future. Your parents may opt to steer you to a different direction but you must remember to hold your ground. Wipe the floor with your parents. They are not you.
Don’t be like me who was forced to give up my PhilSci dreams to enroll to a Catholic school ran by greedy nuns and taught by teachers who have never passed the Licensure Exam for Teachers. I was also forced to give up my UPCAT passing score and my Diliman Political Science course to pursue an allied medical course because it is what’s the rage nowadays..
Defying your parents does not mean that you are disrespecting them. It means that they have a child who is thinking. That alone should make them proud.
4. Never watch a romantic comedy film. They will only make you swoon for two hours then leave you nothing afterwards. These films give the impression that handsome rich men will plummet down for down-on-their-luck women. This does not happen in real life. Being gay makes watching these films unbearable.
5. Never register on any social-networking site. You do not know what is that? Wait for two years and you will meet Friendster; count three more years and Facebook and Twitter will debut. These sites will offer you nothing. Choose real and lasting friendships.
6. If you fall in love, always use protection. In your adulthood, you will be exposed to many gay men. This might lead to one-night stands, flings, and romantic attachments. If you find yourself in these situations, always use protection. Diseases caused by irresponsible sexual contact such as AIDS, which is unfairly attributed only to gays, are rampant. Better protect yourself. Or better yet, abstain. Prevention is better than cure.
7. Never be grade-conscious. They are just numbers. Never compare yourself to students who doesn’t know how to get a life. As I have said in Number 1, balance is the key.
8. Bear in mind that this world is reeking with evil. Don’t expect world peace and photo-ops where Palestinian and Israeli leaders are smiling. Everyone is competing to survive. Bombs will detonate. Wars will be declared. You should know how to adapt to the zeitgeist.
9.Never waste a single moment of your life. You are still ten-years old. You still have many things to do. Enjoy life. Even if I am eight years older than you are, I know you’ll do fine.
September 14th, 2011 at 14:35
*typo: What I am going to tell you is not only applicable on Tuesdays but on every waking day of your life
September 14th, 2011 at 15:37
By telling you these things, I run the risk of providing you too much information. Which might cause you to do things a little bit too differently, which, if you’re not careful might cause increasingly greater ripples upon society and change history as I knew it. Butterfly effect and all that. Which would stilll be okay. But it might end up invalidating some of the other information I’ll be giving you, leaving you forever puzzled and when you’re on your death bed you’d be all, “what the fuck did he mean by “bet huge sums of money on Manny Pacquiao fights” who the hell is Manny Pacquiao?”
Well, that’s tip number one. When you need capital, bet huge sums of money on Manny Pacquiao fights. He’s going to be this Filipino boxer and you can probably get rich off bets made on his fights, specially during the early days when he was still a betting underdog and he started fighting much bigger guys. So, that’s for your quick source of money.
The next thing I want to tell you is to invent Facebook. You don’t have to call it exactly that. But listen, here’s what it is: the way for you to become a multi-billionaire. By the time you’re about 18, a huge portion of the world’s households would have about one computer each. You might not have heard of this word before, “Internet”, that’s kind of a system where most computers in these houses would be linked with each other. As soon as you can get to a libray, read up all you can on what this word means, its history. What’s going to happen is it’s going to play a huge part in how most people would be living their lives. I don’t mean anything like people are going to be inside this “Internet” like in some sort of Virtual Reality environment, although that might happen too, in my–our –future. But businesses, governments, and people would be doing their official and leisure transactions on this Internet.
So, Facebook. It’s hard to explain but each person would have their own page on this Facebook. They put up their pictures on it, video, music, whatever else they might want to. They basically share information about themselves to other people who could simply use their own computers to view other people’s pages. They can send messages to each other, broadcast to a virtually unlimited number of people news about themselves like, “ hey this person and I are now boyfriend-girlfriend” and other people would be all, “wow, that’s great!” If you find this weird, don’t worry, usually it’s just the people who they know “In Real Life” like family, friends, classmates, who can read these things. What’s going to happen is, this Facebook, this Social Network would end up having billions of members in it each wanting to use the service to communicate with their friends or to basically just exist in this thing called the Internet.
What I hope you would do is invent this Facebook that I speak of. No, I certainly didn’t invent it, I’m just a Facebook user as well. But if by, say, 1998, you already know things like computer programming and how to create pages for the “World Wide Web,” and the knowledge of how utterly world-changing social networks will become, you’ll have all you’ll need to invent your own Facebook. Precursors to Facebook with names like Friendster and Multiply would already be arriving very soon at that point so you better be quick and start writing the code.
