JessicaRulestheUniverse.com

Of all the literary prizes, the Bookers, Goncourts, Pulitzers and whatever, the one that really makes me want to read the winning book is the Bad Sex Award. The award is handed out by the Literary Review in London to celebrate truly cringe-worthy erotic writing. This year’s winner is Twenty Something by first-time author Iain Hollingshead. Hollingshead’s evocation of grunts, squeaks, and bulging trousers beat out the more established competition, including David Mitchell (Black Swan Green), Mark Haddon (A Spot of Bother), Irvine Welsh (Bedroom Secrets of the Master Chefs) and Will Self (The Book of Dave). My personal favorite in the shortlist is Thomas Pynchon’s Against The Day. Pynchon’s latest may have been badly-reviewed—”Pynchon composing a pastiche of a Pynchon novel”—but only a master could’ve written this bizarre sex scene ending with the line, “Reader, she bit him.”