JessicaRulestheUniverse.com

Contrary to the popular assumption, the Pope does not wear Prada. (The public must have him confused with that other one.)

“L’Osservatore Romano, the Vatican newspaper, categorically denied reports today that (the Pope’s) shoes were a Prada product, saying this was “of course false”. According to Vatican sources the Pope’s shoes are made by a cobbler from Novara called Adriano Stefanelli, who makes them from calf or kid for the winter and nappa leather for the summer. Papal shoe repairs are carried out by Antonio Arellano, a Peruvian shoemaker in the Borgo, the medieval quarter next to St Peter’s. The article, on “Ratzinger’s Liturgical Vestments”, was written by Juan Manuel de Prada, the noted Spanish writer and author of The Tempest, who is not related to the fashion company. De Prada said that the image of the German-born Pope as concerned with “frivolity” was at odds with the truth, which was that he was a “simple and sober” man. Suggestions to the contrary were “stupid and banal”.”

I take taxis everyday, and I’ve been wondering: What is the net effect on the drivers’ and passengers’ mental health of constant unabated exposure to radio content, including

a. News of the day, 95% of it bad, the other 4% horrific
b. Angry commentators fulminating about the news of the day, with the inevitable conclusion that nothing ever changes in this country
c. Callers relating their sad encounters with official corruption, venality and ineptitude, leading to the inevitable conclusion that everyone is “gago”
d. Bad pop and worse bossa nova
e. Unfunny jokes and tag lines delivered by announcers who seem to think that screaming makes everything funnier
f. Maudlin, hysterical drama serials about desperate, unhappy, desperately unhappy people with no hope
g. The needy making appeals for help to the general public because they have no one else to turn to
h. Do they still have that AM show where the relatives of OFWs can call their provider in a foreign country and ask why their remittance hasn’t arrived or is late or is not enough to cover their needs especially since someone in the family is pregnant again?

I don’t believe in the true-good-beautiful best-foot-forward approach and pretending everything is peachy when it’s not, but shouldn’t there be a limit to the amount of horror and torment that we passively absorb from the airwaves? What about some perspective? Programmers will argue that the public deserves to hear the truth, but I’m beginning to suspect a campaign to make us run amuck.

Hieronymus Bosch, Ship of Fools, originally uploaded by saffysafina.

The lonely goatherd asks: Why is Sulpicio Lines still operating? Why hasn’t it been forcibly disbanded? With a record like theirs—some 7,000 passengers killed in about 23 years—why does anybody still travel with them? And has President Arroyo repeated President Aquino’s “No stone unturned” promise yet?

(1) I DON’T KNOW, but if someone has a sound theory, do post it. (2) Uhh, because its defenders argue that there aren’t enough vessels working in these 7,100 islands and a shipping line with a Titanic-type body count is better than no shipping line at all? (3) As far as I know, more people died in the sinking of Doña Paz than on 9/11, but no one declared war on unsafe transportation. It’s “bahala na” at its deadliest. (4) Aargh.

Living in the Philippines often feels like blunt force trauma so it makes perfect sense that our hero is a boxer. Considering that he carries the weight of the expectations of 90 million Filipinos along with the added weight needed to move up a division, it’s a wonder Manny Pacquiao can stand up at all. Little guy beating up the bigger guys—resonate much? But he destroyed David Diaz in impressive fashion, demonstrating that a boxer in late mid-career can learn new things—something Pinoy politicians can’t seem to grasp.

Kevin Mitchell in The Guardian: “…that is why Pacquaio is making such a buzz: he delivers. The fight game is slowly relearning some of its old habits - like the best fighting the best. This is not out of any concern for the fans or the legacy of the sport, but an admission by TV moguls and promoters that professional boxing is losing its lustre. For years, TV, with the limp co-operation of the sanctioning bodies, has pandered to the tactics of rival matchmakers, whose overriding concern has been to keep their star money-earners apart until they could no longer credibly do so…Since the most recent, and hopefully final, retirement of Mayweather, Pacquaio has inherited the mantle of the best fighter in the world, pound for pound.”

The proceedings of the 2008 Young Entrepreneur Award regional finals at the HSBC headquarters in Hong Kong.

Pitches included a spray-on acoustic application (Philippines), worms for waste management (Malaysia), weeds as fertilizer (Bangladesh), and waterproof make-up you apply like a temporary tattoo (Thailand). The winner was the make-up.