Oh, yeah, you still have to make it cool and trendy so people would want to create a page for themselves in this system and then afterwards recommend it to their own friends. That’s what we in this time call “viral,” because it spreads like a virus. So, you have to always have some knowledge of what other people think is cool at any given point. Which brings me to my next point. As early as now, you also have to work on your social skills. Not that the nerd who invented Facebook in my reality had great social skills, but he did have other people helping him out.
Let’s not put all our eggs in one basket. So, if you don’t end up inventing Facebook here are some other tips for you. Search engines are probably an even bigger thing than Facebook. Look them up in the school library and magazines about computers. See if you’d like to work on search engines instead. You have about five years before Google comes into existence.
There’s this thing called Twitter. People type short status messages on twitter on the Internet and say things like, “Got home at 5. Ate a chicken sandwich. Yum.” But the catch is, they only have about 140 characters to use on these messages. I don’t really know how that one becomes big, but it does. Try to invent Twitter.
So, that’d be about it for my professional advice for you. What you do with that knowledge is pretty much up to you. I’m also going to give you some reassurance. I’m from 2011. You can be 100% certain that at least up to my present time, you won’t get crushed underneath a building due to an earthquake or anything like that. Well, as long as you’re anywhere in Metro Manila. So yes, you can follow your dreams and live in some high-rise building with a view or something like that without needing to buy a parachute.
September 14th, 2011 at 16:25
1. Some five years from now, you might be considering of entering a discipline that you think will help you fulfill your dreams, I suggest weigh in your options and choose what you would really enjoy doing in the future.
2. Don’t be blinded by the boy who would pique your curiosity two years from now. Yes, he has good taste in music, he carries himself well and he look mysterious enough for you but you have to resist wanting him because you might just be on your way to ruining your life.
3. Keep your diary in the safest place possible. Remember to write about the most memorable and the most mundane things you experience.
4. Enjoy your childhood and show your love to your family.
5. Do all of this and you will never dwell in regrets.
September 15th, 2011 at 00:32
Of all the scenes you first had to spank your monkey to, it had to be that scene where Matet de Leon was getting raped in “Sa Dulo ng Walang Hanggan.” It’s a surefire way to get loads of laughs/looks of disgust/both from the people you will tell it to when you grow up, but God, really? And you were ten?? No wonder you’re so twisted and hormonal now.
September 15th, 2011 at 03:28
A Danish philosopher named Soren Kierkegaard once said that life is lived forwards but understood backwards, or something like that. But thank God for this cosmic alteration of the space-time, you – I mean we, have a chance to reverse just that. So listen to me carefully. Take notes if you must.
You’re still ten years old. Maybe you are now in grade four or five. I know it is still too early but I want you to decide right now what you want to do with your life. It might seem lightyears away from college but boy, time runs fast. Don’t listen to your parents regarding this or anyone at all. Your life is yours to create. Don’t go worrying about money or prestige when choosing. When you’re unhappy, these things won’t matter at all.
Now, since I understand you the most, I feel compelled to give some pointers. Avoid business, finance and economics. You were never interested in them. Don’t try engineering too. Engineering in the Philippines sucks big time. And most of all, avoid law school. I am enrolled in one right now and I am hating every minute of it. If I may suggest some fields, try philosophy, computer science or mathematics. (Yes, I regret not finishing a degree in one of these fields. I followed Dad’s advice and took up Accountancy. I wasn’t a bad student but life was miserable. I sort of hated Dad for forcing me to take up such an uninteresting course).
Start as early as now. Don’t wait for the damn educational system to learn things. Read a lot. Read books that are good. Don’t ever buy those ridiculous Philippine Ghost Stories. Instead, invest in good books. Buy the classics, you’ll never go wrong with those. Buy advance math books and try solving problems. Math is hard but you’ll be pleased to know that you are a late bloomer in this. Just persevere.
Lastly and arguably the most important thing, brush your teeth regularly. You can ignore everything I said except this. Yes, it’s that important. For you can fuck up everything, from academics to career to love life and it will all be fine as long as you can smile with great teeth and live a toothache free existence.
