JessicaRulestheUniverse.com

Motel by Edward Hopper at the Thyssen-Bornemisza Museum. She knows how you feel.

I was almost out of milk and butter (I am basic and still consume dairy) so I stepped out of the building and went to the 7-11. First time in 13 days that I ventured farther than the parking space. Later I realized that I’d forgotten to bring my quarantine pass; lucky no one asked to see my papers. (Spy cosplay will keep us from despair.)

Normally I don’t…alright, stop. There is no “normal” anymore, this is the way we live now.

In the past I avoided going to convenience stores because they’re expensive. I only went to grab snacks and cold sugary drinks, which I shouldn’t be having anyway so might as well punish my wallet. Since then, the supermarket being 1,500 steps away and the lines long, I have relied on the 7-11 for supplies and taken to looking at the merchandise like a diligent tourist at a museum, i.e. no touching. (Sudden memory of a tourist touching a painting and a security guard swooping in out of nowhere and shouting, “Step away from the painting! Stand right there and don’t move!”)

There was a sheet of plastic between the cashiers and the customers, which reminded me of the plastic curtains rolled up over the windows of public jeepneys. When it rains the “trapal” are lowered, turning the vehicle interiors into a sweatbox. On the UP Ikot jeep I preferred to sit up front next to the person seated next to the driver, so I wouldn’t have to scootch to make room for new passengers. (Sudden memory of a driver turning around to admonish some girls to make room. “Mag-ayos-ayos naman kayo,” meaning to sit properly so more passengers fit into the narrow bench. The girls simultaneously ran their hands over their hair—“nag-ayos-ayos.”)

There was a plastic box on the counter with a sign that said, “Place your money here.” We’re all Tony Stark now, we don’t want to be handed things. There were three of us shopping in the store, all dressed for a hold-up in masks and gloves. I got milk, Ligo sardines (Suddenly the brand is very cool, with their witty social media and the donation of their entire advertising budget to fighting the pandemic) and cheese pimiento. There was no butter, but there was liver spread (Sudden memory of my mother persuading me to eat liver, which I used to hate, “for red lips.” I don’t know what the connection is.)

I sense that more than three weeks into lockdown many people are Bored And Seething, and telling them to cheer up and read a book will get me a virtual punch in the face. So I will shut up in the chat groups and say something only when asked to.