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Matt Czap’s animation of Badger’s Star Trek pie-eating contest story in Breaking Bad, versus

The Lardass Barf-o-rama story from Stand By Me.

We were having merienda in Rockwell, enjoying the afternoon gloom and discussing an idea for a movie. Ricky noted that the lead would have to be an actor of a specific age group and socio-economic class. Having seen Sana Dati, we know whom we would cast in all the “disente at seryosong tao” roles, so we said, “T.J. Trinidad”.

We really should pay more attention to our conjuring powers because foom! who should appear in an FC Barcelona cap and jacket, walking towards Healthy Options, but the abovementioned.

“Is that T.J. Trinidad?” we asked.

“It is!” Ricky confirmed.

“Let’s talk to him!”

“Oh no,” Ricky said. “You accost him, and I’ll watch from a distance.”

Between potential embarrassment (He tells us to go away) and potential regret (We do nothing and he goes away), we pick embarrassment. No matter how cringe-making it is, it’s still a story you can laugh about with your friends. Tales of regret tend to be corny or depressing. “Live dangerously!” we said. “We’re going inside a health food store!!”

So we went up to T.J. Trinidad as he was buying organically-grown groceries, and from a personal space-respecting distance of 1.5 meters, said we loved his character in the movie. Luckily he was familiar with our work, which always alleviates awkwardness. When Ricky saw that T.J. was not yelling for security, he joined us.

We congratulated T.J. on his Best Supporting Actor award, which he wasn’t around to collect. He said he was absent because they couldn’t find a yaya for their one-year-old kid. We talked about how he worked with the director to create a back story for his character in the movie—a guy who has to strike a balance between his personal principles and his family’s expectations. Three minutes, the limit for accosting famous people.

Sana Dati opens in theatres on 25 September.

About the conjuring: We were taken to an exorcist when we were a year old so we stopped doing it. Then we had a formal scientific education that dismisses it. We get the occasional weird episode, though.

My parents had a good reason for taking me to the movies all the time, because I had been sick with asthma since I was three years old and I apparently couldn’t do any sports, or that’s what they told me. But my mother and father did love the movies. They weren’t in the habit of reading—that didn’t really exist where I came from—and so we connected through the movies.

And that’s actually part of the wonder. Whenever I hear people dismiss movies as “fantasy” and make a hard distinction between film and life, I think to myself that it’s just a way of avoiding the power of cinema. Of course it’s not life—it’s the invocation of life, it’s in an ongoing dialogue with life.

Read the essay at the NYRB.

The box! Paul Atreides and the Reverend Mother Gaius Helen Mohiam in the David Lynch film of Dune that critics hated and we love.

A few nights ago, I dreamt of Arrakis. Arrakis—Dune—Desert Planet. Was this the awakening of my latent prescient abilities or just a hint that it was time for Science of Future Past to explore the science and technology in Frank Herbert’s Dune?

Read Science of Future Past by Lee Falin.

Download Five Years of Stories (4,000 pages of original, award-winning fantasy and science-fiction) free at tor.com. Extended!

Ekstra opens in cinemas on 14 August 2013.
Instant Mommy opens on 28 August 2013.
Sana Dati opens on 25 September 2013.

* * * * *

No one can ever say that we choose half-measures. When we said we loved Sana Dati, we meant we would go to the mattresses for it (and that includes mixing up Breaking Bad and Godfather references).

We’ve just spent the last 48 hours geeking out on Jerrold Tarog’s anti-romcom. On Saturday we did a podcast with its maker. On Sunday we got up early to go to Alabang Town Center and watch it again. And then we had merienda at Juan’s house and talked our friends’ ears off about the movie. Then Ricky decided to blow off his evening appointment so we could attend the Cinemalaya awards night at CCP. Where we were astonished to find that the jury agreed with us (because this never happens).

In the Directors’ Showcase, the awards for Sound Design, Musical Score and Editing went to Jerrold Tarog (and his pseudonyms Roger TJ Ladro and Pats R. Ranyo) for Sana Dati. The Production Design award went to Ericson Navarro and the Cinematography award to Mackie Galvez for Sana Dati. TJ Trinidad won the Best Supporting Award for his heartbreaking portrayal as the other guy in Sana Dati.

The only movie standing in the way of a Sana Dati sweep was Ekstra. We’re very pleased for our friend Jeffrey Jeturian, who won the Best Screenplay award (with Zig Dulay and Antoinette Jadaone) for his very first attempt at writing. Ekstra also won the Jury Prize and the NETPAC (Network for the Promotion of Asian Cinema) prize. The jury opted not to hand out a Best Actor award. Ruby Ruiz as the harried talent coordinator in Ekstra bagged the Best Supporting Actress prize, and Vilma Santos won Best Actress in her first indie outing. Ate Vi could not attend the CEremony; if she had appeared, our eardrums would’ve liquefied from the cheering. Ekstra opens in theatres on August 14—you have to see it.