September 15th, 2011 at 03:52
Listen up, 10 year old me:
1. Never perm your hair. EVER. Life as a poodle is not attractive.
2. The answer is C. Corn was used for currency. That’s your ticket to a gold medal at the 1989 Academic Decathlon Super Quiz. So you wont have to mentally kick yourself over and over for missing that one question.
3. Fall in love and fall on your face. It’s ok. That’s the only way you’ll learn.
4. Dont waste your time plotting revenge. Karma is a big bad bitch.. and she will take care of all the people who do you wrong. You might have to wait a while, but trust me. What goes around eventually comes around. It sucks right now but you will have the last laugh. Promise.
5. Dont let Mom take you to Max for your 9th grade color and pin night fashion show. You’ll end up looking like a 50 year old hag.
Enjoy life.. it’s not as bad as you think it is. And the worst thing will never come so never lose faith.
September 15th, 2011 at 09:14
You don’t know me but I know you very well. You are a crybaby, you cry over the smallest things. In fact 13 years from now you still cry a lot. Just thinking about that journey makes me teary eyed. No it’s not just because of pain, there a LOT of great things actually so listen to me, okay?
A year from now, you’ll fall in love with music. You’ll be a boyband fanatic. The Moffatts will be your favorite band so try saving more from your allowance, I know how small it is but those tapes and posters are really awesome so don’t forget to buy them. Try listening also to Nirvana and the Eraserheads, trust me they’re good. And oh, you will meet your first crush! I won’t tell his name but you will meet him in your first club meeting so girl, keep your eyes open!
Friends will come and go but your bestfriends will always be there for you through thick and thin. Highschool will teach you that. Join different organizations and extra-curricular activities but never neglect your academics. You will also love anime and books and I know that you will save money just to buy those books, magazines and CDs that you love. Again, please take care of them. Keep them in your room because Mother will burn them or throw them away. She finds anime characters hideous! Seriously! Value those things because a few years later, all those books, music, TV series can be downloaded in the internet.
You’ll learn about internet and mobile phones. But your parents will not buy you your own phone until you reach 1st year college so enjoy those moments where technology will never control your happiness. Hmmm, about college.. you will survive it and in the end you’ll be very proud of yourself. There are moments that you will feel so down but don’t do it alone, you will have friends to lean on. And your parents and sister are always there for you. Don’t take them for granted just because of your ambitions. And always visit Inang when you can, sleepover at her house, ask her to tell you stories about fairies, ghosts and Ibong Adarna. Tell your relatives to visit her more often. She’s not going to last long, yes sadly after your college graduation she will go to heaven.
When you start working on your first job, be strong and I really mean be strong. Always listen to your boss, ask questions when you don’t know what to do. Enjoy your work because it has a lot of perks. You get everything for free, movie and concert tickets, GCs, photo op with your favorite celebs.. just enjoy all of them. Have a work-life balance. Diet and exercise. You won’t be young forever so take care of your body.
Now this is very, very important so listen and take note of it. You might be wondering if you will ever fall in love. Yes you will in 2009, at the most unexpected place and time. You will love him so much. You’ll have the time of your life. But please love yourself too. Be selfish sometimes. I’m telling you this now so you can do better in this relationship. Don’t get me wrong, it feels so good to be in love. I guess it blinded me so much so you should be smart at it.
As you grow older you will learn to appreciate the simple things in life. I’m trying my best each day so you should work hard too. But don’t rush, everything has its own time so make the best out of everything. Read, write, laugh, exercise, travel, make friends, fall in love and most of all, enjoy life. Viva la vida!
September 15th, 2011 at 11:07
Get some glasses! You just don’t realize that the world is not as blurry as you thought… Your mother wouldn’t take it seriously but insist and nag her until she gets you one!
September 15th, 2011 at 11:31
Dear ten-year-old self,
Just go on doing what you like and don’t worry too much about your math grades. You’ll learn to play the cards you’ve been dealt and everything will turn out fine in the end.
Love,
Your twenty-year-old self
September 15th, 2011 at 15:00
Hey you dork,
Shut up, you’re wrong, you’re not going to die at twenty because of a car accident
Oh and quit thinking you’re destined to become the next Antichrist because your religion is a lie and Jesus won’t come down from heaven in his full fucken glory just so he can stop you from obliterating the planet, sorreh…
Proselytizing through prostitution is a bad idea–definitely not gonna work
LOLling in the deep,
You (but waaaay cooler)
September 15th, 2011 at 17:05
Stop complaining about your Arabic remedial classes. Years from now, you will look back and regret that you never took it seriously. That was what Ms. Abubakar told you yesterday after she caught you reading a Romanized version of an Arabic poem in class, right? Sadly my dear – for all the hatred you feel for her now, she is right.