Filipinos Test Catholic Clout: Family-Planning Policies Urged To Help Strengthen the Economy. By JAMES HOOKWAY, Wall Street Journal, June 20, 2008 (Thanks, pq.)

“For centuries, the Roman Catholic Church has exerted its influence on the Philippines like it has in few other countries. That includes lobbying against the kind of family-planning policies that have slowed population growth elsewhere in recent decades. But now, as rice and gasoline prices reach records and the world’s population is expected to strain resources further as it swells to seven billion by 2012, population-control advocates are coming out in greater numbers here against what they see as the Vatican’s efforts to hold back the country’s economic potential…

“The Church is having none of it. Monsignor Pedro Quitorio, the spirited spokesman for the Catholic Bishops Conference of the Philippines, argues that the reason the country is poor isn’t because it is overpopulated but because corruption and sloppy economic planning have made it poor. “And poorer countries produce more children,” he says, especially mostly agricultural economies, where having more children means more hands to till the soil and a better chance of family support in old age.

“Growing populations can help create markets, build industries and add to a country’s economic output, as long as the right policies are in place to allow that growth spurt to take place. Japan, for instance, supports about 130 million on a similar-sized land mass to the Philippines, which is home to 90 million people, most of whom are still supported by a fragile, agricultural economy.

“In many ways, rapid population growth is a sort of multiplier of bad economic policy…And in the Philippines, policy — especially its failure to root out corruption and create an efficient agricultural sector — has been bad…”

George Carlin is dead at 71.

Here are the Seven Words You Can Never Say On Television.

Jerry Seinfeld paying tribute to Carlin: “You could certainly say that George downright invented modern American stand-up comedy in many ways. Every comedian does a little George. I couldn’t even count the number of times I’ve been standing around with some comedians and someone talks about some idea for a joke and another comedian would say, “Carlin does it.” I’ve heard it my whole career: “Carlin does it,” “Carlin already did it,” “Carlin did it eight years ago.”…I know George didn’t believe in heaven or hell. Like death, they were just more comedy premises. And it just makes me even sadder to think that when I reach my own end, whatever tumbling cataclysmic vortex of existence I’m spinning through, in that moment I will still have to think, “Carlin already did it.””

Beastly beastly beastly beastly beastlybeastly weather. And I usually like pouring rain, lashing wind and gloom, but not when it comes with a power outage. I am working on generator power which, given the rocketing cost of diesel and the state of the enviroment, is not good.

Otsu and I saw Get Smart yesterday and laughed and laughed. It’s hilarious in a nerdy-deadpan way, viz the exchange between Maxwell Smart (Steve Carell) and Siegfried (Terence Stamp): “If I were Control, you’d already be dead.” “If you were Control, you’d already be dead.” “The fact that neither of us is dead means I am not Control.” Otsu’s complaint: Ken Davitian who played Azamat in Borat is sorely underused as Kaos’s number two. My question: Why is Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson not a bigger star? He’s good-looking, funny, self-mocking and a gifted actor, as anyone who’s seen him play Kirsten Dunst’s cheerleader in Bring It On knows. Dwayne stars in Southland Tales, one of most reviled And praised movies of 2007; he’s excellent.

I’ve never seen Grey’s Anatomy, but I can see what the fuss over Patrick Dempsey is about, so I went to see Made Of Honour. Big mistake. Dempsey plays a guy who’s just ten years out of college, so he has to look and act younger than his real age. There’s a reason why he’s a star now, in his 40s, and wasn’t in his 20s: he projects better as the older guy. He’s more attractive when slightly mournful. Then Kevin McKidd, who was Vorenus in Rome, turns up as his Scottish opponent. Patrick is very pretty, as the late Sydney Pollack points out several times in the movie, but I’d pick the guy who can throw a tree while wearing a skirt.

I don’t watch TV at home—I don’t need the 24-hour news networks to remind me that the world’s going to hell in a handbasket. There’s nothing like being extremely up to date on current events to make one feel powerless. If the news is really vital, someone will text it to me. Like, “The good news is, the ransom for Ces Drilon has been paid and she will be freed. The bad news is, the 10M will be passed on to Meralco consumers as a systems loss charge.” I’m happy Ces is free; I’m not happy that politicians are using her release for their tawdry propaganda.

When I’m not at home I watch the BBC. Taliban prison break, massive flooding in Iowa, the energy crisis, the food crisis, Mozambicans setting themselves on fire in South Africa—talk about feeling powerless. Yeah, I know reducing my carbon footprint will help in the long run, but that makes me feel virtuous, not powerful. I can’t even yell, “Hey Luca, the goal is over there!”