Best Director went to Jerrold Tarog and Best Film to Sana Dati. We hope that GMA Network, which saved the production at the last minute by buying the broadcast rights (Thank You!), will give it a theatrical run.

In the New Breed section, Transit by Hannah Espia (which we haven’t seen because we couldn’t get tickets) also managed a near-sweep, bagging the Best Film, Direction, Cinematography, Actress (Irma Adlawan), and Supporting Actress (Jasmine Curtis-Smith) awards, among others.

Best Supporting Actor went to Joey Paras for Babagwa, and Best Actor to Mimi Juareza for Quick Change. If we’re not mistaken, this is the first time a transgender has won a major acting award here. Shouldn’t Mimi be in the Best Actress category though? In any case she was brilliant in Quick Change, and we were moved by her genuine shock and emotion at hearing her name called.

* * * * *

One of the sources.

Jerrold Tarog wrote his first screenplay Sana Dati in 2006, and over the years he pitched it to a lot of producers. Nothing happened. In the meantime he made six feature films. In 2013 Sana Dati was accepted in the Directors’ Showcase at Cinemalaya, and he still couldn’t find the funds to shoot it. Just as he was about to quit, a producer appeared. Listen to the back story of Sana Dati in our podcast interview, along with tips on how to prevent overacting and questions he never wants to be asked again.

Our interview with Jerrold Tarog in the not-quite weekly podcast. Listen, download, or get it on iTunes.

There’s been a lot of grumbling about how hard it is to get tickets to Cinemalaya—and this is a good thing. The shows are sold-out!

If you don’t buy your tickets well in advance or book seats online, good luck getting into the screenings at Greenbelt. Given the clamor for tickets and the heightened interest in this year’s entries, wouldn’t it be great if the Cinemalaya screenings at Greenbelt, Trinoma, and Alabang Town Center were extended for another week?

Yesterday we didn’t get to Greenbelt till 3pm and all the screenings we wanted to attend were full. Luckily we ran into friends at the coffee shop, merienda turned into a swap meet, and we scored the precious tickets to Amor y Muerte.

Set in the town of Polo, Bulacan in the 16th century, Ces Evangelista’s Amor y Muerte is about the clash of civilizations: the repressive religion of the Spanish colonizers versus the sexual freedom of the indigenous people. Or as Max the French film critic put it: It’s more fun in the Philippines!

The stuck-up colonial regime is represented by Diego (Markki Stroem), a Spanish official. The sexually uninhibited population is represented by Apitong (Adrian Sebastian), a native Tagalog who lives in the forest. Diego is married to a Tagalog woman, Amor (Althea Vega) who used to be Apitong’s lover. Amor is quite voracious, and within hours of Diego’s departure to help quell Lakandula’s rebellion in Manila, she’s throwing off her clothes and jumping under the waterfalls with Apitong.

Suddenly we were seized with nostalgia for the “agribusiness” classics of the 90s: Kangkong, Talong, Itlog, Patikim Ng Pinya, and Kapag Ang Bigas Ay Naging Kanin, May Bumayo Kapag Ang Palay Naging Bigas, May Bumayo. This is a movie in which the culture wars are fought with butts: Diego’s pale Spanish buns against Apitong’s tanned native ass, both of them, uhh, pounding away at the issue.

Apitong would seem to have the advantage because he walks around in a loincloth and carries a very large python. A literal python—among other things he’s an exterminator, specializing in rat infestations. (Every time the word “sawa” was uttered we could not contain our shrieks of laughter.) However, Diego makes up for being fully-dressed by taking off his clothes every ten minutes or so. Markki Stroem’s acting is terrible but no one could take their eyes off him because he’s so naked.

The production design is hilariously slipshod, and the 16th century costumes look like they came from SM five minutes ago. Their “scrolls” have machine-cut edges and plastic rollers and the words are written with chisel-edge marker pens. Someone appears looking like a reject from Huwag Mong Buhayin Ang Bangkay and is asked, “Kumusta na?” Yet, for all its deficiencies, this movie has a daffy vigor that puts many of its high-minded competitors to shame.

Entonces, an peliqulan ito ay naqaqathira nan ulo! Huwaq qaliqtaan!

What the production gets right: Althea Vega looks like the Chinese-Filipino mestiza in this 19th century photo by Francisco Van Camp.