You are actually very lucky that you are learning this language at an early age. Your mind still has that capacity to absorb everything quickly. But it will not always be the case. So, don’t waste your chance.
I know it is annoying having to share everything with your four other siblings. But life as an only child is not that rosy either. Be thankful that you have siblings, and though, they may not be the perfect brothers you wanted, they will always be there for you. Spend as much time as possible with them because, as fate would have it, two of them will only be around for a few more years.
Other than these, you will be fine. You will get the life you are dreaming of right now.
September 15th, 2011 at 22:22
1. Kahit ikaw yung laging nahuhuli sa cops and robbers, wag kang malumbay. Magkakaroon ng isang larong ikaw ang magliligtas sa buong koponan niyo at maaalala mo to hanggang sa pagtanda mo.
2. Balang araw (pero matagal-tagal pa ha), makakapagtapos ka ng isang half marathon. Patunay ito na hindi ka talaga pinanganak na lampa, medyo kulang ka lang sa praktis.
3. Kahit gayun pa man, di ka pa rin gaanong papayat dahil isasakatuparan mo yung pangarap mong kumain ng KFC at ice cream tuwing gusto mo. Tataba ka rin kasi mahihilig kang uminom!
4. Pagpasensyahan mo na tuwing umuuwing lasing ang tatay mo. Malalaman mo ang ibig sabihin ng “kung anong puno’y siyang bunga” kapag naranasan mo nang sumuka ng alak sa gitna ng EDSA, sa tuktok ng bundok, sa bullet train sa Japan at sa marami pang lugar (namana mo ang kawalan niya ng pagtitimpi ni dad). Mauunwaan mo rin ang tatay mo, na minsan alak lang talaga ang pinakamadaling pampalimot. Ngunit kadalasan, mas masaya ang usapang lasing!
5. Akala mo, abnormal ka kasi mas gusto mong mapag-isa na pati yung video games na nilalaro mo, pang one player lang. Medyo lang. Makikilala mo yung mga magiging kainuman mo sa high school at college.
6. Ipagpilitan mong makalipat dun sa high school na gusto mong pasukan. Kailangan mong matututong magpakumbaba. Kahit anong sabi ng principal natin, hindi ikaw ang pinakamatalinong bata sa NCR!
7. Wag ka na rin pala magreklamo tuwing kailangan mong magpagupit dahil sa malago mong buhok. Merong ka pang siyam na taon para subukan ang lahat ng istilong mauuso bago ka mag-umpisang makalbo. Kaya ituloy mo na ang pangarap mong magpa-undercut. Oo magmumukha kang tite, pero dahil lahat naman kayong mga boys ay magmumukhang tite, at least, “in” kang tite. Dun ka sa barberong crush mo magpagupit!
8. Oo, crush yang nararamdaman mo. Wala kang crush dun sa babaeng tinutukso ng mga kaklase mo sayo. Ayaw mo maniwala sa kin? Makinig kang mabuti.
9. Mas pinili mo ang Glee Club kaysa Boy Scouts at Tae Kwon Do nung nagka conflict sa schedule. Wala kang nararamdaman pag patago niyong tinitignan ni Kuya ang mga Playboy ni dad (balang-araw pala ay ilalaglag mo siya at di na kayo mag-uusap nang muli, pero keri lang). Kaboses ka ng nanay mo sa telepono (sa kasamaang-palad, hanggang sa pagtanda mo). Kaya’t kung mas maaga mong matatanggap ang tunay mong pagkatao, mas magiging masaya ka. Maniwala ka kay mommy. Mamahalin ka pa din niya kahit bakla ka, pati na din si dad. Walang “military school” kung saan pipilitin kang maging tunay na lalake sa Pilipinas, wag ka maniwala sa kuya mo.
