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*****

Dead Again
Review of Tirad Pass: The Last Stand of General Gregorio del Pilar
Directed by Carlo J. Caparas, Starring Romnick Sarmenta
In Twisted, TODAY, 8 July 1996

. . .The movie itself is untainted by historical authenticity. It is 1898 and the Katipuneros are armed with amazing rifles which require no reloading whatsoever. At the climactic Battle of Tirad Pass, the Pinoys fortify their positions with sharpened bamboo stakes which serve no conceivable purpose but to impale them as they get shot. It certainly gives new meaning to the term, ‘suicide troops’.

There are loud explosions which cause no perceptible damage, and there is a three-second differential between the blast and the flying bodies. At one point a corpse comes back to life, then dies again.

I am told that during the filming of an earlier Carlo J. Massacre movie, the actress pointed out that since she had been stabbed in the back, she should have a bloodstain in the general area. ‘We’ll add the blood in post-production,’ the director said. In the finished product you can see the bloodstain following the actress across the screen.

You cannot accuse Caparas of being limited by genre: somewhere in the middle, Tirad Pass turns into a documentary, with hazy video footage and pictures from grade school textbooks. Narration is provided by the guy who must’ve been the elocution coach for the classic electric fan commercial with Pia Moran (‘baaahks paahn, eestaahnd paahn, colored mood lights. . .’).

The writer-director offers an interesting insight as to why we lost the war: at the secret meetings of the Katipunan, everyone talks very loud. Not only do the characters yak too much in a mock-formal Tagalog like rejects from a balagtasan but they actually provide a blow-by-blow account of the action. Gregorio del Pilar (Romnick Sarmenta) and his brother discuss the meeting at Biak-na-Bato. ‘Pinag-uusapan nila ang Biak-na-Bato,’ proclaim the kibitzers. Gregorio and his brother start fighting. ‘Mukhang nagkakainitan ang magkapatid,’ they chorus. How very thoughtful of the director to think of the visually-impaired members of the audience.

. . .The Spaniards are played by assorted white people who look like they were rounded up from some sleazy bar in the red-light district. When the Spaniards are booted out, they get to play Americans.

At the core of the movie is the relationship between Del Pilar and his commander-in-chief, Emilio Aguinaldo (Joel Torre). . .Caparas may not be aware of it, but Tirad Pass suggests an intriguing motivation for del Pilar’s bravery and eventual sacrifice. . .There are protracted sequences in which Torre and Sarmenta exchange lingering looks and passionately declare their loyalty to the flag. When they bid each other goodbye before the Battle of Tirad Pass, the person sitting behind me said, ‘Kiss! Kiss!’

. . .History tells us that General del Pilar and a few dozen men were assigned to hold Tirad Pass to buy time for General Aguinaldo. In the movie Del Pilar’s sacrifice is pointless because Aguinaldo wastes his time hanging about his campsite. When he finally gets on his horse it staggers forward at 1 kph. . .mukhang naghihingalo ang kabayo.

. . .This is how our heroes are honored—they become the subjects of stupid movies. They’ve already given their lives for this country, let’s not kill them all over again.

*****

In the original review I said that in Tirad Pass Joel Torre gives the worst performance of his career. I was wrong. His career nadir has to be the role of the grieving OFW father in another Carlo J. Caparas masterpiece, The Lipa Massacre (Lord Deliver Us From Carlo J. Caparas Movies, I mean Evil). On the plane back to the Philippines, his character discovers that his family has been murdered. Gushing tears and snot, he crawls on the floor, eats the carpet, and tries to force the plane down with sheer bad acting. For that he won the Famas Award.

Poster from Video 48.

Joel you know we love ya, although Butch will never forgive you for breaking your foot on a Banaue rice terrace so he couldn’t use his backstage pass to the Santana concert. Years later, Uro directed Joel in a horror movie. He said, ‘Joel, remember what you did in The Lipa Massacre? The big acting scene? For this sequence I want you to give me. . .five percent of that intensity.’

Alright that’s enough fun at Joel’s expense. Eat at JT’s Manukan, everybody.

*****

Danton swears that in the 90s Caparas was planning a movie on the Lucila Lalu story. The working title: The Lucila Lalu Story (God, Where’s My Head?).