JessicaRulestheUniverse.com

I’m 35, unmarried but happily attached to my boyfriend for 7 years, with a peace in my family life that only comes with decades of (successfully) threshing out issues. I have a tight circle of real best friends some of whom I travel with, a reliable old car, and a house that’s perfect for cocooning. In short, I’ve run out of goals to aim for.

I am now at a crossroads in my career and I’m having a hard time deciding which ship to jump to. This is probably the only drama I have in my life right now, which is why it’s turned to mush with my over-analysis. I need a fresh lens with which to view my options. I don’t know what I want.

I have three job offers: one with my current gig, another that will require relocation, and another that will pay me the most. I’ve tried doing the pros and cons chart, the consult with loved ones approach, feng shui, prayers and keeping still in bed for an entire weekend to “connect with myself”. But still I don’t know what I want.

What are the things one must consider when faced with three forks in the career road? Please don’t give me crap about “doing what you love, doing good for others,” etc etc because they’re all good offers and I know I’ll adjust once I’ve decided. I’m just having a hard time deciding (ie. closing doors).

Help?

I have half a mind to send my credit card bills to your address just to add a little bit more drama to your life. I can assure you that they would cause your forehead to furrow in consternation.

I think it is high time to focus on your personal goals. Do you want to marry your boyfriend? How grand should your wedding be? Should you invite me to your wedding and billet me in a five-star hotel that gives its guests butlers? How many kids do you want to have? To what schools would you like to send them? What kind of life would you like them to have? The question that needs to be answered now is what job would best complement the life you want to lead. It is no longer about owning a car, a house or being financially stable but about what kind of life you want to have with the people you love.

If you want to have a family, I suggest that you get the job that would pay you the most money. I assure you that you will suddenly find that your house is not big enough for your growing family and one car is not enough to accommodate your baby’s safety seat and it’s assortment of baby things. You will need to buy at least one more car. The nanny, make that nannies, need to have seats in the car and they need their own bedroom and bathroom. Think of the birthday parties that you have to throw in an attempt to outdo the other birthday parties in your child’s class and make him popular. Your electricity bill will skyrocket because the five air conditioning units in your house need to be functioning twenty four hours a day. At least two TVs will be blaring during the day – one for the maid who needs to watch her variety shows while preparing meals in the kitchen and another for the maid babysitting your kid. Three, if your kid hogs the humongous flat screen TV in the living room and your two maids do not watch the same shows. These are just a fragment of the things you would have to spend on when you start a family.

But does your boyfriend really want to marry you? (A question that could trigger events of soap opera proportions). You have been steady for seven years and the two of you are presumably doing well. (Wait, are you a woman?I’ve just realized that you did not specify whether you are an unmarried man or a woman. One can no longer presume these days). I find it suspicious that he has not proposed to you yet. Is he being evasive about the subject? Does he change the topic whenever you try to talk about marriage or kids? If yes, you may have a problem. Menopause is about seven to ten years down the road. I’m just saying. If you want to shake things up between the two of you and at the same time make sure once and for all that he has plans of marrying you, I suggest that you relocate. He should not be complacent and must be reminded that he could still lose you despite all these years.

It seems that you are no longer besotted with your current job, otherwise you would not be considering these two job offers. If you think that your job is holding you back from fulfilling your full potential, by all means do not overstay. I think that all of us should continually strive to move forward to bigger things be it in our professional or personal lives.

To cover all the corners, if you are a gay man I urge you to take the job with more pay. A gay man’s aspiration in life, I am told, is to become more fabulous as the years pass. Try to outdo the former you.

If you can’t still make up your mind, just give me your address. Better yet, I’ll give you my bank account number. At least you will be able to help somebody who is in need.