10. Siyanga pala, ang mga sumusunod na tsismis na galling sa kuya mo at kung saan ay hindi totoo: Ang “kisses” ay nanganganak, ang siopao ay gawa sa pusa, ang Yumburger sa uod, dating sementeryo ang paaralan mo (malalaman mong lahat ng paaralan ay “dating sementeryo” din), may baklang members ang Spice Girls, may tibong members ang Backstreet Boys, binenta ng CEO ng Procter and Gamble ang kaluluwa niya kay Satanas kaya mukhang devil ang logo ng “Pringles” pag binaliktad mo to (pero babaguhin pa rin nila yung logo nila..hmmm), magwawakas ang mundo sa Year 2000. Pero wag mag-atubiling ipagkalat ang mga tsismis na to. Sanayin mo na yang pambobola mo. Marami kang malulusutang problema sa paglaki mo dahil dito.
11. Ba’t kita tinaTagalog? Kasi sa edad mong yan pakiramdam mong walang kwenta ang subject na Filipino. Hindi totoo yan! Malalaman mong napakahalaga niyan kapag nagtrabaho ka sa isang opisinang maraming dayuhan, at kapag nangingibang bansa ka. Magkakaraket ka pa ng pagtuturo ng Filipino sa mga dayuhan. Haha! Pero yung cross stitching natin sa HELE? Ipagawa mo nalang sa katulong. Hindi ka magiging mananahi magpakailanman.
Sabi nila, nasa paglalakbay at hindi sa pagdating ang kagalakan na dulot ng buhay. Kaya’t hanggang dyan na lang muna. Teka, last na, wag ka laging nakasimangot! Hindi mukhang matalino ang batang nakakunot ang noo – mukha lang siyang natatae!
September 16th, 2011 at 10:56
First off: this awkward phase will pass. You will only resemble a feral child for two years, I promise, and then you’ll grow into your looks. You won’t be a supermodel though, so stop comparing yourself to them. I’m sorry to break it to you, but the sooner you realize that some women are just meant to be prettier, skinnier, more graceful, the better off you’ll be and spared from years of neuroses and extremely bad taste in men. I know it sucks to be an awkward chubby girl and directly related to gorgeous things, but one day — it’s hard to believe — one day your flaws will be your asset. You will be funnier, more understanding and kinder for them.
You’re mom loves you but she’s kind of nutty too (difficult childhood herself and all), so don’t let every thing she says dig into you. She had you too young; she’s learning this parenting thing too as she goes along, so be patient. Contrary to what both of you simultaneously fear and hope, you will not have the same path through life. You are not doomed to repeat the same mistakes. Forgive each other.
You will go to a high school full of prematurely bored teens whose stories will make for good after-school TV specials. It’ll be fun while you’re there, but also realize that it’s not like this for every teenager. Other kids have a normal high school life without drugs and sex and prison. So yeah. Don’t be so fascinated. You have the rest of your adulthood to be acquainted with these sordid things.
Don’t stop drawing, don’t stop playing the guitar. There’s more of a future in the visual arts that you imagine. You’ll fail your first “gig” at a school Christmas party, but don’t be discouraged. Many years later Rock Band will be invented, and you’ll kill it, and ever after you’ll wonder how it would’ve felt if you just had the balls to sing or play with a band and do this for real, on stage, in front of a crowd, and you’ll regret quitting all those years ago.
Make friends with the strange kids in UPLB (you’ll go there for college). The ones with the long hair and weird clothes and nonchalance. Stop waiting to be introduced like an idiot. These are going to be the most interesting people you will ever meet. Stop trying to be so above it all. Act on stage. Scuba dive. Do a triathlon. Join the mountaineers. Apply for a scholarship abroad. Do something that scares you, while you’re young and single and filled with energy.
(One last thing. Don’t tell your mom, but virginity’s kind of overrated. Oh, and take the pill.)
September 16th, 2011 at 11:35
Hey,
I am not really sure if I should tell you what you’ll turn out to be 15 years from now. I know you are so fond of astrology and fortune telling, but you’ll grow out of these once you enter college. See? That’s the first spoiler, and it sucks knowing what will happen next. It’s like watching a film and hearing people behind you giving a blow by blow account of what’s going to happen next. Of course it doesn’t feel that way now, in your, in my 10-year old self.
But I have to compromise a bit. I think I should say something, like the ultimate piece of advice for you, for us, but I don’t even know if I am wiser now that I am 15 years older. And if I ask you to make changes in some big life decisions, like what we will major in college, would things be better? Your future self does not hold the answer to that. No one does, so you might as well give up astrology as soon as possible.