The Hong Kong news post-flood is about the fear of a bird flu outbreak. HK magazine ran a hilarious piece called 28 Chickens Later. “Day 17: Faced with a dearth of safe eateries, people flock to fast food outlets in the conviction that whatever they’re serving, it can’t be chicken.”

One rainy afternoon I thought I’d go to the Peninsula for tea. On the sidewalk outside the hotel, I saw a dead bird, its wings outstretched. Maybe it wasn’t dead, just tired out after a long squawk or pining for the fjords. Maybe it crashed into a building. Maybe a cat jumped it. But the first thought that popped into my head was “Bird flu!” and I walked away very fast.

Bonus question: Some historians believe that Alexander the Great was stricken with West Nile virus or malaria, poisoned by enemies, or unwittingly made to OD by his own physicians. But the histories say that just before Alexander became fatally ill, he saw birds falling out of the sky in great numbers. Any chance it was bird flu that got him?

“Once a joke or a cautionary tale, today gold-digging is being offered as a viable career choice for women, viewed with a new regard, even glamour. High-end cosmetics line Laura Mercier has launched The Gold Digger Collection this summer so we can all look like one. Walk down the local high street and you’re likely to see a young woman in a T-shirt proclaiming “Golddigga”, or, for those who prefer a more formal approach, “Hello, My Name is Gold Digger”. You can purchase T-shirts online that say “Sugar Daddy”, “I Love My Sugar Daddy”, “Wanted: Sugar Daddy. Please Submit Bank Details Upon Application”. This is supposed to be ironic, but would these same women wear a T-shirt emblazoned with “Prostitute”?”

Sarah Churchwell on Material Girls in The Guardian.

“. . .from now on, it will be unremarkable for a woman to win primary state victories, unremarkable to have a woman in a close race to be our nominee, unremarkable to think that a woman can be the President of the United States. And that is truly remarkable.”

I watched the live telecast of Hillary Clinton’s concession speech. I found it exceptionally moving, and I’m not exactly a fan of hers. Days earlier I watched her “I’m not deciding right now” speech. I found it ungracious, I thought she should’ve declared her support for Barack Obama right there, but now that I think about it, it usually takes candidates weeks and months to concede defeat. She took a few days. That concession speech washed away the bad taste of the previous one. I like the way she reminded women of the things we take for granted, things which earlier generations of women had to fight for. Yes, she was addressing Americans, but these issues affect everyone. It would be foolhardy of us not to pay attention.

Many people dislike Hillary Clinton because she has an air of grasping ambition about her. She stood by Bill Clinton throughout his trials, but one got the impression that she did it for her own political career. She did not have her husband’s charm and warmth; she was simply not likeable. A friend of mine avidly detests Hillary because she reminds her of our own president. (Speaking of remarkable, the Philippines is often viewed as a patriarchal society, but we have had two female presidents. Neither of whom have exactly advanced women’s rights, neither of whom have so much as mentioned family planning.)

And yet no one disputes that running for PUSA requires massive, vaulting ambition. We forget that ambition is a good thing. Look at the current PUSA. By many accounts his youth was marked by a distinct lack of drive and ambition. Did he even want to be president? It’s as if he just landed in that office after a long binge, and look where he’s taken America, dragging the rest of the world with it.

Ambition doesn’t guarantee competence, but at the very least it indicates true desire and preparation. Some people are just better at concealing what they want. Maybe Hillary was disliked because she’s too direct, and we prefer ambition that is couched in coy, pretty terms.

Next question: Will the Fil-American voters choose Barack Obama?

Saw The Spy Who Came In From The Cold, directed by Martin Ritt and starring Richard Burton. Man it’s bleak. Not a laugh in the whole movie. And yet it makes me want to read the entire Le Carre oeuvre. (Alright, the Smiley books. Constant Gardener, ewww.) There are no heroes. The spies are regular schlubs, they don’t carry cool gadgets or drive snazzy cars, and they don’t actually engage in hand-to-hand combat. They wage war with their brains: reading the enemy, predicting their moves, finding exploitable flaws. Double-crosses become triple-crosses become quadruple-crosses. “Intelligence” lives up to its name. One has to admire the cold, calculating bastards who run the agents. I wonder if the fact that the espionage genre has moved on from John Le Carre to the Tom Clancies reflects the decline in “intelligence”. Technology aids the clever, and it also enables the mediocre; it democratises.

I also realized that Russell Crowe wants to be Richard Burton. Same eyes.