I definitely know more things than you, but only because I lived longer. Knowing is not always understanding or being wise. It’s not always that way. Age is not directly proportional to wisdom, so stop asking your classmates’ ages and stop trying to be friends with the Grade 5 kids. You will never be friends with any of them.
But you do not need to worry a lot about your future. Nobody owns it anyway. And I have to say I am utterly amazed at your ability to cope with… stuff. I won’t say a lot because it might worry you. It will worry you. We worry a lot, and I’d like you to enjoy things as they are. You still have the capacity to do that, but somewhere, you’ll temporarily lose your grip on that. Temporarily. Don’t worry. Now you are worried. Stop it.
Just carry on. Play your video games. Make gowns with blankets. Talk more with your sisters. Try to learn cooking. Or tailoring.
Life will never be too easy. But you’ll get through.
September 16th, 2011 at 14:20
Dear… me,
You’re probably looking at me right now and wondering how you became such a loser: living with Mom and Dad in Los Banos, living from paycheck to paycheck, and still living the no-boyfriend life. Yes, it looks sad, but Ate will always write letters to you, Kuya will still make the same corny jokes, and most of your best friends will still be here in Elbi… only that it will be faster and easier to talk to them, even when they’re gone. This will never change, I assure you.
A lot of your dreams will come true, too. You will live abroad and travel to faraway places on your own. You will live in Manila and never hate a single minute, traffic and everything. You will get your own computer before everyone else in the family does… and guess what? You will even find out where in the world is Carmen Sandiego.
That said, I must tell you right now about the things that will make the future much more awesome for you.
1. The bands and musicians you must learn to love now, and will: Prince, Marvin Gaye, Michael Jackson, Janet Jackson, Anita Baker, Joni Mitchell, U2, REM, Squeeze, The Clash, Peter Gabriel.
2. The clothes you must learn how to wear now, and will for all time: tops without shoulder pads, A-line skirts without pleats, button-downs, dark jeans, khaki pants, shift dresses, ballet flats.
3. There was, is, and will never be anything wrong with your body. Yes, you’re fat and chubby now, but that does not give you any license to call yourself a pig because everybody does the same.
a. There really is nothing wrong with exercise. You didn’t enjoy it because (i) your friends won’t stop teasing you about being a bad runner, and (ii) those aerobics classes were, let’s face it, baduy to the max. Keep this in mind, because you will finally learn how to run, swim, play sports, and dance to salsa and hip-hop in three years.
b. While we’re at it: Stop making that face whenever your mom makes laing and pinakbet. Carrot sticks, iceberg lettuce, and Red Delicious apples are sooooo overrated.
4. Also not wrong: Your habit of reading. You are surrounded by books and your parents’ copies of Newsweek and Reader’s Digest, so you should be proud of being able to read them at a young age. And you should never be ashamed of reading books and “komiks” at the same time; you only need to choose the right ones.
a. Ever heard of Roald Dahl? No? That’s because none of your friends in Los Banos have read his books. You must correct this mistake by asking Mom and Dad to buy his books for you at National Bookstore.
b. Another mistake you must correct: Raid Kuya’s stash of Marvel comics NOW. Yes, there will be an Avengers movie, so you must read them NOW before you turn into a poser. (Good news: You will fall in love with the actor who plays Tony Stark. Bad news: You will also fall in love with the actor who plays Clint Burton.)
5. You know that thing you do to boys you like, where you mock them and insult them slightly? Keep doing that. The boys you insult now will remember you more fondly than the girls they romance later. They – and their wives – will thank you.
a. Let the boys chase you. Chasing after them does not work, and the guys who say that you should are obviously lying to you.
b. You do not want to be one of those pretty girls you know who thrive on attention from boys. A lot of those girls will end up getting pregnant, fat, and/or stuck in unhappy marriages. Again, see point (a), above.
6. Never be afraid to make new friends. There are no regrets when it comes to friendships, even when they don’t work out for the best.
7. No always means no. Anyone who takes your “no” as “please” deserves to be cut out of your life.
8. Dad loves you, and he will stop drinking. Unfortunately, he will not stop pitying himself for not having a doctor in the family, but that’s OK because his friends will tell him how hard it is to put an indecisive child through med school.
9. Don’t ever make the mistake of thinking that you can’t do anything because you’re a girl and/or your parents won’t let you. If you want something, ask. Justify your reasons, and stand by them. This will cure you of your guilt and self-pity.
10. Above all: The best way to love yourself is to be yourself, and the best way to be yourself is to push yourself. Just because the odds are stacked against you doesn’t mean you must give up; just because you’ve been humbled doesn’t mean that you should give up. All you have to do is gather your strength and start anew, no matter what happens.
And if you think this life I have right now isn’t awesome enough for you, know this: There is no place to go but up. Even when you get to be as old as I am.
Enjoy,
Me.
September 16th, 2011 at 23:41
Dear rani,
1. Start reading now. Seriously. Don’t wait for the harry potter book your uncle will give you on your graduation day. You’ll be 13 by then. That’s very late. And finish the LOTR trilogy before turning 12, they say it will never be the same afterwards.
2. Learn how to control gluttony. It’s easier to lose those baby fats while you’re young. Yes, food is your comfort but horizontally challenged people have a really hard time. And you will be one if you don’t put down your second bag of Chippy in the span of 30 minutes.
3. In addition to number 2, force yourself to eat vegetables. You don’t have to love them. Being a carnivore is unhealthy, expensive and limiting.
4. UP is your dream. But you will not be an iska. Don’t try to change that.
5. Try going to mass every Sunday even if you don’t feel like it. You might not have the crisis I am going through right now. Blame it on poor religious foundation.
6. Don’t ever ever send that message to Toffee. No matter what happens, girls are not supposed to be the first one saying “I like you”.
7. Don’t give up on music. I know your piano and violin teachers are awful. Bear with them or be contented with not being able to play any instrument.
8. Start a diary. It’s 2001/2! Blogger.com already exists!
9. As for life, go figure it out yourself. It will be boring if I give you the manual.
Love,
The 19-year old you.
September 17th, 2011 at 09:39
Dear Mina,
Know yourself and be honest. In six years’ time, you’ll make it in the university where the students are “the best, the brightest, the bravest, the most articulate… and the most phrone to self-delusion.”
September 18th, 2011 at 11:36
Dear Steno,
A VERY BEAUTIFUL LIFE AHEAD OF YOU, so better be ready.
It’s gonna be great, trust me. In fact, four years from now you will lose your father. He will die, yes, but I’m not going to tell you how. Let’s just say it won’t be that much painful for him, although I think this fact will not be of any consolation for you. Cherish him now. Ask him about his childhood, his dreams, his embarrassing moments, his funny experiences, his love stories.
Let him teach you about man-stuff. You know, how to fix the faucet when its dripping won’t stop, how to fix loose electrical wiring, some carpentry, and that carrot-and-potato “mashup” that you both accidentally “invented.” Best of all, hug him, and tell him “I love you.”
Fateful events will not stop at that in your young life, my boy. A few months after your father’s demise, you will fall in love for the first time. And like any other first love in any person’s puberty, it won’t end happily ever after. In others words, you will also have your first heartbreak. With who, you ask? Of course I won’t tell. Clue: a kindergarten seatmate.
Don’t worry. You’ll get over it … after two years. Or four. Or eight? I really don’t know when exactly. But trust me it’ll all be over even before you can say supercalifragilisticexpialidocious, in a Flip Top competition that is.
Ah, love and high school. What a perfect combination. Anyway, high school would be a breeze. You won’t be included in the honor roll when you graduate, but brace your neck ’cause you’ll receive as much medals as the valedictorian. I don’t know how, but it seems to me that you’ll push your chances so many a time that the goddess of luck will smile on you.
Speaking of luck, on your 21st birthday you will not receive a gift. Don’t fret yet. After your birthday, blessings will overflow. You will win, after losing a lot in competitions you joined while in college. It won’t matter though. People don’t count how many times you lose. They remember how many times you win. And at this point, it’s gonna be big. It’s so big your body won’t be able to handle the pressure. You’ll acquire borderline hypertension, which will cost you your first job. But let’s not get ahead of ourselves.
It’s true that you’ll win. It’s in a local game show. You’ll win the jackpot prize. I think you deserve it since your college life will be so lacking and wanting. It’s a destitute phase in your wonderful life. Again, don’t get too excited. True, you’ll be famous and rich but not for long.
In less than a year you will consume all your winnings. Although this is a bit inaccurate, since it is not really you who will use up all the money but your “loved ones,” still it’s a fact. So don’t get me started on the fame machine.
You’ll have another consolation though, and it’s gonna be love … again. I think the fourth one will be the most serious and the truest of all. But before that, someone will confess true feelings to you. You won’t like it. I mean, you’re burdened too much already to be bothered by another. You will hurt that person so much without meaning to, and in the process you will hurt yourself, too.
It’s unrequited, the former and the latter, if you know what I mean (which of course you don’t at this point in your life). However, this I think is the “shooting-of-Ninoy” of your life. Believe you me, you will gain a lot from this experience. Against your will you will become stronger once more. If this is a role-playing game, you’ll level up!
A few years after this, on your 23rd, you will receive a gift. From who? From none other than yourself. This gift is the most precious thing one can give to oneself: acceptance. This acceptance will bring you courage. This courage will show you liberation. This liberation will impart you hope. And this hope will give you a new reason to live.
I’m telling you, it’s going to be one hell of a trip but it will be AWESOME! So fasten your seat belt and enjoy the ride.
September 18th, 2011 at 17:04
From MOMELIA at 7:54 am
Madame, closed po yung comments, sana humabol! Thanks!
===============================================
Nyear Rommel,
Ngessss Whuuu!
Ngumushta na manglitaahhhh? Oo, ango nga io, your myuchur malung malung self. Momelia nga mala mangalan nain in nyweny wan years. Nganda noh? Nanganga-ngerl. Mlower na mlower, ngumamela. Mlowing mammols! Anyway, nyumula’ ao nya yo ngasi may impotante aong nyanyamihin nya yo. At ngailangang malaman mo io ngayun ma lang mara mapaghandaan mo na mangla… mara sa nginabungasan mo rin to… nget redi… ngumapit nga na…
Ngesss Whaaa!
Keme lang, whistlebomb ka ngongobelles in twenty one years. Derecho pa rin ang salita mo, bakla nga lang. Kumbaga eh, di ka ngongo, straight pa rin ang spluk mez, ikaw lang ang witchelles. At trudis liit ang hinala mong Becky Johnson ka nga, as ef naman teh, kinder pa lang tayo eh confeerm na yan. Magdu-duda pa ba? Hellow.
Actually, girl, sperm cell ka pa lang eh becky ka na. Kasi naman noh, sperm cell din ang hinahabol mo sa fallopian tube. Pumutok nga ang fuse mo nung nadikit ka sa egg cell davah? Wai nang Maang-Maangan School of Acting. Alam mo yan, girl.
Bakla tayo! Apir!
Surely fuentes watashi na habang binabasa mo to eh may plano kang um-aura dun sa bagong lipat nating hombreng jugets diyan sa looban. Si D. Yung dakiz ang ngipen. Ohaa, nare-remember me this way ko pa yan. Malandi kasi tayo kahit nung bata pa lang. Anyway, rakenrol ka sa age na 31, witchelles mo lang knowsline sa kung paanong paraan, pero mage-enjoy ka beklette. Brace yourself.
Please lang, wag kang ma afraidy aguilar kung paano ka tatanda. Magiging long legged ka, alam mo yan. Wai nang clue noh! Ano ka, chicks? Tiis-ganda ka muna, girl.
Okay fayn, isang clue. Magkaka-haves ka ng dalawang jows by the time na mag-31 ka. Tatagal kayo ng una, pero mambababae siya after five years. Yung pangalawa naman ay gagawin kang kerida. Iba kasi ganda mo eh. Hindi natatakal. At dahil dian ay tatawagin mo ang sarili mo bilang Freddie Anne Curtis Aguilar. Isa lang ang ka-fez mo dian. At hindi ito si Anne Curtis.
Sorry, hindi ka mabubuntis. Huwag kang hoping. Hindi ka magdadalantao dahil hihina ang kapit ng bahay bata natin pagpatak mo ng 24 years old. Oo, maaring magiging 3cm ka after 24 years old, pero yan ay sa ibang kadahilanan. Dalahira ka kasi. Yan lang ang puwede kong sabihin sa yo.
Muahness from Pasig Cirehhh!
September 18th, 2011 at 22:49
There will be a 6/55 Grand Lotto draw on Novermber 29, 2010 and you have to buy a ticket with these numbers: 11-16-42-47-31-37. Keep that in mind!
By the way, you’ll be a vegetarian so eat all the meat you want right now. And no, you won’t be a pastor but you’ll still be in love with God.
September 19th, 2011 at 00:37
Thank you po madame, sorry I wasn’t so prompt, but thanks again!